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(From "Fantastic Comics" number 10, 1940.)
Comments Off on Random Panel: The Playboy Club hits rock bottom
Posted in Daily Random Panel
Like a giddy country girl shopping in the big city for the first time, our little Lone Wolf cub dithered long and hard at the checkout counter over which two items to add to his inventory as his reward for nabbing a would-be thief. The backpack was a no-brainer, since without it we can't carry anything else, but the second item was a matter of fierce internal debate. Rope or food, food or rope? I bet at the last minute it occurred to Kai that perhaps the rope was hemp, and if he got too hungry he could smoke it, thus causing him to stop caring.
Regardless, we bundle up our thirty feet of coiled heaven into our spiffy new backpack and head out.
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Posted in Lone Wolf: Fire on the Water
(From "Uncanny X-Men" number 150, ©Marvel Comics.)
Comments Off on Not-so-great moments in abrupt plan changes
Posted in Daily Random Panel
Today I am pleased (horrified?) to give you what may be the worst costume I have ever seen. In a delicious twist of irony, it is worn by Kitty "Pryde", though after being forced to appear in public like this she probably changed that last name to "Weeping Shame". Witness the devastation, my friends:
I'll give you a moment to recover your eyesight and your sanity.
Better now? OK, off we ... wait, get that bucket in front of you, stat! Phew.
My theory is that this Kitty is actually a twisted alternate-reality love child of Sixties-Era Marvel Girl and Dazzler, whose mutant X-Factor is sartorial suckage. There's just no way an unpowered human could come up with something that bad. I mean, I'm counting eight colors in this outfit, and not one -- not one out of eight! -- is good. From the metallic gold unitard to the spoiled-tomato red to the actinic blue to the baby-vomit green, it's a non-stop chromatic assault on the eyes.
In fact, so thorough is the awfulness that I I bet those lime-green shorts are made of parachute material so the constant shush-shush sound they make with every step can irritate even the unsighted. When you go to that much effort to offend the senses, you don't want to leave anyone out.
If you can get past the ghastly colors (and if you can, you deserve a medal), you realize the actual item choices themselves are even worse. Thigh-high leg warmers? In three-color stripes? Capped by neon-yellow and blue roller skates?! That's so hideous I believe it caused a ripple in the time-space continuum, sending reverberations into the future, engendering a subconscious gag reflexive response resulting in the proliferation of leather spike-heeled thigh boots (see Frost, Emma).
So that's one positive thing to come out of this, I suppose.
And why the hell does Kitty Pryde -- whose power is to become immaterial, I remind you -- have lightning bolts streaking down her odd scoop-necked vest? Can you think of anything less stealthy than lightning bolts?
Not that she's sneaking up on anyone in that costume, of course. Insubstantial or not, I think even the walls would reject someone dressed like that from coming anywhere near them, much less passing through.
(Today's Bad Super Hero Costume comes to us by way of reader Aren, who I both thank and curse for showing it to us. The image is, of course, ©Marvel Comics. Though I bet they wish they didn't have to claim this one.)
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Posted in Bad Super Costumes
(From "Fantastic Comics" number 10, 1940.)
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Posted in Daily Random Panel
We return once again to our "Versus" series, this time pitting two of the best-known robotic leaders in comics. One is dedicated to pure evil and destruction, while the other is a noble defender of goodness. And also a truck. The question facing you today, intrepid intellectual, is:
First, let's examine Ultron. He has an adamantium shell, hypnotic powers, "a genius intellect, a capacity for creative intelligence and self-repair, superhuman cybernetic analytical capabilities, and the ability to process information and make calculations with superhuman speed and accuracy" (from the Wikipedia entry). Unfortunately, his personality is based on the brain of Henry Pym, the biggest loser in the Marvel Super Hero Pantheon. As evidence, he once created a robot bride with the brain of Mockingbird. Mockingbird! And has been defeated by the West Coast Avengers at least once. How he had the cajones to show his face at the annual Super Robot Villain convention that year, I'll never know.
On the opposite side we have Optimus Prime, the noble and powerful leader of the Autobots. In addition to his massive durability, strength, and intelligence, Optimus Prime contains within himself the Matrix artifact, which gives him the awesome acting ability of Keanu Reeves. No, wait, wrong Matrix -- which gives him the power to do whatever the writers need him to do at any particular point. Plus he has a laser gun that goes pew pew. However, his "super power" is to turn into a Mac truck. With flames pointed on the side. That's right, he's a big, smelly, gas-guzzling long-hauler who usually has a fat bald guy with back hair (hey now, that could be me I'm talking about!) sitting in his lap. Not exactly intimidating.
So who would win in a fight between these two titanic titanous titans of titanosity? Would Ultron's concussive blasts and impenetrable skin be a match for Optimus Prime's centuries of experience in warfare and alien technology? Would the universe collapse into a singularity in an all-out acting war between Keanu Reeves and Shia LaBeouf?
Only you can resolve the conundrum, my friend! So chime in and let us know who you think would win, and why!
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Posted in Versus
(From "Fantastic Comics" number 10, 1940.)
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Posted in Daily Random Panel
With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:
The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).
All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!
This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!
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Posted in Caption Challenges, Challenges
First, I am math illiterate and so accidentally numbered the "Cancer Zodiac Contest" as number 67, when in fact it was 68. Oops.
Second, bald guys rule.
Third, thanks to all the folks who entered what was a very difficult character contest week! I know this was a tough one to deal with and I appreciate your creativity. As usual, I've selected a handful of submissions that I thought stood out in some way, and then at the end I will announce the overall winner, who will receive their choice of a hand-drawn item by yours truly.
Now, here are your Finalists!
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Posted in Challenge Favorites, Challenges, Character Design Challenges
(From "Fantastic Comics" number 10, 1940.)
Comments Off on Random Panel: That explains the horrible costume
Posted in Daily Random Panel
Three middle-aged nerds (including yours truly!) review all of the MCU movies in chronological order. Short, funny, and full of good vibes, check it out and let us know what you think!
Nerdmudgeon.com