Caption Contest 3: Three heroes walk into a bar …

The winner of Caption Contest 2 was Dan Swanson!

Spitzer is a bird brain

And here is the comic book panel you'll have to fill with witty repartee to get a shot at your very own custom drawing as well as all the glory that goes along with winning something on the Internet:

Three heroes walk into a bar …

Good luck! In your entry, please specify what person gets which line of dialog. For instance:

Green Lantern: I can't believe how long that guy is taking in the bathroom, what's the holdup?!
Six Pack 1: Why don't you just whip up a green latrine, GL? And make it snappy, my pants are already halfway down, and I don't know how much longer I can ...
Six Pack 2: ... ooops.

And as always, please try to follow the Sitcom Rule: Don't write anything that wouldn't pass a network censor. Yes, even the stupid ones.

The winning entry will receive a prize of one free custom black and white web illustration by yours truly, of pretty much whatever they want (within reason, so be reasonable Dan!). Here is the sketch I did for Hades, the winner of Caption Contest 1:


(Edited to rearrange the pictures and to remove the note about changing Dan's entry, which I ended up changing back to the original.)

(Top image from “Coyote”, Vol. 1, No. 9, ©1984, Stephen Englehart.
Bottom image from "Hitman" #11, ©1997, DC Comics.)

20 Responses to Caption Contest 3: Three heroes walk into a bar …

  1. Will says:

    GREEN LANTERN: This is actually an intervention. Your drinking has gotten out of hand and we’re worried about you.

    SIX PACK 1: Yeah, man, we miss the old you, the one who embraced life and…wait…

    SIX PACK 2: Holy crap, dollar longnecks!? Bartender! I’ll take 27!

  2. Ashton Jakobson says:

    Green Lantern: Where are all the peanuts in this stinkin bar?!

    Clown: Peanuts? Uh Oh. I’m alergic to peanuts, I thought those were huge sunflower seeds…

    Clown 2: (Burp…)

  3. John says:

    GL: Drinking on the job!? AGAIN?

    Six Pack: Hey there’s nothing (Hiccup)wrong with (Hiccup) that…Besides (Hiccup) it makes it go by a lo… (Hiccup)…lot faster.

    Six Pack 2: And it doesn’t hurt to get (Hiccup) kicked in the balls. Try it! (Hiccup)

  4. John says:

    Green Lantern: I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter how much you drink, she’ll always be ugly.

    Six Pack: I dunno Greenie, I’m 12 deep

    Six Pack 2: And you’re looking pretty good

  5. Count Libido says:

    GL: Look, just because my lantern is green, I’m not using it to make Guinness!

    6P: Aah g’wan! It’s St. Patrick’s Day! Iss m’favrite drinkin’ er, … holiday!

    6P: How about whiskey? Can you do whiskey?

  6. Richard Tale says:

    Green Lantern – Would you please tell him that the costume he´s wearing doesn´t belong to Superman.

    BeerDude – I know that. It belongs to… BeerDude.
    Ouch. My liver is killing me.

    BeerDude – Another beer please.

  7. Frankie says:

    Green Lantern: “Look, all I’m saying is, if your going to be a superhero and wear green, then you need to call yourself Green…something or another.”

    Drunkie the Flunkie 1: “He, he’s the Green Com…Conf..Soylent Green. I shuld know, I trained his daddy in the Sum…bartender, I need a drink.”

    Drunkie the Flunkie 2: “I luv yous guys, did I ever tell ya that? Jay-hade’s got nut’n on me.”

  8. Charles says:

    Green Lantern: “I can’t believe that you smeared glue all over the inside of my costume!! It won’t come off!

    Six Pack 1: Hey, why is there a zipper in the back, here, GL?

    Six Pack 2: Mmmmm…Hot buns, fresh from the latex oven. Now, THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!

  9. icosahedron says:

    GL: Phwoarr! You don’t get many of those to the pound, eh?

    SP1: Stand aside lads, let me show you how its done. I’ll just…

    SP2: Duh! better put my teeth in first.

  10. cybersavant says:

    Lanternheart: “C’mon Cool! We need ya. You’re the best there is.

    Gasman: “Lanternheart’s right Cool. We can’t form the Happy Hour Justice Bar Society League without a leader.

    You always get the ladies. At least then we’ll get to talk to them; (for a little while anyway…)

  11. Jeff S. says:

    Green Lantern: “Just one more game of darts. I know I’ll kick your tail this time.”

    Six-Pack 1: “You better not play again. If you do you can find someone else to keep score for you.”

    Six-Pack 2: “One dart in the leg from GL is more than enough for me.”

  12. John D says:

    GL: “Dude, look I’m not gonna drive! I have no pockets for keys!”

    SP1: “Don’t worry I got his keys.”

    Sp2: “You wanna try and find ’em?” (wink)(wink)

  13. Sean says:

    GL: Woah! Mr. Cool, check out that one! Look at those cheekbones!

    6pack: Yeah boy! Wait, you mean that *GUY*?!?!?!!

    6Pack: I’m gonna hurl.

  14. Snap Zoom says:

    Green Lantern: What! You used my power ring to pay off your bar bill?
    6pack 1: Relax GL. Since the Oans started handing them out like candy you can pick another one up off ebay for next to nothing.
    6pack1: You wanna be less stressed. I think your spandex is on too tight.

  15. Christopher Vogel says:

    GL: C’mon man! Just give me a little taste of your beer! Please?! I never beer before, and my Mommy won’t let me drink it at home.

    Overweight-Beerguy 1: You might as well let him have a sip of your beer. Otherwise, we could be here all night.

    Overweight-Beerguy 1: Crap, man! He’s already startin’ to annoy me. *BUUUUURRRRRRRPPP*

  16. Leiha M says:

    GL: Dude, the deal was, only I wear green! How many times do I have to tell you this?

    6 pack1: Yeah, you should have seen what I was going to wear tonight until Mr Green Jeans here picked me up and made me change.

    6 pack2: Although I must say, I make this outfit look GOOD!

  17. Rob says:

    GL: C’mon. You’d be a great Green Lantern. You already have the right look!

    6pack 1: First thing he’d do with a ring is make a green woman.

    6pack2: *Burp* You know, like yours.

  18. The Doomed Pixel says:

    Green Lantern: You mean this bar has the only bathroom in three miles? I have to go HERE?

    6-Pack: Yup, that’s what I said…

    6-Pack: So…can I watch?

  19. ninjast4r says:

    GL: C’mon Mr. Nicholson! I loved you in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest! I just want one autograph! PLEASE!

    Six Pack: There’s something fishy about this guy. I swear I saw him somewhere before. I DON’T think he’s Jack Nicholson.

    Six Pack: Now that I’m thinkin’, where is my hat? I swear I put it on this morning.

  20. Ashton Jakobson says:

    Green lantern: Dude! I’m telling you, I left my cellphone right on that bar over there.

    Fat guy 1: Keys on the bar? Uh Oh…

    Fat guy 2: I thought that was a piece of toast…(burp…)