Monthly Archives: February 2008

Fruntsh!

Posted on February 29, 2008 by | Comments Off on Fruntsh!

Just like a drummer can create a wide range of sounds by hitting different varieties of the same instrument with a stick, super-heroes can do the same by pounding on different parts of an enemy's body with varying limbs. For instance, if you snap a demon's spine with your hand, you get “Fwak-tchh”, but doing it with your foot gives you "Fruntsh":

Fruntsh

Making beautiful music like this isn't as simple as it seems from the outside; you've got to know the acoustic properties of a whole slew of enemies' body parts, and how they interact with your own arsenal of weapons. I'm pretty sure the characters in "Battle Tide II" (Deathstrike Headsmasher and Crushnuts Bootiewhooper, or something like that) had to take, like, at least a semester of music appreciation before they were allowed into Battle, much less Battle II.

(Images ©1993, Marvel Comics UK Ltd., “Battle Tide II”)

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Posted in OnomontoPOWia, Super-Hero Stuff

Villain with a slice of lime

Posted on February 28, 2008 by | Comments Off on Villain with a slice of lime

I like a villain who starts out cold and refreshing, and finishes smooth. A villain who looks great as-is, but even better with a slice of lime. A villain you can kick back on the beach watching the sun go down with while swaying in a hammock. A villain like Dos Equis ("That's DOCTOR Double X to you, pal!"):

Double X

My favorite part of this beer-themed villain is that the actual Double X is an invisible energy being given life when the original Single X went nutso. Invisible friends? Check. Maniacal leer? Check. Insanity? Check. Yeah, this guy is definitely based on beer. Other super powers? Powerful projectile vomiting, devastatingly inappropriate remarks to nubile coeds, and the ability to crash on anyone's couch at a moment's notice.

(Character and image ©1985, DC Comics, Inc., from "Who's Who" volume VI.)

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Posted in Bad Super Costumes, Super-Hero Stuff

Comics in schools

Posted on February 27, 2008 by | Comments Off on Comics in schools

I've loved comic books since I first learned to read, and part of what motivates me to keep working on HeroMachine is the hope that in some way I am helping to keep that same love alive in others. I believe comics as an artistic medium is the equal to any of the arts, from traditional paint on canvas to sculpture to written fiction. The combination of images and words juxtaposed in sequential order on the page is a powerful one, uniquely capable of bringing ideas to life. Of course the majority of what we in America enjoy in our version of comics is the boot-to-the-face, giant mutated apes fighting Nazis in zeppelins over the skies of New York variety, and I'm fine with that.

But the medium is capable of much more, capable of not only entertaining us but of serving as a vehicle for powerful events and emotions. I can't count the number of people I've known who hated reading before they picked up their first comic book. I'm not ashamed to admit that comic books have shaped a lot of who I am and how I think; I still cherish an old "Captain America" issue where Cap talks about how the United States isn't a piece of cloth or a symbol to wave around, it's an ideal, a set of principles, and the people who are willing to hold to them no matter what.

So I was delighted to read this New York Times article about how a comic book about the Holocaust is helping a new generation of Germans open a dialog about that awful chapter in their (and our) history, enabling people to talk about it in a new, open way that was not possible before. Comics have the power to change hearts and minds, and it frustrates me sometimes that in America, they are still largely regarded as just "kid stuff". Our regard for the medium has evolved tremendously since I was young -- a lot of college courses now incorporate graphic novels -- but I'd love to see them used seriously in all age groups, as in this example from Germany.

Not that I'm giving up my face-kicking giant mutant gorilla Nazi-fighting pulp any time soon, mind you, but there's definitely room for both kinds of comics in our culture!

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Posted in Meta

Name no longer unrevealed

Posted on February 26, 2008 by | Comments Off on Name no longer unrevealed

In the Marvel Universe, major companies sometimes contract with various super-powered individuals to represent them (i.e.Tony Stark and Iron Man). I think I found the guy on Hugh Heffner's payroll:

Prism

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and bet that his name will eventually be revealed as "Richard Cranium".

(Image and character ©1989, Marvel Comics, "The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, Update '89".)

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Posted in Bad Super Costumes, Super-Hero Stuff

Double booted pinata vampires

Posted on February 25, 2008 by | Comments Off on Double booted pinata vampires

I hate feet. They're ugly, they smell bad, and they're poorly designed. The best you can say about feet is that at least they're stuck way down at the end of our bodies so we don't have to think about them very often. But even I don't hate feet as much as Mister Sinister must, because he is wearing two sets of boots to cover them up:

Mister Sinister

I'm not a fan of flaring hip-boots on male characters in general, but maybe that's just because I'm from Texas, where our boots end at mid-calf. But if you're going to wear them, what in the name of all that's good and right are you doing with yet another pair of flaring boots that end at your ankle? It's just weird, and that's saying something when you're talking about a white-faced, lipstick-wearing, double-starred on head and chest guy with a cloak straight out of La Cage Aux Folles. Seriously, getting attacked by Mr. Sinister must feel like getting mugged by a half-exploded pinata. And that's before he kicks your butt with all four boots.

(Image and character ©1989, Marvel Comics, "The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, Update '89".)

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Posted in Bad Super Costumes, Super-Hero Stuff

Better hands

Posted on February 23, 2008 by | Comments Off on Better hands

One of the objectives for the HeroMachine Expansion was to provide a way to get the figure's hands in different positions. It always bothered me that even when holding a gun, when you'd expect a trigger finger to be extended, the character still was shown with a fist. I also wanted you to be able to show the hands splayed, as if they were getting ready to throw firebolts or whatnot. To that end, I introduced a skin with no hands at all, so you could affix other items to the end of the forearm without having to worry about covering up the clenched fist that's there by default on the body. It's the last item in the "Skin-Expansion1" set, and it looks like this:

HeroMachine no hands skin

To go along with this skin, the Right/Left Hand Expansion 1 sets also contain items that have hands integrated into them, so they look more natural. You'll find a hand holding a pipe, some cards, a protester's sign, a hand with the index finger in trigger position, and more. I put together an image that uses the "no hands" skin and two of the integrated hand-held items to give you an example of how they might work together:

HeroMachine Hands Expansion

Since the basic pose can't change (too many items depend on its exact positioning), shifting the hands around is a good way to add a bit of life and differentiation to your character. If you find yourself with one of these integrated items in the right hand, but nothing in the left but a stump (or vice versa), you can also choose a glove that will do as a stand in if you prefer not to use the blank one provided in the expansion component set.

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Posted in Tips & Tricks

GISH!

Posted on February 22, 2008 by | Comments Off on GISH!

I actually met X-Files replacement Annabeth Gish once when she was in Texas working on the TV movie "True Women". She seemed like a very nice lady, and I suspect she would not be pleased to know that in comics, her name is the sound a cyborg's head makes as it's punched off its neck by Brad Pitt (if he were a giant other-worldly Hulk rip-off):

GISH

I wonder what other celebrity last names are matched with shocking and inappropriate sound effects? Perhaps one day we will see OnomontoPOWia references like "JOLIE!" as an ill-fated henchman gets impaled. "CLOONIE!" might be the sound of a gigantic Nazi-style zeppelin meets Captain Death's grenade launcher. I'm sure there are others, but for now I feel like I've been Gished and can't think of what they might be.

(Image and character © 1993, Dale Keown.)

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Posted in OnomontoPOWia, Super-Hero Stuff

The fresh maker

Posted on February 21, 2008 by | Comments Off on The fresh maker

I don't have anything bad to say about this costume, but I would pay cash money for his catch phrase to be "Watch out, boys, Mento the Fresh Maker is here!"

Mento

I hope Mento soon joins up with his villainous partners "Snicker the Satisfier", muscle-bound "Altoid the Curiously Strong", and the crazy-making mentalist "Almond Joy" (because sometimes you feel like a nut ... ) at their secret lair, "The Candy Rack".

(Image and character ©1985, DC Comics, Inc., "Who's Who" Volume XV.)

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Posted in Bad Super Costumes, Super-Hero Stuff

The will to imagine

Posted on February 20, 2008 by | Comments Off on The will to imagine

What makes a geek a geek? I've been one all my life, and while I've always been able to blend in with the "normal" crowd, I've never really been a part of it. What is it that keeps me and thousands of other geeks separate from the rest of humanity? What is the differentiating quality that makes someone a geek?

I've spent more time thinking about this than is probably healthy, and the answer I've come up with is that geeks have the will to imagine.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Meta

Master of his rod

Posted on February 19, 2008 by | Comments Off on Master of his rod

While looking over the always-exquisite George Perez-style cover of DC's "Who's Who" (volume VIII), I was brought up short by this gentleman lurking in the background:

Way to use that pole

Aghast, I opened the book to discover that he's actually one of Aquaman's foes called -- I kid you not -- "Fisherman". With a name like that, you'd expect to find him asleep in a boat with a line in the water and a six pack in the cooler, but apparently he's a little more motivated than your average angler. More the pity for me, the unsuspecting viewer stunned by the character concept while innocently perusing a comic book cover.

Here's a quick note to all of you future super-hero designers out there: never, ever, ever have a character with large pole sticking out of his crotch. And if for some reason you find yourself doing exactly that, by all that's holy do not force him to grab that pole and jerk it towards his enemy to unleash his powers!

I will leave the content of the dialog balloon (undoubtedly filled with cheap innuendos) for this particular image as an exercise for the reader. Some of you will probably think up unbearably clever and inappropriate things he might be saying, and will post them in comments, which will force me to pretend I am dismayed while in reality I cackle with glee.

(Image and character ©1985, DC Comics, Inc. "Who's Who", Volume VIII.)

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Posted in Bad Super Costumes, Super-Hero Stuff