Afros, white chicks, and disco

When you mix bad hair, disturbing metallic outfits, and inspiration from the worst music ever created, the result can only be Dazzler-icious Shimmer-riffic!

shimmer

On the plus side, Shimmer never has to worry about showing up at a party where some other super-chick is wearing the same outfit. So that's nice.

Of course, that's because no one else in their right mind would ever think of making an entire costume from metallic spandex, then topping it off with the worst Day-Glo-orange Afro this side of Bozo the Clown.

You also have to be impressed with the large solid gold (and I mean solid, no clear-center hoops for this on-the-go gal!) disc earrings she's sporting, perhaps acquired in the same discotheque-gone-bust yard sale where she got the bulk rate discount on the spangles for her costume. Because nothing sets off a big white-chick Afro like ginormous flashing jewelry.

What really makes the outfit for me, though, are the completely gratuitous cutouts in the front. As if skin-tight shining metal and a color scheme right out of the left end of the Crayola box weren't revealing enough, some guy (and I do mean guy) at Corporate must have sent a memo requiring the artist to use, and I quote, "more skin."

That was Eighties DC for you, right at the cutting edge of class, refinement, and feminism.

Given all of that, I can't blame Shimmer for turning to a life of crime. If someone slapped those thigh-boots and long gloves on me, I'd sure as hell feel like killing someone too. So you go, girl!

(Image and character ©DC Comics, Inc.)

Random Panel: Because sober chimps are so passé

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(From "Day of Vengeance" number 1, ©2005, DC Comics, Inc.)

Hammerknight Recipe 5: Rock of ages

(Frequent commenter and power-user Hammerknight has been kind enough to put together some visual tips, which he calls "recipes", to help you assemble just the right visual for your character in HeroMachine 3. His latest installment deals with properly sizing your character by age. Thanks again HK, these are great! Feel free to use the comments to ask questions, get tips on putting together your character, or anything else help-related you have on your mind.)

Random Panel: Sidekick recruitment FAIL

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(Image from "Invincible" number 62, ©2009, Robert Kirkman and Cory Walker. Art by the incomparable Ryan Ottley.)

Blast from the Past: Caption Contest 57

Like an old boyfriend who just can't let go, or the drooling zombie hungry for your brains, it's ... the RETURN of the CAPTION CONTEST! By request, for at least this week we're going to return to that treasured gem of old, and I will challenge you to come up with the best or funniest replacement dialog for this comic book panel:

atomman-1-1946-blank

It's been a while, so let's review the rules.

  • All entries must be made as comments to this post;
  • No more than three (3) entries per person;
  • Keep it clean, appropriate for a PG-13 type of audience (which I admit will be difficult given the ... suggestive physical appearance of the highly complicated scientific device in the image).

That's it! I'll choose a winner next Tuesday, to be selected by whichever one makes me laugh the most. So get ready to bring the funny! The winner will get to choose to have either a caricature of their face, or any one item of their choice, included with the HeroMachine 3 final version.

Good luck everyone!

(Image from "Atom-man" number 1, 1946.)

Character Contest 12 Winner!

I admit, the whole "Image Nineties" contest was pretty specific, and probably meant that a lot of people not as "in" on what went down during that decade were probably turned off, BUT ... the entries I did get made me laugh. Like, a lot. So it was all worth it in the end!

Having said that, I think even those who aren't as morally outraged by the artistic excesses of super-hero comics in the Nineties will get a kick out of these Honorable Mentions and, of course, the overall winner that appears at the end of the post.

Without further ado, let's jump in the Wayback Machine!

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Random Panel: “CLINK” is musical?

amazingman-6-1939-musicalheadbullets

(From "Amazing Man" number 6, 1939.)

Poll Position: Medium well

Our Poll Position question this week has to do with the difficulties of translating material from one medium -- in this case, comic books -- to the movie screen:

{democracy:92}

Discussion after the jump.

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Random Panel: Great moments in bad dates

amazingman-6-1939-catkiller

(From "Amazing Man" number 6, 1939.)

Random Panel: Alternate Universe TV, “Lois and Lex” edition

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(From "Lois Lane" 65, copyright DC Comics, Inc. Hat tip to Chris' Invincible Super-Blog. And yes, that's Lois Lane and Lex Luthor.)