Chastity belts and fists don’t mix

Admittedly, "Night Fist" appeared in the pages of "Hitman", which means he's more of a joke than anything intended to be "serious", but I can't let the Greatest Bad Costume Element Since the Sword Gun pass without comment:

Those are giant wrist-guard punch-knife-style metal gloves with fists on the ends! They're fists you wear on your fists, like boxing gloves only even less functional. By my count, that's at least four kinds of awesome.

Throw in the faux Batman style metallic helmet and the chastity-belt leg chains (?!) and we've got a serious contender for one of the all-time worst costumes in comics history.

Setting that aside, how bad is the actual illustration? It looks like some of the more egregiously rank drawings in "Captain Canuck" from back in the day. His legs are a disaster, the torso looks like it had a bad run-in with an Imperial trash compactor, and I can't for the life of me figure out how he's pointing outside that metal fist glove.

Luckily he got shot to death by a bunch of criminals before the issue concluded, so at least the costume can lie in peace. Or pieces, which is even better.

(Image and character © DC Comics. Many thanks to reader Wesley for passing along this great image.)

22 Responses to Chastity belts and fists don’t mix

  1. Me, Myself & I

    I think the drool adds a nice little tough as well. 😀

  2. Night Fist’s career is over before it really started? Priceless.

    He stole the helmet and boots from Liefeld’s Stryfe collection. The no-split-kicks chain too. WT..?

  3. I like that green beard myself its very stylish.

  4. Watson Bradshaw

    is his mask crying? Other than the lack of mobility a giant chain connecting your legs can be, how much does those huge fist gauntlets get in the way of doing anything other than beating people? You will never get with Catwoman or end up in the next Nolen film with a look like that.

  5. So…much…90s. It’s like a horrible train wreck. I like how this guy has the Liefeldian construct name of combining one ominous word with another ominous word, but methinks he could have mixed some y’s in for those i’s. Like Nyght Fyst or something.

  6. My favorite is the triceps, i think if this character had a sidekick, if drawn the same way, he should have been named Lumpy.

  7. I looked at the fists. Then the chains. Then the mask.

    I’m having a hard time believing this is real.

  8. Ugly though his suit was, it was bulletproof enough to survive his first run-in with Tommy Monaghan and Nat the Hat. That’s not bad for a Hitman character.

  9. You’re welcome …?

    Glad I could share a bit of the underground of comics with you guys, I thought you’d enjoy it! =D

  10. Those aren’t fists you wear on your fists. Take a second look – those are facade fists you wear hanging almost a foot past your fists, with nothing to support them. You couldn’t punch with them, unless they are magic. And because they block his actual fists, he probably can’t punch with his actual fists either. About the only thing he can easily do with those shields is point past them, and even that wold require a certain amount of fiddling and shifting to get the angle right.

    Looks to me like he couldn’t even throw a knife without at least a fifty-fifty change of the facade fist bouncing the knife back at him!

  11. @Sean: I was wondering about the supports, or lack thereof. There really ought to be hand grips.

    Perhaps he could give a vicious backhand … but Nightbackhand doesn’t have near the intimidation factor of Nightfist.

    I love the fact that he “speaks” in a normal comic font until he gets to his name … I wonder if he mentions that it is trademarked before he gives a backhanded compliment.

  12. Discombobulation has a drooling face, some weird S&M knee-chain, and moss growing on its chin.

  13. its impossible to hit anybody hard with these… clip-on-fists. the construction is just so horribly wrong. his superpower would have to be that he can ignore all laws of anatomy and physics.

  14. Well, to be fair, that was a pretty common power in the 90s!

  15. My thighs are three times thicker than my head! And I can carry and fire a gun as big as a house, with one hand!

    Yeah, I see nothing unusual about 90s comic book characters.

  16. Me, Myself & I

    Well, seeing as there are no straps or hinges, etc. on these fist contraptions, it also looks like they are there to stay. His real fists are to big to fit through the (apparantly metal) straps. Walking arund like that as his alter ego has really got to be inconvenient.

  17. Reminds me a bit of a Marvel villain whose hands have both been replaced by swords. How does he go to the bathroom?

  18. I’m figuring he grabbed the costume off a porn movie set!

  19. What are those yellow blombs below his crotch? Dingle berrys?

  20. I sure hope they are not dingleberries! Or he’s got an even more serious problem than his costume…

    I think they are supposed to be the lights of the city, out of focus. Kind of like throwing some dots at a tree in a picture to lazily suggest leaves. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.