Poll Position: Team-offs

Our question this week involves groups of characters in primary colors gathering together to beat the snot out of each other. Namely:


Instead of me blathering on about this, I wanted to leave it open to you, the viewing public, who will doubtlessly know more about each of these groups than I do. So have at it in comments, and let me know which of these teams would be the winner no matter who else on the list they faced.

HeroMachine Commenter Force Super Discussion Mash-Up GO!

25 Responses to Poll Position: Team-offs

  1. Timespike says:

    Justice League. You’ve got Batman, Green Lantern, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman all coordinated telepathically by Martian Manhunter. Game over.

  2. Damaster says:

    Dude, what are you talking about? Marvel would absolutely pone the Justice league. Thor just needs to find some freaking kryptonite an their best player is out of the game. Besides, Marvel has Odin on their side, not to mention the hulk who is freaking ustoppable.

  3. Watson Bradshaw says:

    Gotta go Legion, they have,like,over 100 members with powerhouses like Mon-El and Ultra boy and tech from the 31st century. Done deal!

  4. Haxxx says:

    Autobots: huge alien robots with allot of members.

  5. Myro says:

    I’ll actually break this one down in a bit, but one serious question pops up: Which era are we talking about? Given the long history of teams like the Avengers or the Justice League, you are talking about having over 100 former and current members. Also, in the Marvel Universe, almost every single hero alive today has been, at one time, an Avenger, X-Man, or member of the Fantastic Four, many in more than one of those groups.

  6. Danny Beaty says:

    I’m guessing Thor could kick the asses of everyone on that list, so I’m going with The Avengers.

  7. The Imp says:

    I like how Plastic Man is the only one getting his ass kicked in that picture.

  8. spidercow2010 says:

    Well, Giant-Man/Goliath/Whozis is getting pasted pretty good by somebody, but I don’t know who that is (over Iron Man’s head). He looks Kirbyesque.
    I seem to suffer from insufficient geekitude since I don’t know who several people are in that picture. I also can’t identify who is fighting: Hawkman, Plastic Man, Steel, Red Tornado (way up top), or um, the guy whose head is on fire all the time (northwest of Black Widow). Anybody care to enlighten me? http://tinyurl.com/bxusxn

  9. Myro says:

    Imp (6): I like that it’s Machine Man clocking Plastic Man in the face. YAY! Go drunken robot!

    spidercow (7): I’m going to try my best on this one. Pym (or whoever is playing Goliath) looks like he got smacked by Orion of the New Gods. Hawkman is fighting Falcon. Plastic Man (according to my previous comment in this post) is fighting Machine Man. Firestorm (i.e. “the guy whose head is on fire all the time”) is fighting Quasar. I think that might be 3D Man/Triathalon fighting Steel, and maybe Justice fighting Red Tornado. If anyone can correct me, please do so.

  10. TopHat says:

    Thor still has Odinforce, right? Then Avengers, no contest.

    And if were to count all the past members of the Avengers, then that’d mean Hercules would be in too. And Herc is currently the most powerful Skyfather in the Marvel Universe.

  11. tristan says:

    Myro(8) pretty sure its Triathalon but its not justice fighting red tornado its x-ray form the u-foes

  12. Myro says:

    Okay, so I’m going to try a big, Hebert-esque breakdown of this match-up. Also, just to qualify my previous statement (as to which era we’re talking about), I’ve decided that each team can determine a sort of “All-Star” squad of current and former members to form a roster from. These squads must be formed from members who had a significant presence on their team (Sunfire, you were a member of the X-Men for only one issue, so you can sit down), and were generally useful to their team (I may catch crap for this one, but Jubilee also sits this one out). In the event that characters served on 2 teams, the criterion for this was:
    1) If the hero is more closely associated with one team than any other, they are on that team (ex.: Wolverine is an X-Man, not an Avenger)
    2) If a hero can be said to be more or less associated with 2 teams equally, then the team they served on first gets them (ex.: Beast is also an X-Man, not an Avenger).
    3) Fantastic Four, because of their small roster, gets anyone who’s been an official member of their team, ever (i.e. Storm, Black Panther, She-Hulk, Crystal, and Luke Cage have to abandon their respective other teams to be on Team Fantastic, or else the extended Richards family is screwed).
    4) None of this is relevant, because I’m not going into detail about who’s on anyone’s team anyway.

    Furthermore, I’m sure, given enough random happenings involved, most of the better teams on this list could beat any of the other teams on this list, so I’m working on who has the best chance of winning.

    Aqua Teen Hunger Force
    Seriously Jeff? Did you put them in just to be hip and trendy? Unless Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad can convincingly annoy their opponent into commiting suicide instead of killing them, these guys are going to be somebody’s lunch (pun very much intended). I’ll even spot these guys Carl as a decoy target, but they’ll be beat pretty quickly.

    I want to vote for these guys. I really want to vote for the Autobots. But I can just picture Superman ripping the Prime Matrix out of Optimus Prime with his bare hands, or Mjolnir transforming Bumblebee into a couple tons of scrap metal in a single blow.

    This one has some serious potential. There is a variety of power and skill sets held by the various members to make this one interesting. The big question seems to be how much power Thor still has since the end of Siege.

    Fantastic Four
    There’s a reason why I’m spotting these guys so many members. Otherwise it’s just Reed, Sue, Ben, and Johnny fighting, and even still, they’ll be pretty outmatched. The two wildcards in this affair is that they’ll get Nova, a Herald of Galactus (which is a pretty big thing), and Reed’s big brain. I’m sure Mr. Fantastic can cook up a Kryptonite gun or some such given enough time, but can he also come up with gadgets to help him deal with a similarly invulnerable Wonder Woman, or the Daxamite Mon-El, or the Phoenix Force, or a certain Norse God of Thunder?

    Justice League
    Like the Avengers, there is a variety of powers and skills that would make this an interesting choice. One of the bigger wildcards in this is Batman, who has the money, tech, and intelligence to work towards countering the advantages of the other teams, and generally, more motivation to do so than, say, one Tony Stark.

    Legion of Super-Heroes
    Again, like the Avengers and Justice League, there is a variety of powers available, and, unlike the JL, their heavy hitters don’t have overt weaknesses like Krypton’s favorite son.

    Unless they have Jean Grey, and Jean has the use of the Phoenix Force, this band of Mutants probably won’t last long. The one interesting card to play in this is Rogue, who could steal the powers of some of the more powerful opponents, and then put enough hurt on them before they get their powers back to keep them out of the battle.

    For my money, I’m going with the Avengers. Thor knows Rune Magic, has the OdinForce, and a big, smashy, magic hammer to take down most of the bigger players on anyone else’s team. Couple this with the tactical intelligence of Captain America, the vast mystical knowledge of Dr. Strange, and the sheer numbers involved, this team probably stands the best chance, for my money, of beating anyone else on this list.

  13. Sean Murphy says:

    @Myro: Good breakdowns.

    I went with LSH, but it was a close call among LSH, JL, and Avengers. FF have a rep for taking out heavy hitters, so I cold see them winning, but LSH have major heavy hitters and insane numbers, as well as the resources of R. J. Brande and half a dozen scientific geniuses starting off from 30th century tech.

    Mention of the OdinForce and the Phoenix force brings an interesting alternate scenario to mind though – recasting the battle with the most insanely amped up members of the teams – Phoenix versus OdinThor versus Superman just before the Parasite saved his life by trying to drain his powers versus – um, hmm, well versus whoever else fits the bill.

  14. Amscray says:

    Ugh.. Dang it, Mr. JH.

    I voted for The Justice League. Why:

    Although ATHF could break the 4th wall and keep this rumble from hhaappeenniinngg… they lost before they got there.

    The Autobots get destroyed next because Supes and Cap And optimus just can’t see eye to eye. Rust in pieces.

    The Avengers have gods on their side, who have better things to do, like deploying Valkyries into this melee for the real Ragnarok. ‘Nuff dead? By the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak, I think not.

    Someone took down the FF like Ghost Rider did the elementals in the Nicholas Cage movie. ‘Nuff said.

    The Legion of SuperHeroes may have numbers, but those kids lose to experience and Too Much Drama Man.

    The X-Men may suffer from Jean Grey Syndrome, but not in this plane of existence. Why? Because Old Man Logan is tired, that’s why. The Phoenix force is not compatible with admantium. Farewell, soldier.

    The Justice League (in my view) wins. Here’s proof: The JLA / Avengers story, issue #4, cover.


    And this, for me, is reason enough. Ubermenschen wins.

  15. Zforce says:

    Avengers. In fact… Hulk and Thor versus everyone else at the same time… They would make superman look like a joke.

  16. X-stacy says:

    Ah, but under Myro’s rules, the Hulk would have to be ceded to the Fantastic Four (along with Spider-Man, Wolverine, and either Ghost Rider or Iron Man)!

  17. Myro says:

    X-Stacy (16): Funny, I don’t remember the Hulk being a member of the Fantastic Four, or frankly any of the other members. Although, I will admit, Spidey is considered an “unofficial member” of the Fantastic Four, and has teamed up with them numerous times, but has never officially been part of their roster.

    But, I could be wrong. I’m not that big of an authority on the affiliation of every super-team. I had to go to the Marvel database to find out who has been on the Fantastic Four before writing that post.

  18. knight1192a says:

    If you go pre-movie G1, then Autobots all the way Pre-movie you could pretty much blow the Autobots apart then put them back together again and they were just fine. Post movie the only Autobot I saw return from the dead was Prime (and let’s face it Prime was pretty much an army unto himself, most of the Decpticon casualties fell to Prime in the movie). Most of the folks on most of these teams are mortal and a serious enough injury would take them out for several weeks. Post-movie and in fact post G1 and I doubt I’d give it to the Autobots.

    Justice League would be second just because of Superman and Batman

  19. spidercow2010 says:

    Thanks, Myro(9) & tristan(11). It was one of those things I didn’t really need to know, but not knowing was annoying.
    Now, does anybody agree with me that the Atom, in that picture, is about to get pwned by the Wasp?

  20. X-stacy says:

    Hulk, Wolverine, Spider-Man, and Ghost Rider were the New Fantastic Four. Then Ghost Rider got killed, and Iron Man filled in. I think it was an alternate time-line where the original Fantastic Four got killed, maybe? And it was only for a couple of issues. But I don’t see why it shouldn’t count.

  21. Jeff Hebert says:

    I stand in awe at the comic-book knowledge on display here. And I am so, so glad I didn’t post a breakdown at the beginning, because I’d have been exposed (again) as a know-nothing poser compared to you all.

    Love the breakdown Myro, that was well done!

  22. Me, Myself & I says:

    X-stacy (20)

    Wow a team consisting of Hulk, Wolverine, Spider-Man, and Ghost Rider huh. Seems like a poor mix really as their abilities don’e really seem to complement each other. Looning at what they can do you get;

    Hulk: Really Strong Brawler
    Wolverine: Really Sharp Brawler
    Spider-Man: Really Agile Brawler
    Ghost Rider: Once again, mostly abrawler. Well, he’s got a motor bike and a chain, that’s cool but really just reinforces the Brawler shtick.

    Spider-Man does have a few extra tricks due to his webbing so that can’t be discounted.

    Actually, Ghost Rider does have a power set that breaks the mold of the other three a bit with his Penance Stare so he would be useful in some additional circumstances.

    All in all, as a team, they would be really great against certain types of foes but really suck against others.

  23. Bael says:

    That alternate Fantastic Four was during the whole Heroes Reborn mess. They got together to stop some FF foe or other from breaking into the undefended Baxter Building and looting Reed’s goodies.

    They stuck together for a while when it became clear that without the FF around, their extremely powerful rogue’s gallery would run roughshod over the world, and somebody really needed to keep an eye on them.

    Their “team” was just about as disfunctional as you might expect with that bunch.

  24. Amscray says:

    The Justice League (in my view) wins. Here’s proof: The JLA / Avengers story, issue #4, cover.


    I reiterate Supes & Crew.

  25. X-stacy says:

    I’ve read that, Amscray–so I know he borrowed Thor’s hammer and Cap’s shield. With permission and everything. He didn’t crush his enemies and loot their corpses; there wasn’t even any lamentation of the women. Not that he didn’t pull his weight in the fight, but he wasn’t the overwhelming force of victory you’d expect from that pic.