Monthly Archives: May 2010

Character Contest 35 Winner!

The entries for "Character Contest 35: Road Warrior" were oustanding, thank you everyone for putting up such excellent illustrations! I really think you outdid yourselves this time around, so I've got a bunch of Finalists after the jump. Even then, I left out quite a few more that I think were also great, so this is definitely a week you could go through the comments manually and check them all out.

Before we get into them all, though, I wanted to start out with one that made me both laugh and wish that there were a movie or comic in the works for the featured character. I think it will get things off on the right foot, so I turn it over to Ian Healy's "Undead Elvis of the Apocalypse":

And away we go!

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Caption Contest 77

With many and profound thanks to X-Stacy's girlfriend, we are back with another Caption Contest this week even though I already packed up all my comics! Apparently this paragon of womanly awesomeness enjoys taking the dialog out of bizarre comics panels, which in my book would make her perfect were I not married and she not taken. Alas!

Regardless, your challenge once again is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this (very!) random comics panel:

The rules are simple:

  • Leave your entry as a comment to this post;
  • You have one week, the finalists will be chosen next Monday;
  • Keep it clean, appropriate for a broadcast network late-night show.

I'll put up a poll next Monday with all the finalists for one week. The top vote-getter at the end of that time will receive his or her choice of either any one item, or a portrait, which will appear in the final HeroMachine 3 version.

Good luck everyone!

SOD.152 – Babyface

I want my binky, see! Right now, see!

RP: Wait, I mean a NUT! Hit him with your nuts!

(From "Cracked Comics" number 6, 1940.)

Comic Twart

I don't know what a Twart is, but Comic Twart is a blog featuring outstanding comic book illustrations by awesome artists around a common theme each week. Or as they say, "A different character every week drawn by a bunch of TWARTS!" It's a staple of my Daily Art Fix and should be featured in the news reader of anyone who loves the medium. For instance, here's one from the Thing week by Ramon Perez:

Browsing the archives is a great way to find inspiration and blow a couple of lazy hours on a holiday weekend.

SOD.151 – Volstagg on Vacation

Because even the gods need some time off, you know? And if you're a god from the frozen tundra, it only makes sense you'd take your vacation in the tropics.

Also, I like to think there are several small children cowering in terror just off-camera where Volstagg will land his belly buster.

SOD.150 – Volstagg

This is for yesterday, sorry for the miss. Apparently though I have Thor Cartoons on my mind.

RP: Before Reed decided to unlist his number

(From "Cracked Comics" number 3, 1940.)


When last we left our intrepid Lone Wolf, we were deciding whether or not to avoid a thicket of Sleeptooth. Continuing our unparalleled history of conflict avoidance, we chose to shy away from stabbity things and instead returned to the path. Thus:

Keeping a watchful eye on the sky above, you move quickly along the track. you recall that this route leads to Fogwood, a small cluster of huts that have been used by a family of charcoal burners for nearly fifty years. After twenty minutes you reach the edge of a clearing where the huts are grouped in a small circle. There is no sign of the usual mist of wood-smoke which gives Fogwood its apt name, and the huts are unusually quiet.

If we had the Kai Discipline of Tracking, we could turn to 134 and the untold glories that lie there. Sadly, we skipped Kai School that day to go picking daisies and thus do not have the ability to Track. Thus you "prepare your weapon and stealthily approach the huts", turning to 305.

Through the open doorway of the first hut, you can see the body of a charcoal burner lying face down on the rough stone floor. He has been murdered, stabbed in the back by a spear. All his furniture and belongings have been smashed and broken and not one piece remains intact.

This is the evil handiwork of Giaks without any doubt, for they delight in the destruction of all things. A quick check of the other huts reveals a similar story of murder and wreckage. In the last hut that you search, you discover a Giak Spear -- proof of your suspicions. You may keep this Weapon if you wish.

More determined than ever now to succeed in your mission, you continue along the track.

Turn to 105.

Wahoo, Spear! We have the Kai Discipline "Weaponskill: Spear" so we now get to add 2 to our Combat Skill when using this weapon. With our Mindblast, that gives a total of +4, for a final CS value of 23. Next time we ATTACK that bush!

In the distance, perched on the branch of an old oak tree is a jet black raven.

If you have the Kai Discipline of Animal Kinship (which we do!), you may call to this bird by turning to 298.

The head of the bird slowly turns and it curses you. An instant later, it flies off above the trees and has soon disappeared. Shocked by what you have heard you are now sure that the fledgling was a scout of the Darklords and is now probably on its way to inform them of your whereabouts.

Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, if we take the forest track there might be more shrubbery, and even with our spear I don't know if we're up to that. On the other hand a Darklord literally flipped us the bird, and that just ain't right.

(All images and quoted text ©1984 by Joe Dever and Gary Chalk.)

RP: After a hard night of cross-dressing and burritos

(From "Cracked Comics" number 6, 1940.)