It's summer, even here on What Were They Thinking? (the place where we look at all of the stupidest, most ill-advised things in all of comics history), so I thought we'd take a break from all of the racism, drugs and rape that we usually cover to chill out for a bit and hang out with some superheroes down at the beach, or by the pool, or even on an alien holiday planet. Yup, we're going back to the 90's and taking a look at the Marvel Swimsuit Specials (because they made 5 of the damn things).
Ok guys, last week I asked you all to come up with the best replacement dialogue for this here panel:
And our top 5 are:
CantDraw: 12:30am…I observe a strange fleshy thing coming out one door and going into a dark hole.
Rekulhs Nathe: Jesus Reed! Just go like the rest of us.
Treasure Hunter: Did I forget to change the roll again?
DiCicatriz: Dammit, Susan! If you and Reed are gonna do that in the house, at least make it invisible!
J3loodT4lon: WHO’S PLAYING WITH THEIR GUM AGAIN?!
And the winner is:
So, last week on What Were They Thinking? (the place where we look at all of the stupidest and most ill-advised things in all of comics history) we talked about the New Guardians, specifically the villain in the first issue of their series, who was a vampire who infected non-caucasian people with AIDS when biting them. However, I also mentioned the villain of the second issue of the New Guardians series in passing as a further example of the series idiocy. Well, in for a penny in for a pound, we might as well take a look at this guy whilst we can, so Ladies and Gentlemen let me introduce you to Snowflame.
Ok guys, time for another caption contest, where you have to come with the funniest replacement dialogue for a random comic panel of my choosing. This week you have to replace the dialogue for this panel:
Everyone can have a maximum of 3 entries, entries must be in by next Wednesday (June 21th) and All Entries Must Be PG-13.
Rarely here on What Were They Thinking? (the place where we take a look at the stupidest, most ill-advised things in all of comic book history) am I actually lost for words about a subject we cover. I've managed to find things to say about Marvel running rape storylines with both victim blaming and the victim falling for the rapist, Frank Miller turning Batman into a child abuser and the Elongated Man into a viagra salesman, and I managed to talk about The Widening Gyre. But this week, I'm exactly sure what I'm going to say, purely because the sheer level of "WHAT THE ACTUAL" is so far off the charts. And surprisingly, we aren't talking about Marvel. Nope, it is back to DC we turn for this week, as we take a look at Hemo-Goblin.
Last week I asked you guys to come up with the best replacement dialogue for this random comics panel:
And my top 5 are:
Franklin: When I signed up for Aperture’s child testing program, I just wanted to make faces at the cameras.
Val: There he goes again…
Franklin: We’re gonna play basketball, right? That’s what the numbers are for?
Val: I’m not playing ‘skins,’ Franklin.
Franklin: I can change reality.
Val: I wish you’d change your face.
Franklin: Do you think I’ll get my own action figure line?
Val: That would give my dog something new to play with.
Franklin: And now, I will do my next impression….
Val: If I was old enough to vote, this wouldn’t have happened….
But, in time honoured tradition, there can only be one winner and that winner is....
Now, I feel I should start this weeks What Were They Thinking? (the place where we take a look at the stupidest, most ill-advised things in all of comic book history) with a caviat. We are talking about a single character this week and not a very long lived one either, with all of this characters appearances taking place in the 1940's. As I am sure everyone is aware, attitudes in the 1940's were quite different to what they are now and that does go some way to explaining why this character is so terrible. However, I am still going to talk about it, because we are not talking about some jingoistic war-time anti-Japanese propaganda (though that is unacceptable as well) or any of the numerous Nazi villains, those are somewhat understandable and, in context of the time, somewhat excusable. This character though, is not. And it happened with all the right intentions as well, which makes it even worse. So, this week, we're going to talk about Fawcett Comics and how they sunk their own Steamboat.
Ok guys, time for another caption contest, where you have to come with the funniest replacement dialogue for a random comic panel of my choosing. This week you have to replace all the dialogue for this panel:
Everyone can have a maximum of 3 entries, entries must be in by next Wednesday (June 7th) and All Entries Must Be PG-13.
Last week on What Were They Thinking? (the place where we look at all of the stupidest, most ill-advised things in comic book history) we looked at the Marvel cycle, where Marvel eroded reader investment in their storytelling by overuse of large scale comic book events to change the status quo of their comics universe only to change the status quo back within a short period of time. This week though, we are looking at Detective Comics Comics Incorperated and their own, equally destructive variation, the DC cycle.
In case anyone wasn't aware, today is the 40th anniversary of the release of the first film in the biggest science fiction film series of all time, one of the biggest film series of all time period. One this day in 1977, Star Wars (later dubbed Episode IV: A New Hope) had its theatrical release in US cinemas. It's hard to overstate the importance of this film, the fact that the franchise is still making billions at the box office with new movies even 40 years after the first film was released says more than any retrospective or analysis ever could.
So Happy Birthday Star Wars. I made you cake, but an Ewok ate it.