Monthly Archives: December 2008

Random Panel: Great moments in bad technobabble

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META: Installation upgrade

I upgraded to the latest version of WordPress today, and although it looks like it's working you never really know for sure. So give me a shout if something is broken.

On coining sounds

You often find common words used as onomontoPOWia in comics, which is both understandable and lazy at the same time. Usually it doesn't work, as we saw when a young Jim Starlin tried to use "BRONX" as the sound of Iron Man hitting a galactic vampire. Joe Staton swings and misses in the pages of "Millennium" as well with the same technique:

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Both are one letter off from common sound effects, and the effect is jarring. POW and BASH I can mentally translate into something I might hear. But adding a letter to turn each from a sound effect to an actual word decreases their ability to convey meaning. You can't help but bring up the words' definitions in your mind when you read them, and instantly you're not in the realm of the auditory but rather the physical in one case and emotional in the other. You want to keep your reader in the moment, not break them out of it thinking, "That's not what a plow is ..."

Keep it simple, folks; sometimes more is less.

Random Panel: Bad reactions from old people to an X-Box 360 Christmas gift

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How to make paper minis with HeroMachine

instructables.pngI just found this neat article on "Instructables.com" giving step-by-step instructions on how to make paper miniatures for your gaming group. I'm impressed with the detail and nice photographs, it's a well done tutorial. You can also use it with the Marvel Kids hero creator or the Brazilian Her-O-Matic.

If you're looking for a fun holiday activity involving cyborgs and/or laser-toting elves, you can't go wrong with this one!

Random Panel: May all your gifts make you as happy as this one is about to make her

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(Merry Christmas everyone!)

Bad Costumes: Dr. Bong

You rarely find a super-character who can inspire gales of hysterical laughter at both their costume and their name, but Dr. Bong has certainly managed it:

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I must begin with the "helmet", which consists of a handbell complete with handle. For grasping. And ringing. You know, why not just tattoo "Grab my head and fling me about!" on your forehead? Because then you wouldn't be giving your enemy a convenient handle with which to do so, that's why, and from the looks of him, this guy is nothing if not detail-oriented. For instance, note the clever way he's embossed not just eyes and a mouth, but a nose on his bell-helment. Oh sure, he forgot to include eye HOLES to see out of, but at least he's avoided the grim specter of mockery at his lack of a full complement of facial features.

The cape is also a nice touch, because when you're staggering around after getting your head shaken like a prop in a bad Christmas Bells show and you can't see where you're going due to your lack of eye holes, it's a great idea to be enveloped in a thick, swirling, guaranteed-to-trip-you cloak. That way you're sure to fall, whereupon your ridiculously over-sized belt can actually jam itself into and through your diaphragm, saving you the embarrassment of living with everyone knowing what a bad fashion designer you are.

But the coup de grace of this ensemble is, beyond a shadow of doubt, his left hand. One possibility is that he's got a giant bell clapper for a glove, which is disturbing because it's built to slap a bell and the closest bell invariably is going to be his freaking head! I don't know, maybe he's into slapping himself around in a fight or something, and while I don't want to harsh on anyone's ability to get their jollies, couldn't he do that in the privacy of his own home? Or dungeon?

The second possibility is that the bell-themed accouterments are a distraction, and his name is actually code for an illegal bit of drug paraphernalia. I sure hope that's the case, because it would really do my heart good to see a super-hero pausing in the middle of a battle to toke up. "Fight's over, super-dudes, it's brownies-time at Doctor Bong's HQ!" If he were patrolling the city you can bet there'd be a huge spike in crime every day at 4:20.

I'd salute you, Doctor Bong, but I won't out of fear you might salute back and knock yourself silly. Well, sillier, anyway.

(Character and image ©Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.)

Random Panel: I bet they remember

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META: Holiday outage

I'll be away from the office until Saturday, December 27, but I'm scheduling posts to appear throughout that time to ensure you've got your daily dose of random. Have a good break everyone, and apologies in advance if your comments go unanswered or unmoderated, I'll get to them as soon as I can!

Caption Contest 41: Dishpan hands? Get Thano-fresh!

If you come up with the best/funniest replacement dialog for this random comics panel:

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And you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration from professional artist Jeff Hebert (he said self-referentially)! The rules are simple: make your entry in the comments below; no more than three entries per person; and try to keep it relatively clean, appropriate for a broadcast television show.

Now get out there and bring the funny!