Stuffing the bunny, if you know what I mean

Have you ever been a stuffed bunny out on a date when suddenly you realize your companion is a brain-lusting zombie? I think we all have, because in addition to the horrors of dating many of us started our latest Choose Your Own Adventure last week with "Zombocalypse Now"!

When last we left our intrepid Velveteen Lothario, we were deciding whether to try and stick it out with our date or flee to the bathroom. In the finest Lone Wolf tradition, we cut and run:

Ah, the age-old CYOA conundrum, whether to flee for help or stay and fight. Luckily we don't have an irritating "Try and dodge the oncoming biker truck" skill and you haven't had to rely on your friendly neighborhood blogger to roll any dice. It's just pure intellectual brainpower ... oh crap. We're hosed.

Have at it, my little duckies, make your choice and defend yourself in the comments.

I wonder what horny stuffed bunnies shout as they charge into battle with the undead?

[polldaddy poll="6042127"]

("Zombocalypse Now" copyright ©2009 by Matt Youngmark. You can buy this great book for your very own here and I highly encourage you to do so. I did, and believe me, you're going to want to experience the full story in a way these samples simply cannot.)

On purpose?!

(From "Blue Bolt" number 8, 1941.)

Games as costumes

You might think the new movie "Battleship" represents some appalling new direction in "creativity", as it builds an entire movie on a game you used to play when you were five years old. But basing lousy ideas on games you used to like as a child with no relevance to the new medium is not a recent innovation. Oh no, my friends. For instance, there's Marvel's character "Quantum" who at one point based his visual identity on the game of "Jacks":

I do like the unintended(?) side-effect that if the jack was just a bit larger, all of his naughty bits would be covered. Then they could dispense with all other clothing, change him to a her, and have every single other super-heroine outfit!

Regardless, if you take the ill-advised creative direction of designing based on old games, and you're an adult male running around in spandex, you probably shouldn't go with a game that involves getting "picked up". I'm just sayin'.

World Domination from the comfort of your bed

(From "Blue Bolt" number 8, 1941.)

Godzilla vs. Aliens. Who wins?

One has atomic laser breath, huge size, and thick armored skin. The other has acidic saliva and a penchant for impregnating any living thing with its progeny. Can you imagine a Godzilla Xenomorph? Get Hollywood on the line, stat!

Obviously, part of this fight has to depend on numbers. If it's one alien versus Godzilla, then the alien loses. If we're talking a host of aliens swarming through the city then it might be more dicey. Since their saliva can cut through the most advanced metals future humanity has devised, I wouldn't be surprised if it also could harm Godzilla.

On the other hand, atomic laser breath.

So which is it, HeroMachine Nation? Who would win an epic battle between these two horror movie staples?

[polldaddy poll="6034994"]

(Image via.)

Character Contest 85: Sci-Fi Dungeoneering

I'm skipping the Blank Caption Contest this week for a variety of uninteresting reasons, and instead want to run a more open-ended character design joint.

Your challenge this time out is to create a science-fiction version of a "standard" D&D style archetype. So you might do a "Sci-Fi Ranger" or "Sci-Fi Dwarf" or "Sci-Fi Sorcerer" or "Sci-Fi Mapper" or "Sci-Fi Kobold". It's up to you, but the goal is to translate something familiar from the fantasy genre into space. Like this guy:

The rules are the same as usual:

  • All entries must be in JPG or PNG form (BMPs are too big), posted to a publicly accessible website (like ImageShack, PhotoBucket, the UGO Forums, whatever);
  • Entries must be made as a comment or comments to this post, containing a link directly to the image and the character name;
  • The image cannot have been used in any previous HeroMachine character design contest;
  • Please name your files as [your name]-[character name].[file extension]. So DiCicatriz, for instance, would save his "Bayou Belle" character image as DiCicatriz-BayouBelle.png.
  • Please make the link go directly to the image (like this) and not to a hosting jump page (like this). If you see "preview" or "rotate" somewhere in the link you're probably doing it wrong.
  • All entries must be in by next Monday, when I'll choose a winner.

The person with the winning entry as selected by our expert panel (i.e. me) will win their choice of a) a portrait to go in HeroMachine 3, b) an item to go in HeroMachine 3, or c) a custom black and white "Sketch of the Day" style drawing (also by me).

No limit again this week, knock yourselves out.

Good luck, everyone!

Character Contest 84 Winners

As you know I'm in a bit of a computer bind this week due to the stolen laptop, so I once again have to make this, unfortunately, more brief than my usual contest finalist write-up.

So I'm going to put all of our excellent Finalist into a grid below. You can click on each one to get the illustrator's name and see the image at full size.

Thanks to everyone who entered and congratulations to our Finalists! As to the overall winner, I'll add that after the gallery ...

Continue reading

Delayed results

Allegedly I am getting my replacement computer today. As you can expect, results of the contest will be delayed as judging without an actual computer is a bit difficult. Thank you for your patience and as always, my apologies.

"John Carter" mini review

I just got back from seeing "John Carter" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Several great chase/fight scenes, an excellent framing device, spot-on acting, and excellent editorial choices in the script made for a fun, engaging, quite thrilling adventure. I think Mr. Burroughs would be proud if he could see it.

Also, seeing the Avengers trailer in IMAX 3D was so awesome it made me weep.

Stand by for this important announcement from Giant Man's Crotch!