Category Archives: Thrusts of Justice

When last we left our alien-suited Cosmic Guardian, we were deciding whether to give our suit to Dale the Purple Mucus or to try and take out the planet-destroying Second Tower in Space ourselves. By a narrow three vote margin (!), we opted for the latter. And thus:

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When last we left our Thrust of Justice (that sounds awful), we were deciding whether to follow Dale’s plan on attacking the super cockroach duplicate guy or not. We opted to go with it, and thus:

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When last we left our Cosmic Guardian, we were considering which of two targets to take, a warehouse with five life forms or a yacht in the harbor with just one. Feeling muy macho, we opted for the warehouse, hoping it’s five henchmen and not the Legion of Doom.

So, yeah, about that …

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The HeroMachine Justice Crusader and Teetotaler Society has chosen to forego the allure of the bottle and a hearty party with our slime-covered super buddy in favor of trying to actually fight crime. It’s an outrage! Or entirely appropriate, I can’t decide which.

Regardless, off we go into the wild blue yonder! If this was the mid-Eighties at Marvel we might be going into the wild Beyonder instead, which isn’t nearly as much fun. Unless you’re Spider-Man and come out of it with new duds.

Is it just me or am I particularly random today?

Ah yes, how well we all know the seductive allure of the temptation to fight evil. Can you blame us for giving in to that sweet, violence-filled calling? Sure you can! This is a blame-first society, get real, people.

Our choice is to take on a warehouse full of five foes or a just one. Now, profiling is wrong, but let’s do it anyway, because who’s going to stop us when we’re carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on our backs, and I don’t mean Dale the Drunken Slime Reporter. You might be tempted to think “Let’s start out slow and go for the singular guy”. I know you might be tempted to think that because it’s right there in the text of the poll. The only way you would NOT be tempted to think that is if you cannot read, in which case explain how you know what these words say! HA, busted, fake illiterate!

Where was I? Oh yes, the problem with thinking the singular target would be easier is that Godzilla also works alone. As does Galactus, Fin Fang Foom, Mr. Megapixel (the extra-dimensional Superman foe who magically causes chaos with his digital SLR camera), and a bevy of other high-powered, butt-kicking foes.

On the other hand, a group of bad guys in super hero comics are usually thugs. And since they’re in a warehouse in New York, odds are good they’re with the Mob, so they might actually offer better target practice. Nothing like beating up on henchmen to get the blood flowing.

Of course they could be Teamsters instead, in which case we’d be in for a whoopin’, alien super suit or no.

So what’ll it be, folks, safety (or death) in numbers, or a mano-a-mano … well, technically a duo mano-a-singular-mono … when did we start talking about mono? I didn’t kiss anyone, did you?! Look, just make a choice already, and tell us why in the comments!

(All text is ©2012 by Matt Youngmark and Chooseomatic Books from the excellent “Thrusts of Justice”, which you should totally go buy your own copy of since we’re only scratching the surface of the hilarity enshrined in these pages).

Shockingly, in our guise as the Cosmic Guardian we opted NOT to shoot our annoying neighbor in the face last time. In this Modern Age of Post-Modern Super Heroing, I’d say that qualifies us for inclusion in the Heroic Hall of Fame right there. While personally I might be disappointed in our upright behavior, it nonetheless has led us to a bar, and for that I think we can all be thankful.

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In our last installment, we were standing befuddled in our apartment in the high-tech alien embrace of our new super suit deciding whether to potentially blow our nosy neighbor to smithereens or beat a hasty retreat. You’ll never guess, but we decided to run!

I love that our alien super suit doesn’t have a built in wifi decoder ring. They should follow the example of Jeff Goldblum from “Independence Day” and just get an Apple computer, since apparently the Mac OS has a universal translator and can hack anything anywhere, even if it’s from an alien tech base.

I think Dale’s one of our reporter friends, isn’t he? Maybe he’ll be Lois Lane to our Clark. Or maybe he’ll be the Kim Basinger to our Michael Keaton and expose our secret identity! On the other other hand, it’s possible he followed one of the other heroes and got bitten by a radioactive chipmunk and is now the living embodiment of Disney’s Chip (of Chip ‘N’ Dale, before they sold out and started a male stripper business).

By the way, now’s a good time to announce that Disney will be doing a live-action version of Chip ‘N’ Dale’s “Rescue Rangers” next year.

Admit it, you can’t tell whether that’s a joke or not. This is how low Hollywood’s creativity has ebbed, thank you very much “Battleship”.

So what’ll it be, kids?

(All text is ©2012 by Matt Youngmark and Chooseomatic Books from the excellent “Thrusts of Justice”, which you should totally go buy your own copy of since we’re only scratching the surface of the hilarity enshrined in these pages).

In our last chapter or “Thrusts of Justice”, we had just been given a warm and very intimate hug by the dying Cosmic Guardian’s alien cyber suit and were deciding what to do (as chronicled in the excellent Chooseomatic book “Thrusts of Justice”, which you should totally go buy your own copy of since we’re only scratching the surface of the hilarity enshrined in these pages). We opted to head out and do some research on the history of the suit rather than chasing after the super-villain Ox.

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When last we left our potential future super-powered individual (as chronicled in the excellent Chooseomatic book “Thrusts of Justice”, which you should totally go buy your own copy of since we’re only scratching the surface of the hilarity enshrined in these pages), we were trying to decide which established character we should pursue. And we went with … The Cosmic Guardian!

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