How can you look this bad and still call yourself French?

I find it hard to put into words how bad Dumas's costume is, so I'm just going to let it speak for itself:


I can't believe this guy is French. They invented fashion, and this is the best they can do? On further reflection, of course, you begin to realize that while the character is French, the person who actually designed him was almost surely American.

No wonder they hate us.

I have to ask a few questions though, like why does he have a white fur stole stapled to his head? Can he sit down without those gigantic hip spikes destroying the chair? What's going to pop out of that big ring hanging down over his crotch? How does he raise his right arm over his head? And why are his greaves on backwards?

Oh, wait, he's French -- he's probably running away a lot, so it makes sense to protect the backs of his legs.

I don't think I'm exactly helping Franco-American relations here. I'd better quit before I say something really offensive, like wondering if French cuisine was the inspiration for this outfit's "rotten pea-soup green and stinky moldy cheese-yellow" color scheme.

Aaaaaaaaand we're done. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

(Character and image © DC Comics, Inc.)