Monthly Archives: July 2011

The Crypt of the Apocalypse! Or not.

In our last episode, our little Lone Wolf had cornered one of the rascally blackguards responsible for waylaying us and stealing our stuff. We re-acquired some of our long-lost coin and the all-important Seal, vital to completing our quest to bring aid to our benighted homeland. After a quick mental accounting, we decided to check out the big tomb in the middle of the square.

Gosh, that was enlightening. It's a good thing the author didn't waste our time with silly stuff like ravening liches or legions of undead skeleton warriors, and instead served up a juicy excerpt from a museum placard. Huzzah!

At this point I, as our tour guide on this little jaunt, had a decision to make. Does it make sense to wait a whole week just to decide which street to go down? I decided "NO" and thus turned to the expedient of a Random Dice Roller to provide us with direction when the choices are basically sort of random like this. Thus, the fates decided that we would head West down Tomb Street. Maybe we'll find more museum placards!

The Gods of Dice decide that we head south:

At last, something new! I don't know about you guys, but screw the dice -- we're going shopping!

Oh my, apparently thievery is a way of life in this charming little burg. I wonder if this minnow is related to the sharks who beat us up and stole our stuff?

On the other hand, maybe he's just a poor waif heavily put upon by this lawless environment, trying to make his way the best he can in a cold and cruel world.

So what'll it be, do we a) rat out the little fink, b) follow him outside and improve his moral education by graphically demonstrating how much it hurts to have your stuff stolen, or c) pretend nothing happened (which we're good enough at now to practically turn into a Kai Discipline)?

[polldaddy poll="5214930"]

HM3: Dinoriffic!

I've just uploaded a new set of items for HeroMachine 3, Companion-Dinosaurs. Why dinosaurs? Because they're cool! Of course, while I think they're cool, I don't actually know anything about them. So if I have left out some that absolutely have to be there, please let me know.

Here's the set as of initial launch:

Enjoy!

Face!

The always awesome Zyp has graciously put together a brief guide on how you can create incredible looking faces in HeroMachine 3 just like he does! I've always been impressed with the dimensionality and personality he gets into his characters, and really appreciate his sharing his secrets with us. Thank you, Zyp!

By which I mean, this artist sucks

(From "Fantastic Comics" number 6, 1940.)

META: Hall of Fame

I have always been frustrated with my inability to get a proper "Hall of Fame" type of page going where you could see all sorts of awesome characters in one place.

As of today, that frustration is history! If you click on the teaser ad up there in the banner labeled "Featured Character", you will now be taken to the HeroMachine Hall of Fame.

Plus, that little widget is now randomized, so every time the page is reloaded you should see a new character featured there. Neat, hunh?!

Stardust falling

From the pages of the truly awful "Fantastic Comics" number 6 (published in 1940, I grant you, when apparently anatomy had not yet been invented), we find the sartorial splendor of the stellar sorcerer himself, Stardust!

From the splash panel, you might just think he's a gray-leotard-wearing buy with a bad belt, but take a closer look:

Apparently, after stopping the interstellar profiteers, he raided their wives' panty drawers. Or maybe it's a loincloth, perhaps the one owned in secret by Bozo the Clown. Either way, I'm having a hard time understanding how you leave the house in the morning thinking "This polka-dot number looks good!"

You know what would make a polka dot apron/loin cloth/pair of women's panties look even better, though? That's right, leggings with toes sewn in!

I have several theories on how such a person might come to be dressed this way. First, he could be so alien his fashion sense is beyond human understanding. Second, he could be color blind. Third, like all too many geeks, he could simply be utterly oblivious to what it means to dress normally.

However, given this panel:

No genius-level galactic geek, whether human or alien, is going to misspell "Scientist". Not. Gonna. Happen.

Therefore we're going with "Color blind" and calling this one done, Mister Super Wizard!

Spaceflight, yes. Doorknobs, no.

(From "Fantastic Comics" number 6, 1940.)

Poll Position: Wonderful toys

With a hearty tip-o-the-cowl to The Great Batman Equipment Archive, I present to you the opportunity to choose from the Master of the Cool Gadget's collection of goodies for your very own personal use:

{democracy:190}

Quick, to the Bat Argument Room!

Continue reading

It reads “HUNK” at twelve o’clock!

(From "Fantastic Comics" number 6. No date, but I'm guessing 1939?)

Caption Contest 102

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!