Enter .. The Manssiere!

(Edited to Add: With thanks to the excellent commenters below, it turns out I'm an idiot -- who could have guessed?! -- and the Goliath below is actually the Clint Barton a.k.a. Hawkeye version. I am leaving the post as-is because it's funny even if it's wrong, and because the world should always have clear proof that I'm an idiot.)

Goodness knows Hank Pym's gone through his share of identity crises, veering wildly back and forth among Yellowjacket, Giant-Man, Ant-Man, and who knows how many others. So I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that he might have a "Bondage Meets Gender Confusion" conflict as well, as evidenced by his "Goliath" costume:

On the one hand, I have to give him props for being willing to wear a manssiere out in public like that (or for you pro-Kramer folks out there, "The Bro"). Granted, he did butch it up a bit with the big metal rivets on the shoulder straps, but you can't tell me that's not a bra.

On the other hand, I can't figure out how he's keeping that barely-covers-the-shoulders, abs-revealing blue half-shirt attached to his body. Maybe the manssiere keeps it held down, but I can't fathom how it stays skin-tight like that. I suspect daily visits to his local bondage shop are in order for some sort of body glue.

And I bet he's got their Customer Loyalty Rewards Card for the frequent purchaser, too.

I think adding a full-on leather wrestling belt, complete with straps and buckles, in that delightful shade of aqua is a further testament to Hank's level of comfort with his own conflicted sexual identity. Sadly, later he'd abandon his more feminine side in favor of a full-blown, can-we-say-overcompensating leather-clad "Check out the package, ladies!" wife-abusing Yellowjacket identity:

So to all you cross-dressing or transgendered folks out there considering a career in the super-hero arts, I urge you to follow the example of Goliath and not Yellowjacket -- own your identity, be loud and proud, and above all, never wear aqua with blue after Easter!

P.S. On a more serious note, how awesome is that cover?

(Image and characters ©Marvel Comics.)

26 Responses to Enter .. The Manssiere!

  1. Airia says:

    I’m trying to decide which outfit looks gayer. I’m gonna have to go with the Yellowjacket costume because while the Goliath one emphasizes his muscles to the point of discomfort, the Yellowjacket vest is forming an arrow directed at his crotch. Not to mention the flesh tone part looks like he’s walking around half-naked. Now that’s really gay.

  2. Myro says:

    I find it funny that Hank looks more masculine having recently taken his ex-wife’s name than he had in his two previous incarnations.


  3. CPrime says:

    Ummm… guys… I hate to burst your bubble, but… that’s not Hank Pym.

    Goliath was actually Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye, during a time when he took Pym Particles.

    As proof, if you look behind Cap, between Goliath’s legs (quit giggling), you find… Yellowjacket.

  4. CPrime says:

    Seriously, I just out nerd-ed Jeff. I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of that.

  5. CPrime says:

    Let me clarify. Yes. Hank Pym was Goliath. However, the Goliath pictured on this cover was Clint Barton, not Hank Pym.

    The other three Goliaths were Bill Foster, Tom Foster and Erik Josten.

  6. Jeff Hebert says:

    Ooo, man, massive nerd fail! I think you’re right, CPrime, thanks for catching that.

    Do you know where to find an image of Hank as Goliath? I just assumed this was him but clearly not. Dang!

  7. CPrime says:

    Yep that’s Hank as Goliath. For a really good story that features Hank Pym, read Avengers Forever. The Avengers in that story feature not one, but two versions of Hank, as both Goliath and Yellowjacket.

  8. Jeff Hebert says:

    Do they say why he was both Goliath AND Giant-Man? Did he really need two completely separate identities with identical powers?

    Seriously, I think you could make the case that Pym is the nuttiest hero in the business.

    Of course you have Clint Barton is no slouch in the multiple-identities department either, as we’ve seen. Although in his case I’d be hard-pressed to decide which outfit was worse, the purple Hawkeye or this Manssiere Goliath one.

    We should come up with some sort of Rick Jones Lifetime Achievement Award For Multiple Super Personalities or something.

  9. Hawkeye looks so cool JEFF!!! How dare you insult him!

  10. Jeff Hebert says:

    ::shakes head:: Kids today.

  11. ‘Scientist supreme’? What a self absorbed douche.
    I hate Pym, ALWAYS, since he started he’s been an unlikable douche. He even hit his annoying wife! And created the Marvel version a Brainiac! I hate him so. He’s everything I made sure to make my characters not! Dillusional, coocoo, a wife beater, AND, A Douche Bag. Yes, a capital D. He should have it stamped on his shirt & tights. D-man, to the rescue, if he doesn’t beat up Janet and start a fight before he gets there! WOO.

  12. And the Ultimates and Secret Invasion, made him WORSE!!!

  13. Oh a better picture for hank (7) MMI’s picture from Ultimate Alliance 2. It shows us he’s of his rocker. DC already made an outfit like that I’m sure! It has yellow…after all….

  14. Myro says:

    I think the problem was with the initial reversal in the use of Pym Particles reversal, in order to make one grow as opposed to shrink, had somehow caused Pym to go nuts, something about interupting brain signals or something. The process later got refined so no one else who used Pym Particles to grow suffered the same thing, but apparently the damage done to Hank resulted in some of his multiple costume identities. And maybe his later wife beating.

    I think, as much as I don’t like the character, I wouldn’t have been heartbroken if Clint Barton stuck to being Ronin. Or changed his costume to look more like the Hawkeye in the Ultimate universe. It would be a slight improvement.

  15. Myro says:

    That first sentence I wrote in post 16 is the most confusing thing I’ve written in years. I hope it doesn’t confuse too many people. Just a few.

  16. X-stacy says:

    I do love that cover, though. It reminds me of the Heroes in Hell books I read in the 80s. I wonder whatever happened to those?

  17. I want some opinions from you guys, since…well I like you guys. :p

    Do you think my animals are sickeningly cute? Ignore the other photos….Just the animals!
    Click my name if you want to see animals! And ignore the non animal photos! Do it! i share the account! And it has photos from a million years ago. Look only at the animals….ONLY!

  18. Scratch that, to messy an album! ignore my last post! or I’ll have to find and kill you. Sorry…..

  19. X-Stacy, do you, perhaps…have any of those comics still? I want them after reading the wiki… :-p

  20. X-stacy says:

    Heroes in Hell weren’t comics (which is too bad, they would have lent themselves pretty well to adaption), they were paperbacks–short story anthologies and a few novels. I dunno what happened to them; my parents might have sold them at a yard sale, or my brother might have them.

  21. X-stacy says:

    Oops, meant to add, on-topic (sort of)–Pym is currently sporting the best outfit I think he’s ever put together, as the new Wasp. But I can’t really figure why the costume designer thought the red-gold-maroon color scheme needed a shot of glassy blue at the shoulders. Unless his wings are a similar color when extended, that one detail just doesn’t work for me.

  22. Me, Myself & I says:

    Wow, X-stacy (24) thanks to your link there, I couldn’t help but make parallels to my screen name on this Blog. Hank Pym is a multiple personality disaster just waiting to happen. My name Me, Myself & I is a little identity challenged as well isn’t it.

    Well I couldn’t help myself (or was it me who did it? :)); I added a little text to the image you linked.


  23. X-stacy says:

    Your Id is very well-developed!