The votes are in and your winner for Caption Contest 87 is ... Doomed Pixel for this quality joke:

Congratulations to Doomed Pixel, who alas has a long history of not claiming his prizes. Maybe this will turn into another bonus for those of you who haven't won, as you'll get to vote on another replacement item!
The full results are as follows for those who are curious:

“Long history” my butt! There’s just the one! Thank you so much, everyone! Jeff, I will e-mail you within the next day or so with my two (it’s two, right?) requests.
Good job, Pixel!
Seriously now Jeff, was the cat one mine? It sounds like mine. Was it someone else’s? Oh and congrats pixel.
:p
Nicholas (3): Seriously man, you don’t know what you wrote? None of those were yours.
Congratulations, Pixel!
DUDE, I made a joke about the hat wings, I messpelled hat into cat because of MY cat. I was asking if it was mine because I made a winged hat joke. ‘cat joke’ is not what I meant to say, Pixel already made that. The last post makes me look like an idiot. I meant ‘hat’ not ‘cat’ joke…
The hat-wings joke that actually made the cut was Gero’s, at #91. Yours was “Damn you winged hat! You do nooootttthhinnggg!!!!”, at #94. Find on page is your friend when you can’t remember what you wrote.
X-Stacy, you’re a smart ass, aren’t you? xD
Gero made one too? Didn’t know. And it seemed like Jeff Re-phrased the other jokes to me. Soooo, never mind.
Congrats Doomed Pixel.
And, if you remember from the contest, I highly recommend the movie “Fandango!”
Of course, the greatest movie of all-time is still “Repo Man.”
By the by, anyone else jazzed for “Tron: Legacy?” I’m finally moving from my 70s kick into the 80s. Adam Ant, R.E.M., They Might Be Giants, Nena, Falco, Hüsker Du, even George Strait!
Atomic Punk (9): The last time I was on an 80s kick, I was listening to a LOT of new wave. The Smiths, ABC, New Order, Depeche Mode, some of the more avant garde stuff by Devo. Wondering if that’s something you’d get into.
I am a smart-ass (better than being a dumb-ass), but that doesn’t factor in here. You asked; nobody else answered. So I did a quick find on page of the entry to find out who made it. And saw your version three posts down, so included that information too.
I’m sure he’ll correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Hebert ever re-phrases the entries. It wouldn’t really be fair. A lot of entries hit the same themes (you and Gero weren’t the only ones to make a joke about the wings not functioning, for instance) and so a re-phrase would just invite fights about which original entry is most similar to the winning one, and most worthy of the prize.
And Atomic Punk, I’m so psyched for Tron Legacy that I’ll probably call in to work on opening day so I can see it twice! Just watching the trailers puts a smile on my face.
3. place for me, great.
As usual, X-stacy is correct, I do not rephrase entries, ever (except the occasional capitalization or punctuation error, but not if it significantly changes the meaning of the phrase — things like the first letter of the sentence or putting a period at the end if they didn’t include one, etc.).
Writing funny, effective captions is a craft and an art. Word choice is extremely important to how well it all works. That’s why comedians spend so much time polishing and reworking and rephrasing their jokes, sometimes changing as little as one word or an emphasis to see if it works better than the alternative.
The IDEA is the easy part. Crafting that idea into the pithiest, most effective, absolutely perfect phrase possible is the hard part. A lot of times you’ll see four or five people who have the same idea make entries. I pick the one that puts it best, that’s funniest when you read it.
Given that, me rephrasing entries would completely destroy the integrity of the contest. It would be like me redrawing character contest entries.
And yes, “find on page” is your friend, CTRL-F in I think all browsers. That’s not a smart-ass response, it was an attempt to be helpful so you don’t look like a jerk next time. Instead of an insult, you should have thanked X-stacy for bothering to take the time to point out a very basic tool for you.
@Myro: Definitely New Wave. Digging into neo-Romantic right now (Spandau Ballet, Roxy Music, Ultravox, The Fixx).
Got nothing but time on this “use or lose” vacation day. So if you will excuse me, I’ve got a Character Contest to win! ;9