While making my way through the Great Random Comic Book Pile, I’ve been struck a number of times by the ads that fill these things. Often these inserts take the form of a comic book, and sometimes (like when reading Rob Liefeld) seeing good art can be a refreshing change of pace.
But it’s always a bit strange to see characters you’re used to knowing in a super-hero context suddenly step a bit out of their usual role to endorse a product and talk directly to you. I can just barely swallow Spider-Man using Hostess Twinkies to capture The Vulture (which is more than I can say for the Twinkies themselves), but sometimes it goes a bit too far, like in this Silver Surfer-themed ad:
See, he’s a surfer, so they have him endorsing a jet ski because both usually are found on water, see, only in this case he’s taking it into space just like when he’s Heralding for Galactus! Which makes you wonder why the kid on the back is wearing a life jacket, of course, and oooh look something shiny! Ads like these are like staring into the sun, you have to look quick and then look away before they blind you.
My biggest question, though, isn’t what good a foam-filled nylon vest is going to do to Little Bobby when Galactus comes looking for his errant herald, it’s what in the hell the winner of the contest is going to do with 1,000 Silver Surfer watches. Is the assumption here that once you win a jet ski, you’ll have thousands of people wanting to be your friend, and by giving each of them a watch you can tell who’s loyal and who’s to be eliminated before the planet gets eaten? Or do they honestly think that your average comic-book-reading kid has a thousand friends to his name? If so, they’ve clearly misunderstood their target audience.
I also can’t wait to see the scene at the local beach/water park/lake resort when Happy Harvey the Jet Ski Winner shows up on his personal water craft emblazoned with a giant Silver Surfer logo. I’d estimate the TTCWI (Time To Complete Watery Immersion) at under 3.5 seconds as the local aqua-bullies pummel him mercilessly before taking his Crocs and throwing him in the drink.
Posted in Super-Hero Stuff
Comments Off on Random Panel: Oooo, choose me, choose me!
Posted in Daily Random Panel
Comments Off on Random Panel: If you're talking to a green guy, you ALREADY have brain damage pal
Posted in Daily Random Panel
Yesterday’s OnomontoPOWia entry will take place today due to my being sucked into some sort of time vortex. I hate it when that happens.
I’ve done a pretty thorough job of plumbing the depths of the suckitude of Rob Liefeld’s “The New Mutants” number 94, but when considering the scope of this man’s craptacularness you can’t limit yourself to sight just because he’s a visual artist. Oh no. Talent this awesomely bad can, through the magic of comics, extend itself into sound as well, I assume so that blind people can be offended by him too.
OK, that was pretty harsh, I withdraw that last comment even though it pains me to use the words “Liefeld” and “draw” in the same sentence.
Anyway, here’s a panel from that issue, with Wolverine retracting his claws so he can beat on Cable with his bare hands. I admit that changing the normal “Snikt” of the claws popping with “Snakt” for them pulling back in is pretty clever, but as usual Liefeld manages to take a good idea and make it worse through sloppiness.
The lettering is uneven at top and bottom, the letter spacing is off, and the color looks like whatever comes out of Stretch Armstrong. I took the liberty of editing out the onomontoPOWia and replacing it with something more modern; granted, Liefeld didn’t have the benefit of computer-assisted lettering, but basic draftsmanship should have enabled him to do a more creditable job than he did.
I also took the liberty of changing the color from a warm pinkish to a cool blue. Partly this is to reinforce the idea that the claws are metal, and partly it’s to set the sound apart from the muddy background of warm browns and oranges.
Rob Liefeld, now offending two of your five senses. And that’s assuming “taste” only has to do with the flavor of your food and not matters of cultural appeal.
(All images and characters from “The New Mutants”, Vol. 1, No. 94, ©1990 Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc. Louise Simonson, writer. Rob Liefeld, penciller. Hilary Barta, inker. Joe Rosen, letterer. Brad Cancata, colorist.)
Posted in I Hate Rob Liefeld's Art, OnomontoPOWia
Comments Off on Random Panel: Comic book story or porn title, you decide
Posted in Daily Random Panel
Posted in Daily Random Panel
The prize for Caption Contest 25 is done, and we’re happy to bring you SpiriTech0! The description Jose sent was:
His codename is Spiritech-Zero. He is an armored psychic warrior. A psychosis prevents him from remote-viewing, so he’s a hands-on kinda guy. He wears modern military fatigues, helmet, and equipment belt with holstered pistol. His armor consists of spiked gloves and shoulder pads. A striped mask, knee-protecting boots, simple breastplate, and techno-wings for shields complete the armor. He wields a polearm with a crystal at the end through which he focuses his energy. He’s a paranormal mix of military tech and mystical knowledge.
And after much tweaking, we arrived at the following illustration:
Want to win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason)? Put on that Funny Cap and head over to Caption Contest 28, going on now!
Posted in Challenge Prizes, Challenges, Cool Characters
Three middle-aged nerds (including yours truly!) review all of the MCU movies in chronological order. Short, funny, and full of good vibes, check it out and let us know what you think!
Nerdmudgeon.com
