SOD.211

I don't think anyone's noticed, but I'm way behind on these. Sorry -- I'll do my best to catch up over the weekend. In the meantime, enjoy this disgusting spectacle that makes me simultaneously ashamed and giddy like a school girl.

Lone Wolf. Or Rabbit. You decide.

Our feelings of human camaraderie have prevailed -- or possibly we just wish to be surrounded by more human shields in the event of an attack -- and we have decided to seek out the company of the refugees fleeing along the road.

The people look tired and hungry. They have come many miles from their burning city. Suddenly, you hear the beat of huge wings coming from the north.

'Kraan, Kraan! Hide yourselves!' the cry goes up all along the road.

Just in front of you, a wagon carrying small children breaks down, its right wheel jammed in a furrow. The children scream in panic.

[polldaddy poll="3583503"]

Now this is where the rubber meets the road! Or the wagon wheel gets in a rut. Or the foot falls in a puddle. Whatever, look, we've got a clear choice here -- run like a rabbit or stand like a lion? I'll just note that Hercules wore the skin of a lion, but not a rabbit. However, they never made a movie called "The Rabbit King" either. They did make "Watership Down", though, which was pretty awesome. Am I rambling? Focus, Jeff, FOCUS!

In any event, look at this kids before you make your decision:

First of all, those children are clearly possessed by Satan. What they need is not a Kai Warrior but a good exorcist. Can there be any doubt the one on the right is eating her mother right now? I think not. And the baby is at least half caterpillar, which is just disgusting.

So really, the choice is whether to run away and hope to fight again, or stand up to an invading group of flying badasses in order to save the spawn of the devil. At least partly human hell children, admittedly, but hell spawn nonetheless.

So what'll it be, and why?

HM3: New chainmail pattern

I just updated the main HeroMachine 3 applet with a new pattern, meant to look a little more like chainmail:

It's the last pattern in the "Patterns" tab. Let me know if you would like any tweaks to it. I don't plan on adding any more patterns, each one increases the file size by 10% or so.

RP: Great villain one-liners

(From "Four Favorites" number 6.)

Nature Insignia update

With help from the nice commenters on the last post, I've added the following items to Insignia-Nature for HeroMachine 3. Thanks guys!

HM3: It's only natural

I'm happy to announce that the "Insignia-Nature" set of items for HeroMachine 3 is now live. In addition to almost three pages of nature-themed items from the Insignia-Standard set you've already seen, I've added another three pages of all-new entries as well:

Hope you like 'em! If you think I missed some items that ought to be there, or if you see a glitch of some sort, by all means let me know in the comments.

HeroMachine3 101, part 1

Hammerknight did a ton of work, putting together a "basics" guide on how to use HeroMachine 3 for the beginner. I'm going to break this up into several weeks, starting with a brief tour of the controls.

Thanks Hammerknight!

Continue reading

RP: Super villains make bad motivational speakers

(From "Four Favorites" number 6.)

The Understandably Unknown Soldier

Super heroes often forget they've got their underwear on outside their pants, but they don't usually forget the actual pants themselves. Which makes "The Unknown Soldier" really stand out:

I know in Australia they have a military uniform that involves shorts. I can understand that, because let's face it, Australia is hot, folks. But I can't think of a single country that dresses their soldiers in Speedos. Although if there is one, I bet it's a banana republic, because then they could call their uniforms the banana hammocks.

Anyway, can you really blame this soldier for being unknown? He was probably all ready to stand proudly in front of the troops as the very model of a brave American WWII soldier, only to finally see the uniform in all its bare-legged, buttock-baring glory. Whereupon he immediately demanded a mask. And entry to the Witness Protection Program should he ever become Known.

(From "Our Flag Comics" number 3, 1941.)

RP: Invisible indeed

(Image and characters © Marvel Comics.)