How do you like my new body?

To answer his question:


I will now count the ways I like -- no, make that love -- his new body:

  1. Mange-ridden dreadlock ponytail flying the opposite way from his leap;
  2. Off-center tattoo (?) "X" on his face;
  3. Bizarre xylophone/washboard rock vest;
  4. Veins on the outside of his arms, which frankly doesn't quite seem medically wise;
  5. Two words: Zeppelin cape;
  6. Vampire goth chick arms pasted into his armpits;
  7. Gigantic, rubber-band-bound thighs atop dainty ballerina feet;
  8. Ability to speak without opening lipless mouth;
  9. Three-lobed right kneecap;
  10. Black fishnet for one set of arms -- apparently it wasn't stretchy enough for the massive upper man-arms.

Yeah, I think that about covers it. I think I'll use that line the next time I haul my disgusting body out to the local public pool and when the woman I'm speaking to recoils in horror, I'll whip out this image and say, "Hey, it could be worse!"

(Image and characters ©1993, Marvel Comics, UK, Ltd., from "Battletide II", No. 3.)