SOD.044 – We need more monkeys!

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RP: One stiff Rod, coming up. So to speak.

police-1-1941-stiffrod

(From "Police Comics" number 1, 1941.)

Olympian Games Gymnastics

The ancient Greek Gods have transported some of the most famous and capable super-hero characters from multiple universes to the site of the first ever Olympian Games, pitting the greatest champions ever conceived against each other in comic-book style competition! Hammerknight has tabulated your suggestions and the first event is now under way:

[polldaddy poll="2691073"]

You can vote for up to three characters. Next Friday the votes will be counted, with the top-place finisher getting Gold, second place Silver, and third place Bronze. Make your arguments in the comments as to why you choose who you do, and may the most gymnastically gifted character win!

Many thanks to Hammerknight for thinking up this idea and putting it all together.

SOD.043 – Sluggy

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This may be one of my favorite things I've ever drawn. I giggle every time I see it.

RP: The perfect storm of hand gesture, see-through blouse, and dialog

police-1-1941-beatit

(From "Police Comics" number 1, 1941.)

Sidekicks

(We've got another guest post from Hammerknight this week in his "Comics Talk" series. Many thanks, HK!)

The Dictionary says; 1. a close friend. 2. a confederate or assistant.

Sidekick Application
sidekick-app

But as we all know a Sidekick is more than that. Over the years there have been many Sidekicks paired up with our Comic Book Heroes. Some famous and some not so famous. If you sit down and think about it, how important are Sidekicks, could our Heroes have made it with out them? What does it take to be a Sidekick? Who gets to name them? Where do they come from? How old is a Sidekick? Why are some replaced and others just fade away? Who finds who, the Hero or the Sidekick? And what is up with some of those costumes they wear?

Let’s break it down, first off, ā€œCould our Heroes make it without a Sidekick?ā€, that is a very good question. Yes, there are many Heroes out there that do not have Sidekicks, does that mean that they are better than the ones that do have them? The answer to that is ā€œno.ā€ All Heroes get support from someone, be it a family member, a spouse, a Doctor friend, other Heroes and team mates, and yes even the butler is there for them.

So what, you ask, do Sidekicks do for the Hero they work with that the butler does not? Sidekicks can add that little edge that is needed in a fight. They can help cut the Hero free when the Hero has been captured. They can be the bait for a trap. They can create a diversion to help give the Hero the upper hand. And many other helpful things that a person can do that is right there along side of the Hero in the heat of battle.

What does it take to be a Sidekick? It takes a lot, more than some people will ever know. First off, there are some Heroes out there that are hard to get along with. You have to put up with being the butt of the joke and being comedy relief. Most of the time you have to go to school during the day and fight crime at nights, and that leaves no free time to hang out with your friends. You have to be in just as good of shape as the Hero, if not better, in order to keep up with them. You always have to be one step ahead of the Hero, by thinking like them. What helps this a lot is to
have had a life that is almost just like the Hero’s.

Who gets to name them? The Hero that’s who. You know that the Sidekick has to have a name that goes with the Hero’s name. It just would not be right to have a name that didn’t match. For example, there would be no way Batman would have his Sidekick named Potato Kid, it would not fit at all. So the Hero will more than likely name the Sidekick. This does not mean that the Sidekick will always
get a cool name.

Where do they come from? From all walks of life. For the most part, something has happen to their family and they are taken in by the Hero. Sometimes they are big fans of the Heroes and somehow find out who the Hero really is, leaving the Hero with no choice but to take them on as Sidekick. Being born into the family business is another way. But that doesn’t always mean that both parents are Heroes, in some cases one of the parents has been a Villain, but that doesn’t make them any less of a Sidekick. We all know things happen.

How old is a Sidekick? That can be hard to say. Back in the day they were both young and old. Some would start as a young kid that is taken in by the Hero and trained to fight crime. Others were good friends with the Hero, and sometimes even an old partner from days gone by. You have to ask yourself, how young is to young? For the most part the Sidekicks are like the Hero’s kid, and they won’t let their kid start up if they are not ready to. Would you? Now days you have to think about the laws, what would the Child Protective Service do if they see a Hero out fighting crime with a ten or twelve year old. There would be some trouble. A kid can’t even have a part time job without being over sixteen these days. And to take it in the other direction, how old is to old to be a Sidekick? Does a Hero want their Sidekick to be older then they are? Do you really think you would see someone like Green Arrow having his Granny be his Sidekick? Now nothing against Granny, she could probably out shoot him blind folded, but come on, she has already had her time to shine, let the young ones take over. Besides, she is out kicking it with Grandpa.

Why are some replaced and others just fade away? Over the years there have been Sidekicks replaced by a younger Sidekick. This happens when the first Sidekick has moved up and became a Hero. Where did you think Heroes come from? Or that the first Sidekick has had enough of the business and wants to move on in life. One of the sad ways that a Sidekick is replaced, is when they are injured or sometimes killed in the line of duty. Let’s all take time now and bow our heads to pay respect
to all of the fallen Sidekicks and Heroes that are no longer with us. Okay, some Sidekicks just fade away. There are a lot of reasons why. One of the reasons is that the Hero could not bear to replace them after something has happened to them. Another one, is that they have moved over to the Dark Side. Sorry couldn’t help it, they have become Villains. Not wanting to name names, some have had personal problems, like drug addiction.

Who finds who, the Hero or the Sidekick? It has happened both ways. It makes you wonder sometimes if there is a school out there for both Heroes and Sidekicks. Do they have to apply for the job? Could you see the Application for a Sidekick job? Well I did (in my mind that is) when I started to write these. I was thinking it would be cool to make one up and to share it with everyone.

What is up with some of those costumes they wear? Does the Sidekick supply their own costumes or does the Hero? You know that the costume will have to match, in ways, the Hero’s costume. Makes you wonder if the Hero is looking for a mini version of their costume or just something that will help make their costume look better. Some of the Sidekick costumes yell outā€Hey look at me, I’m a Sidekick.ā€ While others can stand on their own. Would you want a Sidekick’s costume to be a mini version of yours, a stand on it’s own, or one that would compliments your costume? And if you were the Sidekick would you want a say in the matter?

I hope that everyone has enjoyed what I have to say about Sidekicks. I would love to hear what you think, so post some comments and be heard.

Thanks all,
Hammerknight

SOD.042 – Barbarian

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The first version of this drawing blew chunks, so I redid it on the same base sketch. After the jump I've put the original, crappy version, and a quick screencast explaining not just that it sucks, but why.

Continue reading

RP: Why super-heroes aren’t waiters

bulletman-7-1942-salad

(From "Bulletman" number 7, 1942.)

Twisted

The hardest thing about art is knowing when to stop. The second hardest thing about art is trying to do fashion design with industrial grade road painting rigs. The people behind Red Tornado, sadly, learned neither lesson:

redtornado
tornado2

Someone should've stopped earlier with the stripes in honor of Maxim One, because he looks like roadkill via Maxim Two.

The question that has puzzled Super Hero Fashion Philosophers for years has been whether the red on Red Tornado is "flesh" or clothing, because if it's flesh, suddenly the garish yellow stripes are not decorative, but utilitarian, in that they are actually clothing. And not just any clothing, but the only clothing standing between us and a serious case of Naked Robot.

Which in turn makes you realize, queasily, that he's got the worst case of one-strap-thongism this side of a Lady GaGa concert. Seriously, I don't want to know where that groin strap goes. Just ... no.

Given that unsettling concept, we'll opt to believe that in fact the red isn't skin, but some sort of cloth-like covering. Yes, I know, he's basically just a giant toaster oven and thus human norms of sexuality and clothing don't apply, but even toasters should be afforded a little dignity.

That only gives relief from a moral outrage standpoint, however, not from fashion outrage, because the stripes just don't make sense. Not only are there too many of them, but why do the pants stripes go under his briefs? It's a very awkward break. And integrating the chest insignia with the central stripe just adds to the confusion, tying it down instead of making it stand out like a good insignia should.

The whole effect of the striping is to make what should be a character who's all about chaotic twisting and dynamism instead look static and tied down (literally). Lines of consistent thickness and uniform direction serve to stabilize him when that's the exact opposite of what a tornado should be.

OK, let's leave off the stripes for now ... Wait, of course I am kidding. How could I talk about stripes and not deal with that ridiculous arrow on his head? Seriously, look at that thing. It's ludicrous. What is it pointing at? His nose? Are we to assume that his tortured twisting is going to fling off an astounding stream of Red Snot? I have no idea what that thing is supposed to denote, graphically. It's just a big yellow distraction.

Oh, and why do the leg stripes continue through his boots, making the cuffs look like they're just sewn on without being, you know, actual boot tops? I hate that.

Moving on, I also hate his cape. It's way too big for a guy who functions in high winds. Believe me, at my wedding we did an outdoor dance, and my wife's veil (which was nowhere near as voluminous as that gigantic blue number Tornado sports) almost beat me to death. Of course, for some unknown Comic Book Physics reason, only his bottom half rotates, which whatever, but still, the cape goes all the way down. Wouldn't that grab him by the throat and choke him to death? Ha ha, he's an android, he doesn't need air, sucker! Unfortunately.

The black stripe on the cape mirrors the same thickness as the out of control, and yet too-controlled, yellow stripes of the costume, again destroying anything dynamic that might have arisen from the design. Plus it's black. Why black, when there are no other black elements to the costume? Because the rest of the cape is blue, which also doesn't appear anywhere else!

See, thinking about it makes you dizzy, just like you would be in a real tornado! And that is pure, beautiful genius.

Stay twisty, my friends.

(All art and the Red Tornado character are © DC Comics, Inc.)

SOD.041 – Ogregious

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