In our last installment, we were standing befuddled in our apartment in the high-tech alien embrace of our new super suit deciding whether to potentially blow our nosy neighbor to smithereens or beat a hasty retreat. You'll never guess, but we decided to run!
I love that our alien super suit doesn't have a built in wifi decoder ring. They should follow the example of Jeff Goldblum from "Independence Day" and just get an Apple computer, since apparently the Mac OS has a universal translator and can hack anything anywhere, even if it's from an alien tech base.
I think Dale's one of our reporter friends, isn't he? Maybe he'll be Lois Lane to our Clark. Or maybe he'll be the Kim Basinger to our Michael Keaton and expose our secret identity! On the other other hand, it's possible he followed one of the other heroes and got bitten by a radioactive chipmunk and is now the living embodiment of Disney's Chip (of Chip 'N' Dale, before they sold out and started a male stripper business).
By the way, now's a good time to announce that Disney will be doing a live-action version of Chip 'N' Dale's "Rescue Rangers" next year.
Admit it, you can't tell whether that's a joke or not. This is how low Hollywood's creativity has ebbed, thank you very much "Battleship".
So what'll it be, kids?
(All text is ©2012 by Matt Youngmark and Chooseomatic Books from the excellent "Thrusts of Justice", which you should totally go buy your own copy of since we're only scratching the surface of the hilarity enshrined in these pages).