Since both days start with a “T”, my little pea brain got confused and did our RPG installment on Tuesday instead of Thursday, which means now we’re doing our Poll Position today (Thursday) instead of its regularly scheduled Tuesday. Alliteration is hard, people.
Luckily we have a titanic cross-cultural Versus for your Thanksgiving (another “T”, run!) consideration:
How shall we decide? Here are a few of my thoughts:
- On its most basic level, this is a fight between a cube and a sphere. Cubes have eight pointy, dangerous corners that would jab right into you if you bumped into it, but a sphere can really bash your brains in if it hits you in the head. You can stack a cube but you can roll a ball. Rolling is more fun, therefore, advantage Empire.
- Both of these vessels have exposed pipes and rigging, which is very untidy. So on the Martha Stewart presentation scale, both are the same. Let’s get some smooth edges here, what are we, barbarians?! Draw.
- The Borg consists of countless, virtually identical mindless cyborgs who are directed via a dispersed network of energy called “The Collective”. The Empire consists of countless, literally identical clones who are directed via a dispersed network of energy called “The Force”. Draw.
- The Borg Tactical Cube is directed by a black-clad half-human half-machine woman. The Empire’s Death Star is directed by a black-clad half-human half-machine man. Neither can act. Draw.
- The Borg are relentless, merciless killers who trashed the entire Federation and countless other civilizations across the galaxy. The Empire got beaten by teddy bears and their Death Star exploded by a single small ship. Twice. Advantage: Borg.
- Individual Borg soldiers often hit what they aim at. The only thing any Empire soldier ever hit was Alderaan, literally the size of a planet, and they needed the Death Star to do it. Advantage: Borg.
- The Borg gave us Hugh, the huggable cyborg, who had feelings and emotions after snuggling with the Enterprise. The Empire gave us Darth Vader, who was an emo angsty tween before he became the baddest man in the whole downtown before converting back into a pasty-faced Emperor-killing emo father. Advantage: Empire — no one hugs Darth Vader even after he kills the Emperor.
So it’s pretty even. I’ll have to throw it to the audience for more input and evaluation — what say you, HeroMachine nation?