Poll Position: Honey Don’ts

A day late, but here you go:


Discussion after the jump. Just don't tell your significant other.

Loving a super-hero would be hard no matter what, but I think certain powers in a beloved one would be harder to deal with than others. So which would you most NOT want him or her to have?

  • Invisibility: You'd better not ever cheat. And you'd better not ever pick your nose.
  • Lasso of truth: You'd better not ever cheat. And you'd better genuinely be in love with her. And not think she looks fat in those jeans. What human relationship can survive without at least a LITTLE space to lie in?
  • Sonic scream: Eventually she's going to get pissed at you. And when she does, she's going to scream. No matter what, that screaming is going to fry your nerves, but it'd be much worse if it actually, you know, fried your nerves.
  • Super strength: All I'm saying is, you better not be a great lover, or else in the throws of passion you might end up as TWO great lovers split in twain.
  • Telepathy: You'd better not ever cheat. Or lie. Or react in anger. Or, really, have any male thoughts at all, because let's face it, the male mind is not a pretty sight for anyone, much less your woman.

None of those are particularly palatable choices. With a lasso of truth, you can still get away with stuff by artful arrangement of your sentences, but there's no wiggle room with telepathy. Plus there are some things I think that gross ME out, I can't imagine my wife would ever look at me the same way if she had unfiltered access 24/7.

On the other hand, if you are honest and loving, telepathy would be a great way to have unbelievable empathy and connection with her.

The scream and the strength, you'd basically just have to trust her to take care of you, which a loving person would do. On the other hand, at some point in every relationship you get made enough to want to lash out at the other person ... let's face it, a man can drive anyone crazy some time.

So I'd probably go with Invisibility as the power that would be most desirable to have her have. And at the bottom I'd put telepathy after all, because I'm not a good enough person to have someone else see all my thoughts and still love me. I sometimes don't even like myself, I can't imagine someone else knowing me that deeply and still loving me too.

What about you? Which power do you not want your significant other to have?