A new adventure!

We bid a fond farewell to the stuffed-bunny-zombie and super-hero hijinks of the last few sessions, and embark today on a brand new adventure. This time, we're going ... ABOVE THE WAVES!

Above The Waves by Zachary Carango

Terror of the Skies
Even after decades, the dreaded pirate known only as Kurtz still terrorizes travelers on the southern sea. An unknown for most of his life, Kurtz exploded onto the scene when he turned to a life of murder. Using a modified military-grade aircraft, Kurtz has robbed and killed thousands. Though pirates have always been common, Kurtz's daring and brutality sets him apart from the multitude. Unlike other bandits, who rely on sheer force of numbers, Kurtz flies only with a small band of devoted followers. Thanks to this limited membership, along with the fact that he only attacks at night, Kurtz has evaded capture. The world has chugged along despite his efforts, but Kurtz remains a very real threat. The blood he's spilt could stain the very ocean, and more lives are claimed every month. Even as his death toll rises, many search for Kurtz. Whether for bounty, justice, or fame, these brave souls search for a true demon.

Your Background is your history up to the start of the adventure. Select one of the three choices below:

The Debtor - You have never shied from a challenge nor let an opportunity slip by. As a result of your drive, you have taken loans from some less than reputable characters. If you could only make one big score, those debts would disappear.

The Vendetta - Your pride has earned you some powerful enemies. Maybe once you have earned the respect of the world these grudges will be forgiven.

The Wanderer - You have drifted for most of your life. Only travel can soothe your restless heart. The world may be your oyster, but at the moment you haven't a penny to your name.

Quick, simple, easy, just the way I was in high school. What could be better?!

[polldaddy poll="6401867"]

Is it getting warm in here?

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 7, 1941.)

Look, it's Copyright Infringement Man!

In the world of advertising and design, two groups inspire more fear than even the Mob or the Legion of Doom -- the Girl Scouts of America and the International Committee of the Red Cross. Those people must have a thousand man-eating mutant mind sharks dressed up as attorneys on staff, because if you produce anything even remotely like their logos, they will be on you like The Biggest Losers on the last Twinkie in the package.

Which means you have to give this Golden Age hero a medal for bravery:

You see, your honor, that's not a red cross on his chest, it's a red seal. You can tell because it's in his name, see? No?

Fine, if you won't take that as definitive proof of his courage, let's just focus on the fact that he's willing to go out in public dressed that way. That ginormous chest medallion is so fly I can't even stand it, but the real clincher in this ensemble is the combination of suspenders and Speedos. That's a look you just can't get enough of, Mr. Middle-Aged European Beach Walker. It's like the Beverly Hillbillies and Errol Flynn had a love child raised in the South of France. "Go away or I shall taunt you with my pallid longshanks a second time!"

Is this already the most random Bad Costume review to date? I report, you decide!

(Image from "Target Comics" volume 2, number 6, 1941.)

But to his chagrin, it turned out to just be a can of beans

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 7.)

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

We're going old-school DC vs. Marvel in this week's matchup, featuring two of the most powerful female heroes in each universe:

Each character has had a somewhat hit-or-miss history. Wonder Woman's had her powers taken away, been dressed up in a white bell bottom pantsuit, tied up and spanked by pretty much everyone, gone from passive secretary to mighty goddess and back again, and more. She-Hulk's gone from a joke to a lawyer to a pinup bikini model to the most fearful creature in the Marvel Universe.

In her private life, Wonder Woman is a princess, though I bet she's the only one with bullet-deflecting bracelets. In her private life, She-Hulk's a lawyer. I know which one of those *I* am more scared of.

At the meta level, Wonder Woman is one of the Big Three at DC, while She-Hulk's always been more of a sideline.

In terms of powers, I'd probably give She-Hulk the edge in strength since that's sort of her thing, but Wonder Woman is a trained warrior with the power of strength, toughness, and flight.

At the end of the day I'll go with the more popular character and say Wonder Woman would win an all-out brawl between the two. But what do you think>

[polldaddy poll="6396406"]

Wrapping up a plot old-school style

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 6, 1941.)

Caption Contest 125

I'm announcing a major change in the way contests work here on HeroMachine.com: I will not be offering custom items, portraits, or sketches of the day as prizes for the foreseeable future.

Instead, each week I'll put together a list of "Personal Favorites" from all the submissions, and then I'll select one as "Jeff's Favorite". That person will be the "Featured Creator of the Week" in the sidebar.

I've got to stop adding items to the program for a while so I can focus on doing the Left-Right conversions and get to a stable beta, so I can start selling it for those who want to download it. That doesn't mean I won't ever add new items, I just need to put that on hold for a while so I can hit the next milestone.

Having said that, it's time for another new Caption Contest! Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel (which comes to us courtesy of the always awesome Glenn3's "Say What?" PhotoBucket site):

I'll pick out some as my personal favorites to highlight in a post next Monday, and then I'll choose one of those to bear the standard as the "Featured Creator of the Week" atop the right tool bar.

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit to entries, but please, self-edit and only put up ones you genuinely think are good!

Character Contest 95 Results

We had a huge turnout for Character Contest 95, wherein you were challenged to come up with a character based on a country that was not the United States. We received 237 entries from sixty different people. Amazing! And the quality was stellar as well. In fact, I went ahead and uploaded all of the entries so you can have the same joy in viewing them as I did. Just click any one of the thumbnails below to start a slideshow of the whole set.

Continue reading

How to Win Friends and Influence People

(From "Target Comics" volume 2, number 7, 1941.)

META: Winning

I'm considering changing contests up around here so that there is no one "winner". I'll still pick out a handful of what I consider to be my favorites, but I won't single out one to receive a prize.

I think people are getting too hung up on that one thing, when in reality anyone who enters is a winner. And once there's just a handful of Finalists left, the selection of one person is pretty arbitrary. I mean, it's just my subjective opinion.

Thoughts?