Herr D's CFLs

[Herr D]

The people were fed up. No one could be agreed upon. No leader had been able to make good decisions in every category required, even when the best advisors were available. Worse, research scientists had discovered mathematical and genetic proof that the ambition required to suffer through BECOMING a leader would always make the people having it less fit to rule. No one ever solved the problem of how to get people to NEVER think “what’s in it for me?” or “I’M important.”

. . . but the think tank at Lab J figured it out. 3 carefully chosen and conflicting units, wired in series, would eliminate biases. They laughed at the idea that this would amount to a computer. “Ridiculous!” said their new spokesman, “a computer wouldn’t include the human factor, as we have clearly done. Our choice for candidate will be running on the ballot under the legal name, ‘The Rational Choice,’ and we will be happy to demonstrate our candidate’s superiority. The finest minds available went into it! The decisions of OUR candidate will be superior to any candidate you offer. We are looking forward to the debates.”

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-TheRationalChoice_zps53e880f5.png

um?

[Herr D]

The Agreement was actually remarkably simple. All leaders benefit from their peoples’ greatness, so they must suffer for their peoples’ suffering. Once every year, a random sample is chosen by computer. The people selected are required by law to provide information on their tax returns, recent employment history, whether they have received governmental assistance, whether they have been through natural disasters, victims of crime, etc.
Every hundred thousand law-abiding citizens who have had their lives improve drastically and have a high opinion of the leader becomes worth one week added to the term of office. Every hundred law-abiding citizens who have had their lives change for the worse in any way that the government contributed to is worth one subjective minute of pain at a single pain level. Up to three pain levels at a time may be felt. The pain is delivered by direct input. Lasers are tuned to nerve frequencies to activate the electrical signals in the nervous system. The result is the memory of pain with no physical damage. No leader going through this Vote of Confidence has ever had a psychotic episode or died of heart failure. A surprising number of them have retired from office and sought therapy.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-WorldPrez_zps4b84d380.png
The random sample is only one million out of the thirteen billion people on Earth. But the Prez is given no warning of how much pain is coming.

[Herr D]

. . . before hm3, there was ordinary digital art, before that, comics were on paper, before that, papyrus (?) [shading was impossible on that,] before that–well?

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2013hm/HerrD-OldestComicStripInTheWorld_zpsfa8d5b4f.png

The Museum of Hairdee’s Oddities proudly accepts donations.
*

[Trekkie]

Nice! All the little details are great, especially the cracked parts.

[Lightningsword]

Heh. Nice work on the jar, especially the crack marks. Again, Sorry if the ogres weren’t good enough. Again, I curse my Internet connection. But if it’s alright with you, I’ll set up a template and post it here so you can make a 2 headed ogre yourself.

[Myro]

Before that, I think it was cave drawings. They’re a little hard to get out of the cave though.

Good job on the jar, Herr D.

[Herr D]

Wow. Thanx, guys. I forgot to mention I titled that pic “World’s Oldest Comic Strip.” Of course, Myro, you’re probably right. Some cave paintings might qualify. Lucky the caves can’t be boxed up after all.

@Fudgee: I’ll be happy to accept such a gift. You might also post it on the Poses section of the Custom Archive. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to start a thread there for alternate anatomies?

@Trekkie: You mentioned details–do you think detail on the vase on the woman’s head is plain enough? It was too small for me to be sure. I intended it to look like another 3-line comic strip, but the best image I could get was very tiny and far from complete.

[Trekkie]

@Herr D said:

@Trekkie: You mentioned details–do you think detail on the vase on the woman’s head is plain enough? It was too small for me to be sure. I intended it to look like another 3-line comic strip, but the best image I could get was very tiny and far from complete.

I think it works- I can tell what it’s meant to look like, despite the size.

[Herr D]

Ouch. Ouch. OUCH!

That was a rather tender bit of pride breaking. I have just become unemployed. Truth be told, I never liked the job or most of the people there–they weren’t very nice to me. But I’m in rather a pickle for losing it. Among all of you who’ve seen my work, know anything about the way I think, etc. >>1. Do you have any notion of what I should do for a living, because I’ve never known. 2. Do you know of such opportunities in the Northern Virginia area?

I couldn’t keep my head down low enough, apparently.
I guess I should mention the two things I’m incompetent at: cleaning and selling.

[The Atomic Punk]

Sorry to hear that, Herr D. Well, I don’t know your background or work experience… However, I figure northern Virginia has a lot of federal government jobs and contractors. Personally, I work in the railroad industry as a contractor. I center my opportunities around transportation and energy. Kind of allegorical… life in motion, as it were.

Maybe CSX or Amtrak has something?

[Myro]

That’s too bad, Herr D. I can sympathize. Although I haven’t been laid off, I am taking an unscheduled vacation, due to all the flooding in Calgary. I can’t even go downtown yet, and I think it will be at least a few more days before my workplace will even become safe to enter on such a basis, if not longer.
Anyway, best of luck on finding a new job that hopefully agrees to your liking.

[Herr D]

@AP: Thanx, I may be looking at those. Searching has begun.

@Myro: Is there a Calgary in Canada? I only know of the one in Texas. If you’re in Calgary, Canada, I guess I should say I’m sorry it hit you all that badly and thank you for not letting all of it hit down here. Lots of storms right now. Hope you’re ‘machining since you can’t be earning.

. . . and thanks for the encouragement, guys.

[Trekkie]

Sorry to hear about your situation, my friend. ‘Fraid I can’t really offer anything in terms of suggestions, but best of luck in finding something anyway.

[Myro]

@Herr D said:

@AP: Thanx, I may be looking at those. Searching has begun.

@Myro: Is there a Calgary in Canada? I only know of the one in Texas. If you’re in Calgary, Canada, I guess I should say I’m sorry it hit you all that badly and thank you for not letting all of it hit down here. Lots of storms right now. Hope you’re ‘machining since you can’t be earning.

. . . and thanks for the encouragement, guys.

Yeah, there’s a Calgary in Canada. That’s where I live, and we got some flooding late last week, and it has only just receded. A lot of buildings need some massive renovations before they can be opened again. But I’m trying to get some much needed stuff done around the house, and I may even start machining again. Thanks.

[Herr D]

@Trekkie: thanks, man.

@Myro: Two places named Calgary. Two different countries. Both subject to flooding. (?) Some of the people I grew up with, if they lived in one of them and found out about the other, would have built a fake sign for Mt. Rogers or Mt. Olympus or something equally unfloodable and start a petition to change the name of the place.

[Author]

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