[Herr D]

Good work man, you even told a background story while setting up the s/prequel/next thingamabob. I am interested in Cap’n Rad.

I can’t get into my inbox to PM you–
“The exact science of it is still a mystery,” says the Handler, “but someone your skin disperses energy without absorbing it.

Did you mean ‘somehow?’

[Herr D]

Yah–nice armor. And good work on the mount. Was that a bear you tigered up?

[Herr D]

“MQR 3.5”
“Why?”
“Marcus of Queensbury rules, third prototype with an upgrade.”
“I don’t get it.”
“The point of the fighting suit is that it won’t allow cheating. So it’s named after one of the most commonly known set of fighting rules.”
“Why no top to the helmet?”
“Because these suits are built to injure so minimally. The opponent’s fist should stop on contact with human tissue. A minor concussion at absolute worst.”
“Ooooooh.”

[Herr D]

[wet clapping sounds between eleven tentacles]

[Herr D]

I’m far from being great at judging wow factor for costumes, but his motto is GREAT. Very quotable.

[Herr D]

Uncontested I soldier on: Next Friday 9:30 EST. These ingredients.

[Herr D]

@Stulte said:

Hah! Awesome!

Thanx.
*******
The Commercial Art Science Team, Ltd., began charging a nominal fee for improving ads very subtly. Instead of merely airbrushing the models and cut-pasting the best features available from every model, they began quantifying to the hair how pictures sold the most product by high-speed camera measuring retinal response.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2014hm/HerrD-CommercialArtScienceTeam_zpsb96af706.png

The following excerpt is reprinted by permission from Hairy Deewon

---

The fact is that women in ads should NEVER look average, be of average build, have any particular flaw that can’t be taken out. Besides that, they should be too thin to survive supporting their mammary glands without being crushed under their own weight and just in general be too idealized to count as human anyway. This IS the digital age. I’m not being sexist, I’m being capitalist.

Remember retinal involvement.

Right! The human retina will sooner notice and focus longer on certain shapes and colors. Those do include the shapes of human genitalia and other favorites, but that’s not all. Taller, thinner shapes, faster moving shapes, shapes moving more directly toward or away–so, on a runway, a taller, thinner model will draw the human eye more successfully. This is exactly the same sort of science that helped the insurance industry realize that small red cars used to get more speeding tickets.

By the almighty dollar, if I’m paying someone too much money to get people to come and buy my stuff, they better not use a big blue car and waste my money!

---

We all want OUR pictures looked at longer.
*
********
There’s this woman named Iris. Getting into and out of her enemies’ stronghold is never a problem. The problem is staying anywhere in particular!

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2014hm/HerrD-Iris_zpsfb6505dc.png
*silver
*******
On a recent trip to the zoo, my young were tired and inexplicably went straight to the fence between the main thoroughfare and the biggest restaurant. My littlest started holding the fence and playing “lean back, jerk, let go, grab” while my oldest started staring down at the diners, fascinatedly for no apparent reason. Three tables full of diners looked up at her, as if to say “What are YOU looking at?”
I nudged my littlest and said, “It’s feeding time here at the HUMAN enclosure. Do you remember what they look like from last time?”
My littlest shook her head and said, “No, Daddy.”
I nodded as gravely as I could. “Well, you ARE new at this.”
One guy laughed. He wasn’t at the tables. He was far enough I hadn’t thought he could hear me.
Oh, well. (7/21/14)
*******
Some classes I wish I’d taken: “Common Lies Used In Marketing,” “Social Prerequisites For Dating,” “Why People Pretend Those Stupid Moves Count As Dancing.”
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2014hm/OddLecture_zpsbd011b7f.png
I made this for Hairy’s blog at HairyDeewonIsNotAnAlien .blogspot.com minors ask permission from your folks, please. He uses a lot of my artwork.

[Herr D]

@JR19759 said:

It might help if you didn’t eat that year old cake over on prs’ thread. I’d imagine that couldn’t have helped.
I’m going to go back and redo that last one though. Pretty much as soon as I posted it, I thought of how I could improve it.

HEY! It was it or me– Looking forward to the next iteration of medley.

[Herr D]

. . . and to think, the only thing that would make her more dangerous would be if she was better at cleaning up before returning to bed.

[Herr D]

Some propaganda from the War Department, only about seventy years late–lost in the mail:

A certain high-ranking official died because of a lack of proper air support. His dying wish was that he could prevent the same thing happening to other American soldiers. At the precise moment of his death, an eagle egg appeared in his usual seat in the chapel of the army base he was temporarily stationed. Much to the amazement of the chaplain, it hatched and grew instantly to adult size. It had a peculiar star on its chest and required no food or water. Its squawking alerted the sentries to a saboteur the very next night, saving perhaps two hundred lives. It fights the Nazis at every turn–American Eagle!

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2014hm/HerrD-AE1_zpsbecbffc1.png
*GAc
*

[Herr D]

“Sir? Since I have–NOTHING–of any value except this pencil and pad of paper, may I draw you another tattoo? I’ll just leave it here on the sidewalk when I’m done and say that you had red hair and a pierced nose if the cops get here before I leave. My back is to the jewelry store. Don’t mind me.”

[Herr D]

Not bad!
–I was imagining something more specific, like when my squidlings sing that the ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’ actually lives on ‘Old MacDonald’s Farm,’ or when I doze off hearing on the radio about those living in a yellow submarine and wake up hearing about them ‘Walking The Dinosaur–‘
[shakes self semi-violently]
Yeah, I’m working again. Sleep deprivation and raising offspring apparently duplicate many of the reported effects of hallucinogens. So if anyone believed for even a moment that they needed illicit drugs, then they must be completely sterile and completely unable to achieve fatigue due to total paralysis coupled with narcolepsy. This concludes your public service announcement.

[Herr D]

[sounds of suckers on wall as Herr D approaches cake JR left out last March.]

Uh . . . [glances around with one eye, keeping other eyes on cake] Yeah, prs; nice works–I may have to read up on tikbalangs. Is that cake moving? [uses six tentacles to dash out, pursued by newly sentient cake wielding a garrote made of tied-together deflated balloons]

[Herr D]

@livewyre1014 said:

just saw Hypnosis…outstanding work

Agreed. I was getting sleepy, SLEEPY . . . HEY, WHERE’S MY WALLET!

[Herr D]

@JR19759 said:

That’s awesome dude.
One thing I would suggest is maybe using the flat breast instead of the larger breasts for the backside (that is not something I envisioned myself ever saying), as it will make the trousers look less tight.
Either way, it is certainly a successful try.

Or ‘dimming’ the outline color and adding a translucent layer over it.

Great shark.

[Author]

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