Herr D's CFLs

[LullabyOfTheSin]

As unique as always, Herr D.

Actually, you are so unique, that word unique is too not-unique for you.

You are so Herr D, Herr D! (+2 for new stuff!)

[Herr D]

Thank you, Cliff & Lull-C. The hard part was doubling the sleeve on the companion, believe-it-or-not!

********

The only BLIND spacefaring race to have reached outside their solar system before first contact. The ‘Brikker’ make sounds through their ‘nostrils’ and by rubbing appendages together. They tunnel for food, normally, eating glacial mud. They hibernate in a folded position which allows surprising compactness of personal quarters. They make good money setting up colony buildings and mining equipment on pre-scouted planets and asteroids.

*50thS.T.

*

[cliff]

Not the LEAST bit surprised you would make a truly alien alien. Heh heh. Well done.

[Herr D]

[attempting innocent look] Whatever do you mean by THAT, Cliff?  It’s just an obvious blend of cricket, earthworm, and human . . . it should’ve been thought of YEARS ago . . . [looks at chronometer] Thank you, though–from our perspective, orig. Star Trek did stick to too many regular humanoids . . .

********

“Behind every archvillain facing down a superhero is a sidekick ready to make a name for themselves.”–Camo

Camo took down, restrained, and on rare occasions killed opponents for his mentor while his mentor drew all their fire and most of the media attention. Avastro discovered that the antennae on his supersuit were fake and broadcast that information before being, well, SILENCED. There are some secrets the public might not be ready for, right?

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-CamoHurdlingIntoFray_zpsqwlrxvac.png

*sides

********

“Esther On Routine”

“–I don’t understand this clause. We’ll own the condo, but aren’t allowed to accept packages or move things we find right outside the door or change the hanger on the doorknob. That makes no sense to me. This is the sixtieth floor. No one can even get up here.”

“That, sir, is part of the ownership contract. Not negotiable. You will rescind your membership and be evicted immediately if you are found non-compliant.”

“I’m not saying I won’t agree. I very much want to own this condominium. The Cloud is wonderful and surprisingly inexpensive on this floor.”

“Indeed, sir. Please sign this non-disclosure agreement.”

“Uchhh. Fine.” [signs] “But seriously, what is this for?”

“The previous owner of The Cloud had a granddaughter named Esther. The building wasn’t called that then, and this was quite some time ago.”

“Yes?”

“Esther is deformed and disabled, has the mentality and disposition of a sweet, dutiful, and productive four-year-old. She collects the dirty towels and leaves clean ones. The staff puts out the dirty ones for her.”

“Wait, what?”

“She checks the door hangers to know how many to leave. She’s very quiet. She makes her rounds between three and four a.m. If you see her, the clauses on how to conduct yourself around her are in the section marked “Rules Of Conduct.” These rules DO apply to your visitors and guests.”

[flips pages] “This? No saying anything to her but these phrases?”

“Thank you, Hello, Goodbye, and Good Job. You may also call her Esther. She has a routine. She wears a maid’s uniform, carries an old feather duster behind her ear.”

“Are there other maids I could confuse her with?”

“No, she is rather, DISTINCTIVE, we say, sir. Slightly deformed, warty, thick glasses, barely four feet tall. Our regular maids wear street clothes when on the sixtieth floor so as not to worry her. You must understand, this is how she is.”

“So she doesn’t actually clean the rooms?”

“Oh, no sir. Her keys to the rooms don’t even fit. She has no elevator pass, and she wears an alarm belt to alert us if she ever does attempt to leave. She passes between doing laundry, watching recorded cartoons on a loop, eating the meals we leave for her, sleeping, hygiene, and her rounds. We think she thinks her family is on vacation instead of deceased these fifty-odd years now.”

“How old is she now?”

“Ninety-six, sir. If this is a problem, there are other floors. They are more expensive, but you understand. The sixtieth floor is exclusive to people known for behaving themselves, sticking to routine, and following rules. I’ll be in my office when you decide. Take your time.”

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/2015hm/HerrD-EstherOnRoutine_zpsehleqkmg.png

*OPMC

[Herr D]

“This is a bejeweled bottle from the estate of Prince al-Kadhir, deposed after his mysterious disappearance last year. It appears to be labelled ‘Dangerous’ in badly scratched gold lettering. The rubies are of the finest quality, so let the bidding begin . . .”

*btl-a-pop

[Alex King]

DUUUUDE! Your stuff is awsome! That’s some real art here. But it also feels a bit scary (in a good way!) because when I look at some pictures I really as myself what’s going on in your mind. 😀 Great work, really! Very unique.

[Alex King]

Sorry for commenting twice, but I was watching a few sites back now… I really would like to know how your mind works, that stuff is genius!

[Herr D]

Yikes! Has it been four days? Thank you very much AK. Never apologize for complimenting twice–at least not complimenting ME twice. I like it. Feel free to point out which are faves. I’m the first to remember art is subjective, and so not every piece, or even every subject /genre / treatment / emotional valence is for everyone.

On the subject of how my mind works . . . it just doesn’t quit, that’s all. Horribly distracting when trying to sleep.

********

Well, I’m out of time that I can use on this one. So, in explanation, Vincent and an artist of ANOTHER kind, Dahl had the problem of uncontrolled psychic remote through-a-partner-viewing, and, worse, it was across alternate dimensions. So, to make a long story shorter than the explanation, this is the view one of Evil Wonka’s captives had two hours later during the Knid battle in the background from the alternate (armed) Wonkavator about 100 meters higher and to the left of Wonka’s previous fallback point. Evil Wonka’s castle and the old cathedral where the locals sought shelter are visible in the early morning light.

*masterwork

********

“Hamadryad Under Harvest Moon Discovering Deciduous Pattern Baldness”

*popfall

[Vengeance]

very nice

[Herr D]

Oh, thanx! 250+ layers. It’s a lot of work to use a computer like a paintbrush.

[Alex King]

Holy sh…! That’s fantastic!! Should be hanging in an art gallery.

[Herr D]

Thank you!

********

snap work for Hairy–“Economic Model”

*

********

“Herd Of Vynths Seen Thru Crystal Crevice”

Vynths are attracted to the crystal crevices found on their homeworld. They gather there, mate, and migrate back home. Thus regions interbreed.

*pop-alienlandscape

*

[frostjon361]

Dude seriously? That was amazing. Talk about creativity!

[Herr D]

Um, thank you, frostjon! . . . I can’t figure out which one you meant . . . Hairy says “Economic Model” is drawing in viewers from France to his blog. ‘Vynths’ are actually made by squishing inverted cacti images.

********

“Best Hair Bands Ever Album Cover” Yeah, name says it all.

*ForTheRecord

[Mr. Vaudeville]

Love it! As a guitarist, I appreciate the pun. Top work.

[Author]

Posts