Author Archives: AFDStudios

HM3: Houston, we have spandex

I’ve now added a set of “LegwearMaleSpandex” items to the HeroMachine 3 Alpha. Enjoy! Holler if there are spandex variations you’d like to see. I’m thinking I should probably include at least the flying-type full-length leggings too.

Random Panel: Scenes not destined to be After-School Specials

wonder-comics-3-1944-shoes

HM3: We got pantsed

I’ve just updated the HeroMachine 3 Alpha with the “LegwearMaleStandard” set of items. All of the basic items from HeroMachine 2.0’s Pants set are there, plus a bunch. Some of the more esoteric suggestions from the last thread will have to wait for specialized sets, but I’ve got them written down. I wanted to get the basics in first. Holler if you see anything egregious missing.

I hope you like them! Just as a teaser, here’s a set of four items from the HeroMachine 2.0 Pants-Standard genre side-by-side with their new versions in the HeroMachine 3.0 LegwearMaleStandard set:

legwear-comparison

Random Panel: How to spot a potential Boy Wonder

wonder-comics-1-1944-sock

(From “Wonder Comics” number 1, 1944.)

Reason #7: He breaks women

Goodness knows I don’t have any room to talk on this subject since I can’t draw women to save my life, but no one ever said you have to be able to “do” in order to “criticize”. With that out of the way, let me say that reason number seven I hate Rob Liefeld’s art is that he can’t draw women to save my life, either.

We all know by now that he can’t draw feet. So when it comes to drawing women‘s feet, well, it’s like a perfect storm of suckage:

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Random Panel: Fridays need boner jokes

gotham-boner

(h/t, as always with out-of-context archaic boner and gay panels, to SuperDickery.com.)

HM3: Calling all pants

I am currently drawing new Pants for HM3 (to be known as “Legwear”). Post any requests you have for pants-like items.

HM3: Webs

Thanks to subtle reminders, I’ve added a dark and a light web pattern to the HM3 Alpha. I also changed the interface so that when you delete an item in a slot, you stay in that slot.

Random Panel: The latest from the Texas evolution-creationism debates

wonder-comics-1-1944-realscience

(From “Wonder Comics”, number 1, 1944.)

Why isn't it ever "Hero Guy the Honky"?

This week’s installment of Bad Super Hero Costumes focuses more on the broader issue of Black guys who are super-heroes, and why they always have to have “Black” in their name. It’s never “Superman the White” or “Batman the Pasty”, although I’ll have to go ahead and give you Gandalf the Gray. But dude was hanging out with hobbits, you know, the racial thing just doesn’t play when you’re worried about Sauron turning everyone into orcs, you know?

Which brings us to “Vykin the (of course) Black”:

vykin-the-black

First of all, from a purely sartorial standpoint, he looks like an idiot. He’s wearing athletic socks. Blue athletic socks. That’s just not cool, especially after middle school’s over. Take in the matching sweatbands and the skull-sucking awesomeness of an old-school leather football helmet dipped in avocado and you’ve got yourself a fashion disaster.

But that’s not the worst thing.

It’s not as bad, for instance, as having one Black guy on the team and sticking him with “The Black”. We can see he’s Black, do you have to point it out right in his name? If he were working for The White Queen, maybe, but that’s a totally different title and the connotations are different, so don’t try to get smart with me. And yes, to their credit Marvel did drop “The Black” in later years.

But that’s not the worst thing.

I can forgive blue athletic socks, even though it pains me. I can forgive the subtle racism of his moniker. But what I can’t get past is that they a) put him in a lawn ornament pose and b) gave him the job of carrying the team’s m—– f—ing luggage! Yes, the main job of the only Black guy on the team was as follows, and I quote:

“It is Vykin who carries the Forever People’s Mother Box.”

Let’s all just have a moment of silence to be thankful that the Sixties and Seventies are over, folks. At least now they don’t make Black Lightning or Black Mass or the Black Panther carry the team’s bags. That’s just low, man.