Monthly Archives: July 2009

When you mix bad hair, disturbing metallic outfits, and inspiration from the worst music ever created, the result can only be Dazzler-icious Shimmer-riffic!

On the plus side, Shimmer never has to worry about showing up at a party where some other super-chick is wearing the same outfit. So that's nice.

Of course, that's because no one else in their right mind would ever think of making an entire costume from metallic spandex, then topping it off with the worst Day-Glo-orange Afro this side of Bozo the Clown.

You also have to be impressed with the large solid gold (and I mean solid, no clear-center hoops for this on-the-go gal!) disc earrings she's sporting, perhaps acquired in the same discotheque-gone-bust yard sale where she got the bulk rate discount on the spangles for her costume. Because nothing sets off a big white-chick Afro like ginormous flashing jewelry.

What really makes the outfit for me, though, are the completely gratuitous cutouts in the front. As if skin-tight shining metal and a color scheme right out of the left end of the Crayola box weren't revealing enough, some guy (and I do mean guy) at Corporate must have sent a memo requiring the artist to use, and I quote, "more skin."

That was Eighties DC for you, right at the cutting edge of class, refinement, and feminism.

Given all of that, I can't blame Shimmer for turning to a life of crime. If someone slapped those thigh-boots and long gloves on me, I'd sure as hell feel like killing someone too. So you go, girl!

(Image and character ©DC Comics, Inc.)