Category Archives: Zombocalypse Now

Zombocalypse Down

Surrounded by a ravening horde of zombies, supply of ammo dwindling, we had a choice to make for our little stuffed bunny buddy -- go out in a blaze of glory or save a bullet for ourselves. Being muy macho, we opted for the former:

D'oh! "Never trust a guy named Vinny", I think that's the lesson we can take away from this little misstep. Or possibly "Never start a land war in Asia", but perhaps I'm getting my intellectual properties confused.

So our adventure ends here, surrounded by the sprawled bodies of our fallen foes, doomed to spend eternity wandering around as a drooling, brain-eating stuffed bunny zombie. There are worse fates, I suppose, like maybe being married to a Kardashian. Although, I wonder what happens to zombies once they eat all the humans? Can they turn cannibal and eat other zombies for whatever brain dregs are left?

Hopefully we'll never know.

I'd like to thank "Zombocalypse Now" author Matt Youngmark for writing such a fun, engaging adventure, and all of you for playing along. If you haven't yet purchased your own copy, I highly encourage you to do so. You can take the forks we did not, and see if maybe you can arrive at a different conclusion. Having read through quite a few of them, I promise you'll enjoy the journey.

Next week we start a new Matt Youngmark adventure, so be sure to tune in on Thursday!

Whom to shoot? That is the question.

When last we left our zombie-fighting stuffed bunny, we were deciding whether to rally the police troops or to gracefully retire to a holding cell. Breaking from our normal habit of enlightened self-interest, we opted to go all Dirty Harry on Clampy Pete:

Well. Ahem. That seems not to have turned out so well. But we're still fighting, people! We have both a gun and bullets, which you have to admit is better than just one of the two. Plus we have a plucky if somewhat pessimistic pal parading down the primrose path to Hell with us.

On the one hand I'm tempted to go Full Metal Rabbit on these jokers. Maybe we can blast a path clear to shelter, or failing that maybe we can trip our erstwhile companion and slow the horde down while they feast on his brains and we make our escape.

On the other hand, this is looking a bit desperate, and I've grown fond of having our brains in our own head and not in some zombie's gullet. So some sort of "out" would be nice, just in case.

You make the call and defend it in the comments, folks!

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To Pontificate or Incarcerate, that is the question

Our little stuffed bunny buddy was last seen in an alley behind the police station with zombie guts in his eye, dithering over whether to get it out OUT OUT or just nut up and head on in to the precinct. Which raises two questions:

  • First, who among us has not been, at some point in our fragile human lives, staggering around in an alley behind the police station in some sort of distress over goo in our eyes?
  • And second, does a stuffed bunny have nuts with which to nut up? Since he was on a date and hoping to score, I assume so.

After due process and careful deliberation, we in our infinite wisdom have gone the velveteen nut route, screwed up our courage, and bolted for the hard, safe arms of the local constabulary without washing our eyes first. Hopefully our tears of joy when Daddy saves us will wash out the zombie goo sufficiently:

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Eye of the Tiger. Rabbit. Zombie. Whatever.

When last we left our intrepid stuffed bunny explorer, we were experiencing a severe case of authorial smack-down, wherein he gaver us the hand while we considered of enacting scenes from "Pulp Fiction". Only instead of a samurai sword and a gut-wrenching case of involuntary S&M, we had a tire iron and a gut-eating case of zombies. It would seem that cooler heads prevailed and we decided to go with the disguise option instead. Now we get to see if this Matt Youngmark fellow is a kindly old guiding-force wizard or a reader-hating attack weasel.

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Don't MAKE me get all meta on your stuffed butt

When last we left our stuffed bunny, we had decided to pick up a tire iron and, I quote, "get medieval on their asses". Meaning we wanted to walk into a mob of zombies attacking the police station and start hitting them. On purpose.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get zombie guts out of velveteen fur?!

Regardless, the die is cast and here are the results:

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A-policing we will go!

Before we return to our regularly scheduled stuffed-bunny zombie adventure, I wanted to say a quick word of thanks to "Zombocalypse Now" author Matt Youngmark. He was kind enough to email me last week to say he appreciated that all of you were having fun following along with his story and to let me know that they have another Chooseomatic Book -- this time with a super-hero theme! -- coming out next week titled "Thrusts of Justice":

As you've seen here, Mr. Youngmark's writing jumps off the page and makes the entire "choose your own" paradigm a heck of a lot of fun. If you haven't already gotten your copy of "Zombocalypse Now", I highly encourage you to do so. And on April 11, go ahead and get "Thrusts of Justice" as well. I know I will!

And now, on with our regularly scheduled stuffed bunny versus brain-eating zombie thriller.

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To hop or to cop? That is the question.

Our little stuffed bunny has paused outside the zombie-ridden street in front of his Celica, pondering his next fluffy move. Dive into the car and race for the nearest carrot patch, or dash away dash away dash away home on his hoppity little bunny feet?

You all have spoken, and running it is:

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You know what's better than one zombie? SIX zombies!

Like their living brethren, apparently stuffed bunnies have very powerful legs perfectly evolved for running. Because at the first opportunity after discovering we were on a date with a zombie, we ran away. With a chance at heroic redemption upon hitting the street we ... chose to run away again. It's good being stuffed!

Not the Celica! Anything but the Celica!

What'll it be, folks? We are a bunny, after all, so you'd think we have a decent chance of bobbing and weaving our way into the car. On the other hand, I bet our fur stains easily, either from zombie drool or crapping ourselves in terror.

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("Zombocalypse Now" copyright ©2009 by Matt Youngmark. You can buy this great book for your very own here and I highly encourage you to do so. I did, and believe me, you're going to want to experience the full story in a way these samples simply cannot.)

Stuffing the bunny, if you know what I mean

Have you ever been a stuffed bunny out on a date when suddenly you realize your companion is a brain-lusting zombie? I think we all have, because in addition to the horrors of dating many of us started our latest Choose Your Own Adventure last week with "Zombocalypse Now"!

When last we left our intrepid Velveteen Lothario, we were deciding whether to try and stick it out with our date or flee to the bathroom. In the finest Lone Wolf tradition, we cut and run:

Ah, the age-old CYOA conundrum, whether to flee for help or stay and fight. Luckily we don't have an irritating "Try and dodge the oncoming biker truck" skill and you haven't had to rely on your friendly neighborhood blogger to roll any dice. It's just pure intellectual brainpower ... oh crap. We're hosed.

Have at it, my little duckies, make your choice and defend yourself in the comments.

I wonder what horny stuffed bunnies shout as they charge into battle with the undead?

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("Zombocalypse Now" copyright ©2009 by Matt Youngmark. You can buy this great book for your very own here and I highly encourage you to do so. I did, and believe me, you're going to want to experience the full story in a way these samples simply cannot.)

"Zombocalypse Now", now!

It's time for a new Choose Your Own Adventure adventure, choosers! For this installment we're going to put ourselves in the life of a stuffed rabbit trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.

So buckle your seat belts, kids, it's time for braaaaains!

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