Tell my story

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    The Atomic Punk

    Thanks, WMD. prswirve described her as an ‘”air assassin.” Kind of clicked in my head that she would be part of a hyper-stylized world along the lines of “Final Fantasy” with a splash of “Aeon Flux.”

    I envisioned an industrial world where there are no citizens only workers. Residing in the clouds are the mysterious “Djinn” who oversee production and order. Maia was an enforcer. She fell from grace under circumstances that have yet to be revealed. As punishment, the Djinn surgically removed her hands. How Maia procured the prosthetics is also a mystery. Nonetheless, she is merciless and unforgiving. Maybe we will learn more of her past as she chases the clouds.

    Also, a large part of my concept came from the old corporate adage, “Stress: The confusion caused when one’s mind overrides the body’s natural desire to choke the living **** out of some ******* that desperately needs it.



    Anyway, here’s another one of mine. Nothing too new unfortunately, but this thread needs to be kept going so…
    (You can find the blurb on my thread, it shouldn’t be too far from the last post. Damn you creators block)


    The Atomic Punk

    Thanks, JR. Kira is one of my favorites from you. In fact, I had a story in mind when I first saw her.



    I think I’ll join JR in keeping this thread going. Here’s two from me:


    You can link them together or do a separate story for each, I don’t mind. Incidentally, they’re both part of the same universe as Blaze and Bolt (I see Electro as being a mentor to them), but feel free to go in your own direction.



    I’m going to help keep this thread alive too Laugh. Here’s a duo that I meant to put in the same picture, but never was able to:



    The Atomic Punk

    Thanks, Trekkie and Linea! Feeling a little under the weather right now. Head is all stuffy and refuses to let the stories out. Expect a story surge this weekend, though.

    Next up: JR’s Kira



    @The Atomic Punk said:

    Original Character by prswirve; Story by The Atomic Punk

    The thirteenth day of the thirteenth month of the thirteenth year. The wind swirls aimlessly. The sky transforms without notice above untrained eyes. The pressure from the incoming front shifts events on the streets below. The blue ceiling is breaking apart to reveal a new night.

    I feel the breeze. I breathe in the refreshed air. The change to come is within my reach. It is within my hands. These hands… these hands that act without feeling. That I control without sensation.

    These hands which do not burn with righteous anger. These hands which leave me cold and unsatisfied. My hands, they took them. After all that I did to shelter them from the storm. That I sent our enemies tumbling from high altitude. That I pushed them from our clouds. My reward for standing in the hurricane’s path.

    Whispers trend of the Lee that stands against the gale forces. There is no retreating from the Djinn. They have my hands. This I know. I have seen their trophy hall. They take pride in their precision and pleasure in others’ pain.

    There, above the skyscrapers that mock the pedestrian. Wrapped in sweet ozone. Protected from the industrial vapors that choke the factory-city. Untouched by the acid rain. Past the gates and towers, inside the mausoleum, there await my precious hands.

    They shall be mine. Made whole again, I shall be the tempest, the cleansing storm. My fingers will feel my enemies. The texture of skin, the crack of bone, and the warmth of blood as I choke them. As I inhale their dying breath.

    Wow! You brought her to life. I’m amazed!


    The Atomic Punk

    Original Character by JR19759; Story by The Atomic Punk

    “Saiban? Yes, that name is familiar to me. It has been a few years. So many names… so many faces. I never made it a point to remember any of them. The name does not explain the mask. I would not have recognized you… Kira…

    “Yes, Kira, such a frail girl. Always by her father’s side, never letting go of his hand. I recall when Kira wandered into the trees alone one day. She came across a dying Yoshino in the heart of the orchard. Do you remember?

    “Your father found you in tears, curled in a ball at the base of the tree. The Yoshino had succumb to silver leaf. Its branches sick with fungus. The blossoms were brown and black. Such a horrible sight. There was no choice but to destroy the other cherry trees to prevent blight.

    “I remember the fire burning bright in a sad little girl’s eyes. I remember the fire spreading uncontrollably to the house. Well, that was intentional. Sloppy… we thought that everyone had been consumed by the flames.

    “Which still does not explain the mask. You are as pretty as I remember you. Why hide such an innocent face and beautiful eyes? You wear your hatred and wrath. That’s it. The mask is so your enemies do not see your pain. The black lenses are to hide the fire that still burns. The sword… that is your gin-ha… your silver leaf.

    “Life is not so black and white as you dress. Cherry blossoms continue to thrive with radiant color and fragrance. If anything, just to spite this ugly world with their beauty.

    “I guess the blood of your enemies… my blood… that represents the blooms. I understand. One thing that you loved almost as much as your father was poetry. Strangely, in this violent death, I find peace. May your heart also rest, Kira… my dear sister.”



    I love the imagery and the narrative is excellent. I’d love to hear more, especially after that last paragraph. Fantastic work.


    Alexander of Limbo

    i just love this tread so much, GIN-HA is exactly why


    The Atomic Punk

    Thanks prswirve, JR, and Alexander! Believe me, your characters have opened so many ideas in my own head. I love the variety and challenge that you share.

    Next up: Trekkie’s Electro and The Shadow


    Alexander of Limbo

    I have one that i haven’t got around to uploading yet as i haven’t finished the Egyptian Gods set yet. Lets see how close you get to what i’ve got for this one:

    we are the clarity


    The Atomic Punk

    FORSHADOWING (Part 1 of 2)
    Original Characters by Trekkie; Story by The Atomic Punk

    “Good morning, Zara, how’s Fairfax this morning?”

    “Pretty good, Monique. Glad to see you’re wearing something other than a bathrobe for our weekly video chat.”

    “Yeah, speaking of business casual, what are you wearing?”

    “This get up? I’m applying our theory. This suit will be able to generate and manipulate electricity.”

    “What? Zara, I object. The ‘Fulgora Project’ is meant to develop wireless energy transmission. That suit is a toy.”

    “This suit is a demonstration for the Board of Directors. It proves our theory and will make a larger impact than any computer model or slideshow. We will ‘wow’ them at the next meeting. You think that’s a bad thing, Monique?”

    “Let’s make one thing clear. It’s not ‘our’ theory. It’s mine. I was the one who was able to overcome the resistance ratio. We will be able to harmlessly beam electricity with almost zero-percent loss from New York City to Biloxi, Mississippi. That suit makes me think that Coastal Energy is using our efforts to build a weapon.”

    “I apologize. Your work in physics will earn you the highest accolades and respect. The suit is to showcase my skills as the project engineer and architect. The dynamos that I am designing will make this high-efficiency dream into reality.”

    “Not good enough, Zara. Those bastards stole my calculations. Instead of being ‘Bishop’s Applied Model of Radiant Energy,’ Coastal owns the patent.”

    “Oh, Monique, I’m so sorry!”

    “You were too busy tinkering with that suit to pay attention to those snakes.”

    “Not at all. Monique, we work in separate cities. We connect through video and e-mail. Not once did you mention this to me. Nothing in our discussions hinted that Coastal Energy intended to buy the rights to your intellectual property.”

    “They didn’t ‘buy’ my brain. They stole it! Big difference, Zara.”

    “Listen, we can bring this up at the next board meeting.”

    “Yeah, and there will be two lawyers to every ranking member.”

    “Monique, we’re so close. This is important. We’re about to make the world a better place.”

    “Don’t patronize me, Zara. I’m cancelling my flight and signing off.”

    “Please reconsider, Moni*”


    The Atomic Punk

    FORSHADOWING (Part 2 of 2)
    Original Characters by Trekkie; Story by The Atomic Punk

    “Ms. Castellan, good day. May I have a moment?”

    “Of course, Mr. Orr. Please, call me ‘Zara.’”

    “Thank you, Ms. Castellan. You had promised us a demonstration of radiant energy at last quarter’s meeting. I guess the real surprise was that Ms. Monique Bishop decided to quit Coastal Energy. Care to explain?”

    “Well, um, she is rather young and brash. Her decision was regrettable. I was unable to perform the demonstration without her.”

    “I see. Another query, did you know that about 30 minutes ago, CE’s main server was hacked? A computer virus wiped out all information on the ‘Fulgora Project.’ In accordance with corporate security, no other copies exist. You do follow protocol, Ms. Castellan?”

    “Hacked?!? I have no copies, of course.”

    “Of course, I was already aware of that fact. Just validating your trustworthiness.”

    “Mr. Orr, look on the company’s TV wall! ‘Breaking News: New York City and Biloxi experience simultaneous blackouts!’ Someone please turn up the volume!”

    “This is Harold Dobson reporting live for Fairfax News KV…”

    “Hello, Coastal Energy, I am ‘The Shadow’. As you can already see, I am able to take over your closed-circuit television. I am also the one who took New York and Biloxi off-line. I control the power grid now.”

    “… is bananas… b-a-n-a-n-a-s… We’re back on?!? Ahem… this is Harold Dobson reporting live. Ladies and gentlemen, it seems a mask-wearing terrorist calling himself ‘The Shadow’ has taken responsibility for this act of terrorism. We will bring you details as they become available.”

    “Ms. Castellan, where are you going at a time like this?”

    “Pardon me, Mr. Orr, but I need to grab my suit… from the… from the dry cleaner.”

    “You must have an appointment with someone exceptional to run an errand now.”

    “Yeah… you might say that.”



    Great story AP! I didn’t expect you to take it in that direction, but it unfolds really well. I especially like how it hints at the dynamic between them in the future. I’m already imagining what their first showdown would be like…

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