Caption Contest 29: Shiver me nips!

Come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this comic book panel and win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like from professional comic book illustrator Jeff Hebert!


Leave your entry or entries (no more than three) in the comments below before Tuesday, September 23 for your chance to win. Try to keep it clean if you can, which may not be all that easy given what he's wearing over those man-boobs.

Good luck to everyone!

51 Responses to Caption Contest 29: Shiver me nips!

  1. Xstacy says:

    Get my agent! I was promised the ninja gynecologist role!

  2. Whit says:


  3. Whit says:

    2) I’ll attack you with my, um, champagne bottles…

  4. DJ says:

    1. I SAID I WANTED A TOY!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. John D says:

    1. Thus Playtex Cross-your-heart bra is COMFORTABLE!!!!
    2.i am not an A-CUP!!

  6. John D says:

    3. WHo Watches the Man-Boobs?

  7. Cory says:

    1. WHERE’S MY FALAFEL!?!?!


    3. I should never have posed for this art class, my nose itches.

  8. Rick says:

    1. Yes I’m SURE dammit!
    2. You try pulling these blades without slicin’ a nip!
    3. At least Liefeld’s not drawing me!

  9. AJ says:

    These straps too tight!
    I’m beginning to rethink transvestisism as a career choice.

  10. Frankie says:

    “One day, I shall return from this void. And I’ll have my revenge, for I am Mr. T.”

  11. Frankie says:

    “I’m too sexy for this tunic, too sexy for this mohawk, too sexay, it hurts.”

  12. Ian says:


    2. Oh-h-h-h sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you-u-u-u!

    3. Shorts…bunching…up…the agony…!

  13. DJ says:



  14. Eir says:

    “Shaving the armpits BURNS!!”

  15. RitoruBushi says:

    1) It’s not a cast-iron bra and I am NOT a witch!
    2) NOOOO! I left the iron on AGAIN!
    3) Girl power!

  16. Xstacy says:

    Dimebag lives!

  17. Danny Beaty says:

    1. I just castrated myself!
    2. Where is HeroMachine3?!
    3. SARAH PALIN?!

  18. Runt82 says:

    1) Yahtzee!!!

    2) Wonder-Nip powers activate!!!

    3) I’m supposed to be a Night Elf Mohawk, not a Nip Elf Mohawk!

  19. thejay says:

    My nipples shall destroy you all!!!

  20. Spyguy149 says:

    1. With God as my witness I will never get a purple nurple again!

    2. ARRGH! curse that salesman he said this was the latest in superhero fashion

    3. NOOOO! my bracelets totally clash with my outfit.

  21. Jester says:

    1. But Daddy, I want it NOW!!!


  22. Dude says:

    1. Introducing… The Golden Nipple

    2. My new ablative armor shall save me from my archenemy, Titty Twister

    3. I curse the artist of myself.

  23. Nick says:

    I, Sarah Palin, Have shown my true form HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  24. Jasper says:

    1. “Behold Mis’tar Tee, night elf mohawk fool!

    2. “ROID RAGE!!!”

    3. “Safety word! Safety word!!!”

  25. Loki says:

    I am the god of MAN-BOOBYS!

  26. Loki says:

    in the name of golden bras bat-man!

  27. Loki says:


  28. Jester says:

    3. GAH! These cups have no support and the underwire is digging in! CURSE YOU, BRA-FITTER!!!

  29. jimmy says:


  30. The Doomed Pixel says:

    AHAHAHA! Invisible chainsaw!

  31. Frankie says:

    “Ha, Conan! You’re not the only one who can make it big and be in the Heromachine Caption Contest.”

  32. Zorbas the Awesome says:

    1.And who says Bras are uncofortable? THEY RULE

    2.Curse my stylist! he said man boobs and bras were in now!

    3. How DARE they take advantage of wookie naiveness

  33. JudasFm says:

    Curse these Mutant Penguins and their diabolical Ice-Cube-Down-The-Back machine!

  34. Koffy Girl says:

    1. I shoulda had a V8!!!
    2. I want my baby back, baby back, baaby baack ribs!
    3. oooh… I think I broke a nail!!!

  35. Neil Leslie says:

    1) But I don’t want to be a superhero! I want to . . . SING!

    2) The hills are alive with the sound of . . . carnage!

    3) Aaah! After a good night’s sleep on my Death-o-Pedic mattress, I’m rested, refreshed, and ready to destroy the world!

  36. Jigglypuff says:

    1)I’m REEEEEEEAAAAAADY to Rule THIS realm!!!!

    2)Ohhh the Fresh air energizes me enough for the task I must accomplish… TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!

  37. Jigglypuff says:

    1)I’m REEEEEEEAAAAAADY to Rule THIS realm!!!!

    2)Ohhh the Fresh air energizes me enough for the task I must accomplish… TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!

  38. sam jones says:

    ima punch you wit this fist in particular!

    this is how an ape is!

    i got chu tiny ant thingy!

  39. Coyote says:

    #1: FREE BIRD !!!!!
    #2: BY THE POWER OF GREY SKULL I HAVE THE POWER !!! what you mean that battle cry’s taken?
    #3: you remind me of the babe what babe the babe with the power

    and just for fun #X:in just 7 days i can make you a maaanaan!

  40. HeroComplex says:

    1) you should see my buttom
    2) I am PRI-MADONA

  41. timespike says:

    2)Curse you, costume designer!
    3)My eyes are UP HERE, pig!

  42. Patrick says:

    Leia, you bitch! You stole my look!

  43. Frenzy says:

    “Curse you fowl Teen Magazine! How on earth could t-Bras over Lime-green singlets be “so Hot Right Now”?”

    “Nobody Insults The FEMBOT KING!!!”

    “Now you too can feel the Battle-Cry comfort of ‘Steel-Cups'”


  44. Ballin' Boy says:

    1. Stop making crappy remakes Hollywood .

    2. …and the home of the BRAAAAVE.

    3. They moved back the Harry Potter movie? NOOOO!

  45. The Grizz says:

    YES! I got Jonas Brothers tickets!!

  46. Joe says:

    1. Put up your dukes, Godzilla, your about to be stooge-slapped.

    2. If you want me to wear more flair just RAISE THE DAMN MINIMUM!

    3. But Daddy, I want my licorice now! LICORICE NOW!

  47. Joe says:

    I really should read the other comments before posting. The ‘tantrum’ thing is done to death.

    Tchotchkes rules.

  48. Xstacy says:

    My battle cry shall be…I NEED THE MONEY!

  49. Drew says:

    1.This is Nipples! Sorry i ment Naples.
    2.!@#$% Yea Seaking!!!
    3.I said i Crystal Bra. not Cast Iron!

  50. josh says:

    you can save alot of money on car insurance with geico

  51. the creator says:

    GREEN IS MY COLOR!!!!!!!!!!