Put me in (the) Coach!

When last we left our Lone Wolf Cub, he was wild-eyed and frothy-mouthed, hanging out with the high rollers and using his Kai Discipline of Reckless Gambling. We had gotten our coach fare of 21 Gold Crowns, but that heady success was not enough for our lustful souls and we decided to let it ride, baby, let it ride!

So this morning I had another go at Carousel, and as luck would have it, I won eight times in a row, including one time nailing it right on the number. In short order, therefore, we hit our max of 40 gold Crowns won, giving us 47 overall, and I lost any chance I have of winning the lottery in real life since I blew all my luck in a Choose Your Own Adventure. Awesome.

Regardless, having cleared out their den of iniquity, we saunter out the door, coins jangling heavily in our jodhpurs (do Kai troopers wear jodhpurs?). Our choices hereafter are somewhat constrained, so I’ll just put them up sequentially without comment:

Phew! That’s a lot of traveling just to get inside a coach. But finally we are shaking the dust of that bandit-ridden fleabag of a town and we’re continuing our quest once again. As directed, I randomly chose a number from our chart, getting a “5”:

Sadly, there is no “Run the bridge, crashing through the gate, flinging curses and middle fingers at the toll taker as you blow through their puerile checkpoint” option, because that is totally what I would choose. Oh well. Luckily our inveterate gambling habit has paid off and we are redolent with ill-gotten gains, so we pass through without qualms.

Wow, I guess the motley collection of humanity you encounter on the subways of New York aren’t that strange, after all.

An unfortunate accident, alas! I hope that means we run into Lemony Snicket. We’ll see, as I got a “4”, meaning we:

I’m not sure how much Hunting skill you really need here … I mean, the food is lying right there on the plate, I wouldn’t think stalking or hurling spears would be called for. But then, I guess that’s why I’m not a Kai Master.

Poison! Either this place is next up on Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” show or somebody’s out to kill us!

Here’s a closer view of our cast of cretins:

And so we are come to this, a gathering of suspects in the finest Kai Discipline of Agatha Christie-ism. It is now incumbent upon us to finger a suspect, folks, so put on your thinking caps!

After you vote, be sure to post a comment with who you fingered, and why.

24 Responses to Put me in (the) Coach!

  1. I almost chose one of the White Knights because of the random, “A true knight…” comment seemed to be a red flag. But looking at the pictures and where the characters are from, I had to go with the priest, Parsion. In both pictures, he has his hood up and you only see one side of his face. Plus, he’s from your homeland and that makes him more of a suspect, to me, because he could’ve followed you or have ties to your enemies.

    Of course, any of them could’ve been hired, so I guess my logic might be flawed.

  2. I picked Parsion because he was all shifty-lookin’ and he was from Sommerfest…Sommersausage…whatever, so I reckon he’s been dogging our footsteps since we left Sommer Camp!

  3. I chose Parsion because there’s just something about that tattoo on his wrist that makes me all suspicious-like. Is that a snake? A dragon’s tail? Either way, not to be trusted.

  4. I went for Parsion as well, pretty much for the same reasons as above. But, it’ll probably end up with it being someone else and then we beat up the wrong person and something bad happens.
    Not that I’m thinking negatively or anything.

  5. The priest, he is abit dodgy…

  6. Kaylin88100

    I voted Dorier because he suggested meeting up in 1 hour, so he might have chosen the timeframe to give him an opportunity.

  7. Danny Beaty

    Look, it’s Lone Wolf! He’s returned from Mooshda Herg mountain with the magic blagargle! Now he can slay the dragon and save the princess, which means this game is finally over! Yay! On to something else!

  8. Good eye, Kelex (3). If anyone recalls, Mr. Striped Codpiece and his two lackeys also had tattoos of serpents on their wrists. Parsion must belong to the same evil organization. I knew I was right not to trust that shady bastard!

  9. I gotta say I hadn’t noticed the tattoo at first. Good thing I read the comments before voting. That priest is a fake! Kill him now!!!!

    or to use the battle-cry of my first D&D character:
    “Kill! Maim! Destroy! Obliterate! Desecrate!” Can you tell he was a “hit first, ask questions later” kind of guy?? :P

  10. My Chekov senses are tingling after seeing that snake tatto on the priest, so I’m picking him…

  11. Finally, my passion for Slylock Fox comics pays off!

  12. I didn’t notice the tattoo. I just don’t trust organized religion.

  13. I agree it’s the priest, for all the reason already given. And Holy Exposition Batman, they finally deceided to give us some story line here. It almost felt like we were in a new adventure, until a boulder crushed the coach driver. Because of course it would. Truthfully, I was supprised that we were able to nap without getting clocked over the head.

  14. Despite Parion’s resemblence to Altair and Ezio, I picked the merchant. He’s lost gold and he obviously knows we have plenty. And, as a merchant, he’s probably had plenty of contact with all sorts of illicit and ill-gotten goods, not to mention corporate espionage. The girls usually don’t turn out to be poisoners in this sort of thing and while the knights are suspicious (and one looks rather like Skwisgaar Skwigelf while the other’s name is Ganon), I doubt they’re the poisoning type. The merchant seems to have the most motive for revenge.

  15. Is it wrong of me to say I chose to finger Viveka, because she’s the only female? It is? Okay, then I didn’t say that. /trollin’

    Spear the daylights out of that Priest!

  16. Ah, yes. The traditional nickel and dime them to death so they go do something instead of hanging around town gambling and whoring phase of the adventure. Good call on stocking up on cash. Now to check off the Clericide box.

  17. William A. Peterson

    I actually picked the Merchant, though the Priest was second on my list…
    Of course, my REAL first choice would have been to do some more investigating, as killing someone without any more attempt to find out who tried to poison you than to glimpse at them seems, not only unfair, but likely to get you in a fight with all the rest of your fellow travellers! {“He’s gone mad, attacked a Priest for no good reason at all! Get him before he kills the rest of us!”}

    I also love how inflationary the economy is, around here…
    One Gold Coin should be enough to purchase a fine Warhorse, not a night at a flea-infested Inn!

  18. William A. Peterson

    I actually picked the Merchant, though the Priest was second on my list…
    Of course, my REAL first choice would have been to do some more investigating, as killing someone without any more attempt to find out who tried to poison you than to glimpse at them seems, not only unfair, but likely to get you in a fight with all the rest of your fellow travelers! {“He’s gone mad, attacked a Priest for no good reason at all! Get him before he kills the rest of us!”}

    I also love how inflationary the economy is, around here…
    One Gold Coin should be enough to purchase a fine Warhorse, not a night at a flea-infested Inn!

  19. William A. Peterson

    Grrr… Sorry about the double post! It wasn’t showing up at all, before…

  20. *checks Colonel Mustard off of his list*

    It was Parsion in the Bedroom with the Poison.

  21. I picked the priest because he looked shady in his portrait. It’s nice to know my knee-jerk dislike is warrented by the sinister tattoo I completely failed to notice.

  22. Ganon just reading that name makes me instantly distrust him but that may be from playing to much Legend of Zelda

  23. I’m an atheist. Kill the Priest.

  24. spidercow2010

    After we kill the priest, can we eat him?