Monthly Archives: January 2012

Caption Contest 115: Toofless

Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

Character Contest 80 Winners!

Wow, you all outdid yourselves in our first non-UGO event, Character Contest 80: Wrath! We have a ton of great Finalists to present, so without further ado, here are the ones I thought stood out the most for one reason or another.

No, wait, a few more ados. First, I very much appreciate everyone who takes the time to name their entries properly and to post the direct links. It makes things so much easier.

Second, I believe that dblade is generously starting a new award where he'll randomly select one non-winning Finalist for whom he will do a custom HeroMachine 3 item, which is pretty awesome. Thank you, sir!

Third, I am now in Austin and I start my new job today. I'll be doing my best to keep blog content and administration flowing at its usual pace, but please bear with me during the next week or two as I continue this major life transition.

And NOW with no further ado, your Finalists!

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Jeff never took her to the movies again

(From "Slave Girl Comics" number 1, 1949.)

Extreme Home Makeover, Nazi Edition

(From "Banner Comics" number 3, 1941.)

It's good to be the hero

(From "Banner Comics" number 3, 1941.)

META: Travel

I'll be driving from Durango to Austin today and tomorrow (Thursday and Friday), so I'll be out of touch for the most part. I do have some content scheduled to publish, but don't be alarmed if it takes me a while to get moderated comments approved, etc.

I'll be looking for apartments on Saturday and Sunday, then starting the new job on Monday, so again, posting may be at odd hours.

Thank you for your patience during this extended period of transition!

Cookie never served beans again

(From "Banner Comics" number 3, 1941.)

Fasten your seat belts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride

When last we left our intrepid and tragically incompetent Freeway Warrior, we had decided to raid the short bus for a fan belt, chucking out our trusty altimeter. We better hope we don't find ourselves clinging desperately to the burning skin of a dirigible at any point in this little outing or boy will we be sorry!

That decision leads us to talking. Lots and lots of talking. Because when I think "Adventure", I think endless paragraphs of prose. To whet your appetite, however, we eventually end up here:

So keep reading!

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Urban renewal, super-hero style

(From "The Green Mask" volume 2, number 6, 1946.)

There's a reason you're alone

Our Bad Super-Hero Costume of the Day belongs to a short-lived Golden Age character called "The Lone Warrior":

I hate to get all grammatical on your patriotic self, but you can't call yourself the "Lone" warrior if you have a sidekick. Maybe he thought if he dressed his little buddy up in exactly the same costume (except for the mask -- apparently he doesn't care if his freakishly disproportionate underage assistant gets identified), no one would notice the discrepancy.

Of course he has his own problems in the "secret" identity part of the super-hero gig, since instead of making his insignia part of his costume, he's opted instead for a daring down-to-the-navel plunging neckline revealing the scar-tissue "W" on his chest. Luckily the medical wing of the 1941 Army was too busy to notice the exact same scar-tissue "W" on the chest of their latest recruit, who also was so strong he ripped apart the strength-testing machine. Batman, this guy ain't.

The costume itself looks like he mugged a wrestler on his way home from a really bad party, and I can't help but wonder how the blue sleeves work. Is it a one-piece top with the arms sewn in, or is it an actual wrestling unitard with a bizarre undershirt of some sort?

Either way, I can't tear my eyes away from the huge shield hovering right over his crotch. The colors and the collar and the white belt make it impossible to tear your eyes away from the region. Which might have been his intent, except then I can't -- or won't -- imagine why he'd give his little buddy the same look.

Did I mention the sidekick is actually his brother? Yeah, eww, that's what I said too.