Monthly Archives: April 2008

Caption Contest 8: Avast!

The HeroMachine Caption Contest 8 has now begun! If you come up with the funniest caption for this comic book panel, you'll win a custom black and white drawing by professional (and startlingly bald) illustrator Jeff Hebert, creator of HeroMachine:

Caption Contest 8

A sample entry might be:

Balloon1: Bosun, this periscope only has a RIGHT-eye socket, you idiot, I can't use this!
Balloon2: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!

Here are the rules:

  1. Enter by leaving your caption in the comments to this post, and no more than three entries per person.
  2. Clearly indicate what dialog goes in which balloon.
  3. Keep it clean -- anything that would fly on your average broadcast television sitcom is fine.

Good luck to everyone, it's going to be hard to beat last week in terms of either quantity or quality!

Random Panel: Thanks for the tip

In case you can’t tell, I’m invisible.

Caption Contest 7 Winner

The winner of Caption Contest 7 is ... Ashton Jakobson's not-so-jolly Green Giant!

Jolly Green Giant

I think what really sold this one was how much the guy over the green dude's shoulder really does look like he's taking a bite. Ashton will win a custom black and white illustration of his choice by yours truly. Many thanks to all of the entrants, it was an impressive showing. Some of the Honorable Mentions that made me laugh were:

  1. “This isn’t like the Axe commercials at all!!”
  2. Green Guy: Go to the Emerald City they said. See the wizard they said. Damn munchkins…
  3. Barbarian repellent my keister!

Great work everyone!

Mashup 8: A Day at the Undead Office

We plunge once again into the fathomless depths of the Great Random Comic Book Pile for the weekly Mashup. As usual, I will try to create an entertaining story by using one (and only one) panel from each of ten randomly selected comic books. This week, half of the books featured Dr. Strange, which is appropriate as this little exercise tends to the bizarre. So without further ado, we're off!
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Random Panel: Bad excuses for refusing a date

Besides, you’re positively frigid.

Random Panel: Remind me to order the LARGE coffin

Sounds like the dead are getting LIVELIER.

Caption Contest 6 prize

Count Libido and I have completed his prize for winning Caption Contest 6:

Count Libido

I'm very happy with the way this one turned out, I think it's got a lot of pizazz. If you want to win your own custom illustration of whatever you like, enter the HeroMachine Caption Contest 7, going on now!

Random Panel: From Maxwell Smart's Spy Handbook

Missions are not accomplished by smiling.

Did Dr. Doom buy the Playboy Club?

A trio of bad super costumes.

Considering the carnivorous-bikini-wearing tousle-haired no-toed blond apparently grooving to her own crazy beat; the crouching, leering, perverted toad behind the man with the silly frilly cape; the half-naked muscle-bound oaf at the rear; the pink and orange-wearing lecherous mariachi player; and the nudist glowing girl just off-panel to the left, I wouldn't blame you for suspecting that this is actually some sort of super-villain swinger's club. Can Lube-Lad be far away? The room is literally packed with super-villains, all of whom are gathered to plan Silver Star's defeat, but I'm pretty sure that's just an excuse for them all to get funky.

Regardless, if the man in red and blue is indeed the Emcee as his letter logos would have you believe, there's no way this party is going to rock. No one with that kind of massive upper-body musculature who would wear a butt-length cape like that can possibly have anything but disco in their music collection, and even Dr. Lightning Arrow Fellow behind him is turning away in disgust. And when you've lost the Shaft Master, you've really lost your groove, baby.

Not to mention how bad the guitar playing from our masked color-blind minstrel must be. Honestly, if you can't tell that pink bows clash with orange frilly lace piping, you have no chance of making it in the gay musical villain business. I would bet his only real super-power is Sartorial Suckage, striking disgust in the heart of the fashionable. Throw in the fact that even if you score in this crazy villain sex-club hangout, the woman will eat your "sidekick" with her drooling demon facegina, and you've got yourself a recipe for night club disaster, my friend.

No wonder most super-villains work alone.

(Image and characterfrom “Silver Star”, No. 1, ©1993, Jack Kirby.)

Random Panel: Maybe the flower pot on his head is making him grumpy

Do not speak to me again.