In 1982, Daryl Hall and John Oates (the Ren and Stimpy of the early 80’s pop music scene) recorded a classic song called “Maneater”. In 1993, Jack Kirby turned that fabled duo’s musical masterpiece into visual form:

Let’s mediate for a moment on that epic song’s lyrics and reflect on how perfectly this character’s non-outfit embodies it:

She’ll only come out at night
The lean and hungry type
…
The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar
…
Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she’ll chew you up
Oh here she comes
Shes a maneater
…
I wouldn’t if I were you
I know what she can do
Shes deadly man, and she could really rip your world apart
…
Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she’ll chew you up
Oh here she comes
Shes a maneater

I cannot imagine a more apt depiction of a “Maneater” than a woman with fang-tipped skulls at breasts and groin. And just look at the seductive evil of her disco-dancing pose; clearly this lady is one wicked customer.

Or maybe she’s just misled. Maybe she ordered some edible panties, not realizing that in fact the panties eat you. At least you can be sure that’s the last time she buys from “Vlad’s of Hollywood”.

(Image and character ©1993, Jack Kirby. Song lyrics ©1982 Hall & Oates.)

When the “Iron Man” movie was first announced, I got so excited I put together an image of Robert Downey Junior in the red and gold because I just couldn’t wait to see it for real:

Now that the movie is almost released, I still can’t hardly wait. I don’t usually get too excited about super hero movies, as I usually figure they’re going to suck, but the pending debut of ol’ shell-head has me really pumped. In fact, after the very first teaser trailer came out last year, I put together this image of Iron Man on a motorcycle. With flames. And holding a gun. Why? Because he’s Iron Man, that’s why, now quit asking questions! A nerd in full-on geek mode has nothing to answer for, so nyah.

A friend of mine, Rob Rogers, has written what looks to be a very entertaining super-hero novel called “Devil’s Cape”, and you can now read the first chapter for free at Uberworld! I’ve followed along with a number of Play By eMail Champions campaigns Rob has put together and he’s a great writer. I highly recommend pre-ordering “Devil’s Cape” from Amazon, and/or asking about it at your local comics or book store. It looks to be a great read, and it’s always a good thing to help out a fellow geek. Take a look at the preview chapter and then get busy ordering!

Here’s what comics writer Greg Rucka had to say about “Devil’s Cape”:

There is NO WAY that this is Rob Rogers’s first novel. This is a novel replete with the rewards of a lifetime of training, effort, and passion. Devil’s Cape is a mesmerizing, seductive, and darkly moving piece of fiction that seamlessly, even gracefully, marries tactile reality with myth and magic to bring its own pulsating world to life. Beyond expectations, full of surprises, singing with resonance and emotion, Rogers has written a novel that first stabs the superhero genre in the back, then flips the body over and shocks it back to exhilarating life. What arises from this crime scene is a post-modern delight. Take the tour of Devil’s Cape—I guarantee you’re going to like it here!

Here’s hoping for “Devil’s Cape: The Movie” some time soon, once the novel hits the bestseller list! If you’re looking for a good, gripping, super-hero novel to read during break, you should definitely check it out either via pre-order or once it’s officially released on April 1.

Congratulations to Rob and to publisher Wizards of the Coast (for recognizing a great talent)!

Whoever said you couldn’t mix roller skates, ninjas, and disco was an America-hating fool, that’s what I say, for behold the jaw-dropping awesomeness that is … Skate Man!

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In an effort to prove that bad fashion is indeed timeless, in 1996 DC saw fit to introduce yet another incarnation of The Flash (apparently a hundred and eleven super speedsters is just not enough) — scientist John Fox from the year 2645:

His logo and those weird yellow triangles that replaced the wings from the original Flash’s outfit are actually holographic projections that hover a couple of inches off his skin. I hate them. But not as much as I hate the weird jaggedy red vein/lightning bolts running through the blue and black parts of the uniform. It looks like he’s either full of lava, or this close to bleeding out. I also hate his chin strap. I’m not a big fan of those in general, and this one just makes his long, lugubrious face look even more horse-like.

Most of all, though, I hate his huge, bulky, “speed-metal” gauntlets. The beauty of the original Flash costume was its simplicity, with the bold red making the yellow lightning bolt elements really leap out at you. Blue and black don’t convey an impression of speed, and with the red cutting crooked lines through the whole thing, it all looks broken up and clunky. The bulbous gauntlets just make it worse.

Overall, this outfit doesn’t make me think “oooo, speedy!”, it makes me think “oooo, cheap knock-off from the future!” He’s even smooching Wally West’s girlfriend in this image, as if it’s not enough to steal the poor guy’s name, powers, costume logo, city, and MO! I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s also licked Wally’s mouse, worn his underwear, and sat in his sports car while passing gas just to make the thievery complete.

(Image and character ©1996 DC Comics, “The Flash”, #116.)