Category Archives: Challenges

New Contest: Patriotic Hero Person

I am willing to bet one full-color professional illustration that you are a better super-hero costume designer than Jim Valentino, who in 1992 gave us Major Victory from "Guardians of the Galaxy":

guardians-20-cover.jpg

Like most patriotic heroes, he sucks. From the knee-high red boots with badge-encrusted knee pads (planning on kneeling much, Major?) to the shield, the awful headband, and -- last but certainly not least -- the bizarre sleeveless trench coat, he'd be more aptly named as "Major Derivative".

I think you can do better. Upload your HeroMachine creation to the PhotoBucket group album I've set up (called "PatriotHero") and after one week, I'll pick the best five designs (free registration with PhotoBucket is required). I'll put up a poll for folks to vote on the one they like best, and the winner gets a free custom color illustration by yours truly of whatever they like. I'll even print it out and mail it to you if you want.

The rules:

  1. You can interpret "Patriot Hero Person" however you like, but I'll be judging entries partly based on how well they fit. Note that America isn't the only country that has patriots ...
  2. No more than three entries per person.
  3. The character design must be done in some version of HeroMachine, but you can use any one you like (including the kid-sized one at Shakti Warriors).
  4. Deadline is midnight on Monday, September 29. I'll pick the five finalists and post them on Tuesday the 30th. We'll have one week of voting and then I'll announce the winner.
  5. Character stories / backgrounds are entirely optional, although giving your character a name would certainly seem to be helpful.

If you don't want to sign up for a PhotoBucket account, just email me your submission and I'll take care of it for you. Or you can put a link to it in the comments, and I'll save it to the PhotoBucket group.

Good luck everyone!

Caption Contest 29 Winner!

The winner of Caption Contest 29 is Runt82!

caption29-winner1.jpg

This was a close one, with lots of really good entries. What ultimately pushed Runt82 over the top was trying to imagine what form his breasts would take once the Wonder-Nip Powers were, in fact, activated. The mind boggles. I can honestly say that any one of these Honorable Mentions deserved to win as well, they all are still making me laugh even as I type this:

  • Ian: Shorts…bunching…up…the agony…!
  • Jasper: ā€œSafety word! Safety word!!!ā€
  • The Doomed Pixel: AHAHAHA! Invisible chainsaw!
  • Neil Leslie: But I don’t want to be a superhero! I want to . . . SING!
  • timespike: My eyes are UP HERE, pig!

I think Doomed Pixel was the most creative -- I never would have thought of an invisible chainsaw but it totally fits. Jasper's entry is just sick, which of course I love, and I am always up for a good "shorts binding up on me" joke like Ian's. Neil Leslie clearly knows I am a sucker for Monty Python. And timespike's entry is just very, very funny and ironic. Great job, everyone!

Runt82 wins his (or her) own custom black and white illustration of whatever s/he likes. Check back later today for your chance to win!

Contest 27 Prize: Birdhawk

DJ and I have finished his prize for winning Caption Contest 27, a Native American character he calls "Birdhawk":

birdhawk2.png

You've got one more day to enter Caption Contest 29 and win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like, so get busy!

Contest 26 Prize: The Mighty FishDuck!

Evil Midnight Lurker and I have completed his prize for winning Caption Contest 26. Based entirely on his own imagination and in no way modeled on any current cartoon character owned by a major prone-to-litigation company, here's The Mighty Fishduck!

fishduck5.png

Thanks again to EML and Mighty God King for helping out with that contest. If you want to win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like, head over to Caption Contest 29: Shiver Me Nips going on right now!

Caption Contest 28 Winner

The winner of Caption Contest 28 is Loki!

contest28-winner.jpg

I only saw two other Honorable Mention entries:

DJ:

1.(BG)ME WANT CANDY NOW!
2.(Head)I AM NOT A PEZ DISPENSER!

I like this one because I can see it happening in an actual comic book. Plus, comparing him to a Pez Dispenser really makes me want to see what comes out when you squeeze him.

Frankie:

Big guy: ā€œStay back! Don’t come any closer. I’m not afraid to use this!ā€
Head guy: ā€œUm…Bang!? Bang!?? I don’t know.ā€

And this one I like because it makes me think about how ridiculous all of these shape-changing stretch-guys are, and wonder why they don't get into situations like Frankie describes more often.

I was late posting the winner due to my NYC trip, so Caption Contest 29: Shiver me nips! is going on now, with your chance to win your very own custom black and white illustration just like Loki!

Caption Contest 29: Shiver me nips!

Come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this comic book panel and win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like from professional comic book illustrator Jeff Hebert!

caption29.jpg

Leave your entry or entries (no more than three) in the comments below before Tuesday, September 23 for your chance to win. Try to keep it clean if you can, which may not be all that easy given what he's wearing over those man-boobs.

Good luck to everyone!

Contest 25 Prize: Spiritech-Zero

The prize for Caption Contest 25 is done, and we're happy to bring you SpiriTech0! The description Jose sent was:

His codename is Spiritech-Zero. He is an armored psychic warrior. A psychosis prevents him from remote-viewing, so he's a hands-on kinda guy. He wears modern military fatigues, helmet, and equipment belt with holstered pistol. His armor consists of spiked gloves and shoulder pads. A striped mask, knee-protecting boots, simple breastplate, and techno-wings for shields complete the armor. He wields a polearm with a crystal at the end through which he focuses his energy. He's a paranormal mix of military tech and mystical knowledge.

And after much tweaking, we arrived at the following illustration:

Want to win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason)? Put on that Funny Cap and head over to Caption Contest 28, going on now!

Caption Contest 28: Pop pop pop that big ol' zit

Put on your Funny Hats, folks, because it's time once again for the HeroMachine "Win A Free Custom Illustration" Caption Contest! Your challenge for this week is to come up with the best, funniest dialog for this panel:

jle-40-squeeze.jpg

If you do, you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason) by professional artist Jeff Hebert! OK, that's me, but it sounds better if I refer to myself in the third person. The rules are:

  1. No more than three entries per person;
  2. Keep it clean, something that would get past the censors for a broadcast TV sitcom for instance only, you know, actually funny;
  3. Make your entry in the comments to this post.

That's it! Oh, since there are two dialog balloons in this one, be sure to indicate which line goes with which, like so:

Big Guy: I will love him and pet him and I will call him George!
Pimple Guy: Why did we let Steinbeck write a comic book?!

Now get busy with the funny!

Caption Contest 27 Winner!

The winner of Caption Contest 27 is ... second time victor DJ!

caption27-winner.jpg

DJ becomes just the second two-time winner, along with xStacy, so congratulations are definitely in order to him. Well done, sir!

The other honorable mentions last week were:

  • Bael: Teach YOU to wear a nipple ring to a gun fight.
  • Patrick: ... and that’s for ā€œYoungblood!ā€
  • Loki: DO NOT. MAKE FUN. OF THE HEAD WINGS!

I should be posting the next contest in just a little bit, so check back soon for your chance to win your very own custom illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert!

Caption Contest 26 Winner!

The Mighty God King has spoken (perhaps in consultation with Rex the Wonder Dog, perhaps not, he's not saying) and has chosen Evil Midnight Lurker as the winner of Caption Contest 26!

caption26-winner.jpg

The other entries that made me personally laugh out loud were:

  • John D: Wait!! i’m not part of the seafood platter!
  • Frankie: And here I thought blowing up a barrel of fish would be easier than shooting them.
  • Jev: This is not my beautiful vault, these are not my beautiful coins!
  • Syzyx: Water off a duck’s back? Sure. But the fish still hurt.
  • God of Plague: One more cruise like this and I’m gonna be Screwed McDuck.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and to the Mighty God King for guest-judging. Evil Midnight Lurker and I will start working on his or her custom black and white illustration asap -- for your own chance to win, take a shot at "Caption Contest 27: Crack is WHAKT!" going on now!