February 1, 2008: This contest has ended, so comments on this post have been disabled.
After receiving a staggering 136 entries of exceptionally high quality and spending hours agonizing over them, I’ve settled on the top five finalists for the “Win a Free Character Portrait Contest”. You can see all 136 entries in this Picasa web album, and the 46 “Honorable Mentions” in this one. I’ll list the finalists after the jump.
Buddhist monks can waste their time wondering what the sound of one hand clapping is if they want, but as for me and Marvel Comics, we want to know what the sound of one hand crushing a demon alien’s spine is. The answer:
That’s “Fwak-tchh”, from which (which as all linguists know) derives our modern “Fracture”. Marvel, educating the mind and the blood lust at the same time for well over forty years.
(Images ©1993, Marvel Comics UK Ltd., “Battle Tide II”)
Galactus showing up to eat your planet is scary enough, but here’s one of his relatives — Numinus, another universal guiding spirit of that level in the Marvel Universe — who’s even worse:
Can anyone tell me why an ultra-powerful being with the power cosmic decided to host a daytime talk show? I don’t know, but I don’t like it, and apparently neither does Galactus:
You’d think he’d just be happy it was Whoopi Goldberg instead of Rosie O’Donnell popping up in N-Space to interview him, but apparently not so much.
(Edited on January 19 to say explicitly that Numiunus looks like Whoopi Goldberg.)
You’ve only got three days left to get your entry in for the “Free Custom Character Portrait” contest! Entries close at midnight this Sunday, so get yours in before it’s too late. There have already been one hundred characters submitted; yours might end up being the best of all, but you won’t know if you don’t enter.
Hope to see your creation in my inbox soon!
As violent as comics are, I think few things published today can compare to the cold-blooded, matter-of-fact way Batman and Robin advocate for giving the Joker a frontal lobotomy in the comic book record “Trumping the Joker”:
In case that’s too hard to read, here’s the transcript:
You know Batman … the Joker really belongs in Arkham Asylum … He’s a paranoiac who is a Menace to our Society. Maybe a Frontal Lobotomy might help in his case.
It’s good to know that seeing his parents’ brains splattered on the circus floor taught the Boy Wonder that taking out peoples’ brains is a good thing. And to think Child Protective Services was worried that shacking up with a wealthy bachelor might be a bad influence on an impressionable child like that!
But just in case the kids listening along with the album and comic missed the great social message DC is pushing here, Batman brings it up again at the end of the issue:
If you can’t read that, here’s a link to the audio (it really has to be heard to be believed), and here’s the transcription:
Robin … Knowing the cleverness of this artful dodger, who can say for sure … perhaps a Frontal Lobotomy would be the answer. If science could operate on this distorted brain and put it to good use … Society would reap a great benefit … come Robin, into the Batmobile … and home!
I’m pretty sure he’s talking about the Joker and not the current slate of Presidential candidates, by the way. Although now that I think about it …
You know how at the end of every “Super Friends” or “Scooby Doo” cartoon, the gang would gather ’round and all laugh at the conclusion? I get the sense that Batman and Robin are doing the same thing as that tricked-out 1970’s convertible Batmobile screams down the street, chuckles echoing in the cold, soulless, lobotomized night.
So the next time your parents gripe at you for how awful your comic books or cartoons are, whip out this delightful little example from 1976 and point out that their heroes used to try to teach children to rip out their enemies’ brains.
(Although my guess is they’d like to deny it, all images, characters, and audio ©1976, DC Comics, Inc.)
