Mashup 8: A Day at the Undead Office

We plunge once again into the fathomless depths of the Great Random Comic Book Pile for the weekly Mashup. As usual, I will try to create an entertaining story by using one (and only one) panel from each of ten randomly selected comic books. This week, half of the books featured Dr. Strange, which is appropriate as this little exercise tends to the bizarre. So without further ado, we're off!

Our story begins at the Tube factory, located in an abandoned Manhattan churchyard, where a recently hired temporary secretary prepares to give her boss some unwanted news.

We have a problem.
I turn trembling to face him…
My God! You’re a girl!

As if discovering that his secretary is, in fact, a female, isn't enough to blow Rintrah Bond's mind, the other shoe drops.

You’re dead.
Your only urges are love and death, luckily I am both.

Now that's already a bad day -- you discover your secretary's actually a woman, that she's hot for you, and that you are actually one of the undead -- but it gets even worse; she just stabbed you when you weren't looking.

By now my single gold shaft should have … Hey, you two ain’t supposed to be in here!

But who could possibly have stumbled upon them in their office building in the middle of an abandoned Manhattan churchyard?

We grow restless and wish to join the battle!

Alas, it's the astral projection of Lord Damon, Bond's master vampire, who wishes to use the churchyard for his own version of Friday Night Fights.

She’s fainted. Wonderful.

The ghastly visage was too much for her to bear, but she awakens after a few minutes to see Bond and Damon "grappling".

Will you please WATCH where you squish?

Unfortunately they weren't exactly fighting, as Rintrah Bond tries to explain, but to no avail.

I don’t want to know about the sexual customs of your native world.

Disgusted by her clueless perverted alien undead boss, the secretary storms off in a huff, determined that this time, that darn temp agency will find her a decent, normal, stable job!

The issues appearing in this week's mashup in order of appearance are:

  1. Justice League Europe, No. 1, ©1989, DC Comics, Inc.
  2. Dr. Strange, Vol. 1, No. 12, ©1989, Marvel Comics.
  3. Jon Sable, Freelance, Vol. 1, No. 1, ©1983, First Comics, Inc.
  4. Dr. Strange, Vol. 1, No. 15, ©1990, Marvel Comics.
  5. James Bond 007: Serpent's Tooth, No. 1, ©1992, Acme Comics Ltd., Dark Horse Comics, Inc., and Glidrose Publications, Ltd.
  6. Dr. Strange, Vol. 1, No. 15, ©1989, Marvel Comics. (There were two copies of this issue in the random stack of ten, so I had to use two panels from it.)
  7. The Infinity Gauntlet, Vol. 1, No. 4, ©1991, Marvel Comics.
  8. Dr. Strange, Vol. 1, No. 10, ©1989, Marvel Comics.
  9. Dr. Strange, Vol. 1, No. 12, ©1989, Marvel Comics.
  10. Video Jack, Vol. 1, No. 6, ©1988, Marvel Entertainment Group.
  11. Dr. Strange, Vol. 1, No. 14, ©1990, Marvel Comics.