Herr D's CFLs

Home Forums The HeroMachine Art Gallery Herr D's CFLs

Viewing 15 posts - 166 through 180 (of 639 total)
  • Author
  • #25271


    Haha, awesome Laugh






    This was a first for me Herr D. Hope you like it. I took the easy way by using the companions, so I might go back later and dress them up some. During Mardi Gras, a small, black woman walked into a bar. She waved at the bartender, pointed to herself, walked up between two barstools, sat first on one and then the other. The bartender nodded, pulled a bottle from under the bar, poured a glass of expensive-looking alcohol, and set it next to her. Another patron openly stared for a moment, and then he walked around the bar to talk to her.
    “What was that? That signal?”
    She smiled at him and said, “My name is Remoulade Martin of the New Orleans Martins. People call me Remy. Two stools means a double.”
    “Neat!” said the patron, “Let me try.” He pulled out a lighter, saluted the bartender, and tossed it on the bar. The bartender opened a bottle and handed to him. The patron smiled and said “Bud Light Draft! It works!”
    A woman walked up and smiled, saying, “I can top those. If I mystify both of you, will you pay for mine? And if you figure it out? I’ll pay for yours.”
    Bud said, “Okay.”
    Remy said, “Go for it!”
    The woman turned to the bartender, gave him a sultry smile, and touched her nose with the side of her finger. The bartender raised his eyebrows. He opened the fridge, pulled out three containers and a bowl of cut-up lemons and limes. He poured exact-looking measurements from each container into a mixer, squeezed in the juice of three lime slices and two lemons, added a dash of six different bottles from under the bar in rapid succession, closed and shook the mixer, poured the result into a large glass, carefully added four spoonfuls of tonic water and an olive. Then he plunked in a cube of pineapple and handed it to her on a napkin.
    Bud stared, openmouthed. “What is THAT drink called?”
    The bartender said, “Biloxi Bliss, sir. Want one?”
    “No, thanks. How much?”
    Bud raised his eyebrows. “I might owe half that. Ms. Martin? You want to try this?”
    Remy smiled. “What’s your name?”
    The woman smiled, “Mary Abramovitz.”
    Remy looked at Bud, Bud looked at Remy, and they paid up. Remy started back to her seat, but Bud had to know. “What was that?”
    Mary smiled and explained. “Twenty years ago, I won the title of Miss Biloxi. This bartender designed the drink to honor me. We’re engaged, after all!”


    Herr D

    Well done, WMD! For those of you who didn’t get the prep part of that, I wrote a bar joke and asked WMD to illustrate it. Looks good!

    & Cant: Thank you. One-panels are a bit easier as comics, I’ve found.


    Herr D

    First FULL contact–fully insured?


    Let’s hope so.

    ****OPMC entry


    Herr D

    Genre mashup contest called for two flavors. I went superneapolitan:

    “Peekalo And The Mystery Of The Museum Explosion” is a sci-fi – operetta – comedy – mystery – western. Not coming to a theater, ANYWHERE NEAR ANYONE.

    . . . luhluhluh-lalala-luhluhluh-lalala-luhluhluh-lalala this-is-a-mashup-from-way-out-of-town!
    Luhluhluh-lalala-luhluhluh-lalala-luhluhluh-lalala . . .


    Herr D

    Their perspective has to be one of patience.


    . . . Still?

    ****gargoyle contest


    Herr D

    Just a few people around an outdoor cafe . . .


    I assure you. NOTHING to see here. [nudge, nudge, Wink]

    ***OPMC contest.


    Herr D

    Seventeen different species went into the original Operation: Herring Deep. The Naval Corps of Genengineers devised the recombinant patterns of DNA and double- and triple-checked the final surgical protocols. These protocols had to include complete removal of developing brain lobes eleven times to prevent sentience developing, as well as what was projected to be a life full of pain, insanity, and uncontrollable rages.
    Later iterations of the R. D. S. class excluded starfish DNA, which substantially lowered the incidence of such crafts turning on their crews. Here is the maiden voyage of the U. S. Fintacle.



    Really cool, and really weird. Nice!



    I assume that one could not say that the operation had gone ‘swimmingly’?

    Looks great btw


    Herr D

    Thanx, Trekkie and JR. Smile As to your query, JR, one would say it went quite swimmingly for the tweaky crafts. They had a 100% kill rate every time they grew back enough brain stem to mutiny. As many as five may still be patrolling the deeps. The navy, however, had to step up their recruiting for nearly a decade . . .


    Herr D

    I forgot to post this one here.

    Take a look at “Mr. E and his whirling scythe-whips of death!” He’s never revealed much about himself. He said his favorite singer was Julianne Drews–that he loved her name best of all. The guy who corrected his mistake never felt being sliced up. Happened too fast.




    Herr D

    I forgot this one too. The Rev’s questions were difficult, but I may have answered them here.



    Herr D

    “ANOTHER incident report, Ensign?”
    “Yes, Captain. Another suit problem.”
    “Those suits are nothing but trouble.”
    “Yes sir.”
    “Well, you’d better get the surgeon to remove whoever it grew shut around this time. On the double!”
    “Well, get going, then! Get the surgeon!”
    “Ensign! Why are you still here?!”
    “There’s no one IN this suit, sir!”
    “. . . what?”
    “It DID grow shut. Then it left through the hatch. The suit’s software indicates the tanks weren’t even on.”
    “Did you issue the recall code? The fins should deploy and the Diver Injury System should bring it right back.”
    “We did Captain, but it’s not coming back. It swam away faster.
    “Oh, dear. . . well, I suppose we’d better go capture it then, before it does something untoward. Like reproduce.”
    (When WILL the Naval Corps of Genengineers ever learn?)

Viewing 15 posts - 166 through 180 (of 639 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.