Hey, nice rack!

His tagline is "He stalks the world's most dangerous game", but unless that game is deaf I think he's got two very large, very bulky, very obvious problems to deal with before he's stalking anything but a can of metal polish:


Apparently you have to have flunked out of the Fashion Institute to be called "Manhunter" (see my entry on DC's attempted relaunch in the Nineties), unless you happen to be from Mars where, let's be honest, they're very snazzy dressers. Or were, before they all died. Best looking corpses in the solar system though, you have to give them that.

Anyway, this particular Manhunter is all too Terran, and someone has, in what I can only imagine is the world's best fashion-related practical joke, convinced him that wearing weapon racks strapped to your shins is a good way to be a stealthy assassin. I bet he was too dazzled by the glaive-length push-dagger they also gave him (which naturally wouldn't fit in his leg-holders) to object when they were shown to him. "Yeah yeah, metal sword sheaths, check, giant sleeves, whatever, have you seen the SIZE of this thing?!"

I can't decide what's going to give him away sooner, the flapping of his sleeves in the wind or the clanking of his leg-born display cases as he attempts to run over the rooftops. He'd have to waddle like Howard the frigging Duck to avoid banging those suckers into each other, not to mention the effect fifty pounds of metal strapped to his feet is going to have on his top speed.

I've seen a lot of impractical super-hero get-uppery in my time, but I think this might be the worst of all. It's a shame because the overall costume isn't bad, it's just the idea of an elite assassin walking around sporting the display rack from "Bubba's House of Discount Swords" for boots that ruins it.

12 Responses to Hey, nice rack!

  1. EnderX says:

    ‘Glaive-length push dagger’. If you mean that thing in his left hand, then proper name for that kind of blade is ‘Katar’, although the images I’ve seen of them would imply his blade is a fair bit longer than a real one…did this guy study at the Liefeld School of Perspective and Design?

    Incidentally, that extra-length blade would defeat the purpose of a katar; they were punching weapons, intended to pierce armor at close range.

  2. Jeff Hebert says:

    Right, katar is the name of the real deal, but I’ve seen them called push-daggers colloquially and figured more people would know what that was right off than the more technically accurate term.

    And you’re right, trying to punch someone from that far away is no longer a “punch” in my book.

  3. John says:

    What compounds this embarrassment is that it’s designed by one of the all-time comic book greats, Walt Simonson. Great googaly moogaly…what was he smokin’?

  4. Jigglypuff says:

    Yeah this costume is a walking embarrassment to all assassins outfits.

  5. Hammerknight says:

    Say here at “Bubba’s House of Discount Swords” we only offers the bestest of stuff out ther. Those ther leggin knife holsters are in style. Ya see when youuns put these here knife into the slot they fold right up and rep there’selfes around youuns legs reel tight like.

  6. John says:

    Okay, so, like, this is entirely tangential, but…

    …check out this video of Walt doing a Cyclops sketch at a con. I’ll admit to getting a kick out of watching him do that famous signature at the end…!

  7. William A. Peterson says:

    What you don’t understand is…
    He really *is* just that good!
    He’s the kind of guy that could sneak up on you, while juggling chainsaws, and you’d never notice! :->
    Okay, if you’re one of those ‘ninja’ who worry about their Dental Plan, this costume is not for you…

  8. Mr.Vampire says:

    This is like DCs equal opportunity super hero. I went to school with a girl who had similar calipers on her legs, we use to stick magnets on them.
    I think you’re all being a bit harsh, if a disabled guy wants to dress like that and call himself Manhunter, it’s his lifestyle choice.

  9. Hammerknight says:

    Hey on sale this week here at Bubba’s Two swords for the price of three. Yes you read that right, rush in now at these prices they won’t last long. And remember here at Bubba’s we are cheap at half the price.

    Jeff why did you call out Bubba, why of why.

  10. Patrick says:

    The problem is that for the 1970’s, this was considered cutting edge. This costume pre-dated the ninja tidal wave of the 1980’s.

  11. Hammerknight says:

    That’s what the 80’s was. Now I know why thing went the way they did.

  12. thejay says:

    No wonder I cried through the whole eighties period. Come to think of it, I was four by the time they ended, so it figures. Still, a lot to cry for.