Home › Forums › The Writers’ Room › Writing Contests and Challenges › Tell my story
- This topic has 297 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 10 months ago by The Atomic Punk.
-
AuthorPosts
-
July 14, 2013 at 1:28 pm #27612
Linea24ParticipantI love the story you wrote for her. I love the idea of her people being a dying race, and that she is offering the one thing keeping her race alive to the invaders in order for her race to die peacefully.
July 14, 2013 at 1:34 pm #27613
WMDBASSPLAYERParticipantThat was beautiful! There is no need for you to apologize because all of your stories have been worth the wait!
July 14, 2013 at 4:58 pm #27624
The Atomic PunkParticipant@Linea24 said:
I love the story you wrote for her. I love the idea of her people being a dying race, and that she is offering the one thing keeping her race alive to the invaders in order for her race to die peacefully.
Thank you. Depending on where you were standing when you saw the blue flash over the mountain, the story has a different ending. A survey found that women see a romantic sacrifice while men see a clever ruse. Well, I asked one woman and one guy. However the reader interprets the story.
July 14, 2013 at 9:29 pm #27633
The Atomic PunkParticipantDIES IRAE, DIES ILLA
Original Character by Harlekin; Adaptation by The Atomic Punk“Sibyl, hey!†said David excited to have finally found his classmate.
“Hey,†replied Sibyl emotionlessly.
“Why are you hiding in here? I’ve been looking for you for hours!â€
“I just wanted some time to myself before the storm came. Close my eyes. Listen to some Mozart,†answered Sibyl, still with no emotion.
“What’s wrong? Don’t tell me that you are having those ‘visions’ again.â€
“They are not ‘visions!’ They are quite real!†snapped Sibyl, this time rather angrily.
“So you were scared and decided to hide in a drain rather than come home from school?â€
“David, you don’t see. The storm is coming. Soon there won’t be a home,†Sibyl whispered and curled into a fetal position.
“Great, now it’s starting to pour. Mind if I crawl in there while we wait for the rain to pass?â€
“Sure, David. Now is not the time to be out in the open.â€
“Dear God, Sibyl, look! The rain… it’s turning into fire!â€
July 15, 2013 at 9:44 am #27657
The Atomic PunkParticipantSzÃvesen.
At first, I was thinking just a shy schoolgirl. Then I listened to Mozart’s Dies Irae. Epic! Your anime style inspired this opening scene.
Here is how I envision the rest. The main protagonists are Sibyl and her classmate David. Sibyl is psychic. David is a normal teenager. The two survive the fire that engulfs the earth. They seek answers to the cataclysmic event. They explore the new world that rises from the ashes. Appropriately called Aschewelt (“Ashworld”, which is also the title of the anime series).
Aschewelt is populated by what might be considered demons, mutants, or aliens bent on destroying the human survivors. Haven’t decided on any specific term or species. Nonetheless, these are powerful beings with abilities and themes inspired by Greek mythology. Sibyl is a prophetess in Greek antiquity. Sibyl the schoolgirl becomes more powerful as the classmates encounter more monsters. David becomes a capable fighter in his own right. Sometimes, he gains temporary powers through various magic, artifacts, or alien technology.
Of course, Mozart is the background music to all of the action.
July 15, 2013 at 10:07 am #27653
WMDBASSPLAYERParticipantYou rock, Atomic!
July 15, 2013 at 4:57 pm #27671
Alexander of LimboParticipantVery nice atomic, i can totally see that being some sort of anime series.
Here’s something different, how about Gabrilaxx:
And Ehkar:
(It’ll be interesting to see if you’re close to what i had in mind)
July 18, 2013 at 12:57 pm #27877
The Atomic PunkParticipant@Harlekin said:
And in my case the story is continued. I really like the concept. Thanks AP
Three things that I want to do should I win the lottery:
- Turn Firebird into a full-length movie
- Produce Aschewelt the anime series
- Raise bucking bulls for PBR (the Professional Bullriders Association)
@DC-Lover: You have a backstory for The Volunteer. Are you looking for a retcon or an adventure?Coming soon: Alexander of Limbo’s Gabrilaxx and Ehkar
July 19, 2013 at 10:13 pm #28056
Linea24ParticipantCan you do this one? I would love to see what you come up for it.
July 20, 2013 at 2:51 pm #28115
The Atomic PunkParticipantA MOST EFFICIENT DAY
Original Character by Alexander of Limbo; Story by The Atomic PunkYes, oh, yes! This will be a most efficient day. The trainees still have a ways to go. However, I believe with the addition of the new supervisors, they will become hard-working professionals. Now that my manager’s harness is fully charged, I can properly (and efficiently!) inspect the operation.
I will first descend to the mines where the workers extract the raw ore. A quick directional calibration, then float effortlessly over to the smelting furnace. Hmmm… the oven is not at an optimal 3.624 temperature. Best to alert the foreman.
Now to make my way past these support beams. On to level 26 to review the manufacturing process. Very good, I see that the engineers have spotless maintenance records. The line is at peak capacity.
Buzzing upward again to level 57 – Quality Control. Yes, this is very good news. The finished product has a mere 1.09-% defect rate. Still a little high, if you ask me.
To the rooftop distribution point where the drays load then ship our products to our customers. Marvelous, the just-in-time schedule is running smoothly. There have been no dry runs or pilot detentions this week.
I’ll just check my timepiece and… there’s the signal for the noontime break. Even the factory chronometer is accurate! I think I will descend down to the mines to remind the supervisors. The workers are entitled to nourishment and a brief rest period.
Gabrilaxx, old boy, if things continue like this, you will get a nice bonus during the Feast of Twelve Moons. Who knows? Maybe the Directors will notice and offer a promotion to The Board.
July 20, 2013 at 2:53 pm #28116
The Atomic PunkParticipantTHE VIEW FROM BELOW
Original Character by Alexander of Limbo; Story by The Atomic PunkHow did I get stuck on this detail? I am a warrior not an overseer. Who are the Industrialists to tell the Military what to do? If the War Council knew that we would be stuck in these mines, I doubt that they would have invaded this Orban-foresaken rock.
I have to admit, though, I really like the suppression rifle that they issued. Is that what they build here? Klorg… I don’t know. They don’t tell us anything. To them, we’re just slave drivers. I am an Ehkar. We are the elite unit that is the first to make footfall during a planetary invasion.
There’s that Industrialist and his flight suit buzzing all over the volcano again. Barking orders at us grunts. Maybe that’s why he always has that stupid smile on his face. He thinks he is so high and mighty. Calling us soldiers “supervisors†and “foremen.†Hey, pal, they’re slaves not “trainees.†What an insufferable bogworm…
Supposedly, we’re going to ship out around the Feast of Twelve Moons. Orban, I hope so! I need to get back to the frontlines before I shoot up this place.
Barzott! The Industrialist is coming back down here. Yeah, yeah… we heard the klaxon. It’s lunchtime. We know. By the way, your watch is slow… jackass.
July 20, 2013 at 3:08 pm #28120
JR19759KeymasterAwesome work. You’re getting better with each one.
I forgot to post this last week. I think you expressed some interest in them when I posted them on my thread.
July 20, 2013 at 11:52 pm #28149
The Atomic PunkParticipantMARTINI SHOT
Original Character Designs by DC-Lover; Story by The Atomic PunkCut… and… print! That’s a wrap, everyone! Great job! We’ll see you at the premiere party!
“Terribly sorry, Big M, but I will not be in attendance. The studio telegraphed. They want me to head to Siam for a new serial. Yes, I know. Too soon, what? The Kingsman is a popular fellow. Have to keep filling those matinee seats. A packed motion picture theatre means bread on our tables – and a bit of brandy, of course. I’ll be sure to send you a postcard.
“Truly, it is too soon. Just wrapped up my real mission here. Almost blew my cover a couple of times. Got the job done, though. These documents that I retrieved from Aviemore are proof that the Orange Brigade is collaborating with the Rising Sun Empire. To what end? I guess I will find out when I get to Siam.
“Now, what trite nonsense will ‘The Kingsman’ be up to? Where’s the bloody script? Oh, this is brilliant. What an apt title: ‘The Kingsman Meets Chingis Khan.’ I wonder if they will use an actual Asian actor for this one.
“The Rising Sun will undoubtedly be suspicious of a movie being filmed so close to occupied territory. Best to have my papers in order: Famous actor Reggie Keigwin. All of this cloak and dagger, sometimes I forget my real name. Alas, it is what I volunteered for.
“Rather good thing that I don’t go about my affairs like The Kingsman does in his movies. Running around with a bright red cape. I can barely move my arms under those stiff epaulets. The mask does come in handy if I am low on cosmetics for a disguise.
“One thing that makes no sense about The Kingsman. What kind of agent gets himself in a spot without a gun?â€
July 21, 2013 at 6:48 am #28166
Alexander of LimboParticipantGabrilaxx and Ehkar had better stories than i came up wih, I LOVE it. May have to throw some pannels together and let you have a go at them.
July 21, 2013 at 8:19 pm #28236
The Atomic PunkParticipantHARRIETTE OVERLOOKING AUORME
Original Design by Linea24; Story by The Atomic PunkFor generations, fathers have told the legends of Auorme, the great capital of Antiquity. Mother died before she could bear a son. So ashamed was Father not having a male heir, he refused to pass the knowledge to his only daughter. Grandfather was the one who sat me on his knee. I would tug his beard while he described a once mighty city.
Grandfather lectured the ideals and pride of the nation. He attested to the character and virtue of the people. Almost as if he had lived there. So rich was the tapestry that he wove, I could see myself in the picture. Walking the streets. Listening to the bustle of the marketplace. Caressing the bolts of silk. Tasting the exotic fruits. Smelling the flowers in the city garden.
Father forbade Grandfather from telling me more. Grandfather did say that every 202 years, the Moon and Our Visitor align so that the Sea of Memory recedes. During those eight days, one can find Auorme but must be quick. Lest the Sea return to swallow the curious.
During my self-imposed exile, I have learned more about the glory of Auorme. Antia, Our Visitor, has not always been among us. The Arrival threw our world Felinae into chaos and darkness. Antia’s unannounced presence caused the oceans to rise and mountains to break. Still, we endure.
I know nothing of the sky before the Arrival. To me, it must have been a lonely time. The Moon is pale and sickly. More than likely, it is dead. I can see that Antia is lush and green with my naked eye. Our Visitor’s waters glisten.
Before I leave the past beneath the waves, my thoughts drift into the night. Did the people of Antia also survive the catastrophe? Are they in diaspora? Do they look to the sky then wonder about their future?
Auorme itself is nothing more than stones and coral. Grandfather will always remember the city as it might have been. This journey has given me insight and hope. Something Father tried to deny me.
-
AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.