Bulletwrong

Grant Morrison has many wonderful accomplishments in his comics career, but desecrating the memory of Bulletgirl threatens to send that legacy spiraling down into a howling suckhole of wrongitude:

Why would someone feel the need for eye protection from flying debris -- caused, remember, by flinging yourself through objects by the head -- but leave their entire upper body exposed like that? For that matter, I'd put the over-under on how many times she can fly through something without tearing that halter top off at 1.

The whole design is just so adolescent school boy I can't stand it. One of the best things about the old Bulletman comics was what a strong character Bulletgirl was in her own right, a true partner instead of just a sidekick. And part of that allure was that she wore basically the same costume, because she wasn't there to turn on the bystandards, but to fight crime. And to fight crime, you need to put on your ass-kicking clothes, not your ass-shaking faux-stripper outfit.

Don't even get me started on the exaggerated phallic symbol helmet she's got on here. Just, no.

(Many thanks to reader PCFDPGrey for sending this one in.)

15 Responses to Bulletwrong

  1. i really think you just like complaining. how is that helmet that much different than the original? They are both the same shape and just as stupid looking. As for the goggles, maybe she wants to keep crap out of her eyes. Which would make lots of sense if she flies.

  2. Well, J, the name of the column is “Bad Super Costumes”, so you’ve no one to blame but yourself if you’re shocked that the content contains complaints. If you prefer sweetness and light, feel free to check in on Saturdays for “Things I Like“. But I think you just like complaining about my complaining.

    As for the helmet, this iteration is much, much taller and pointier than the original. The cheek guards are flimsier, so it looks more unbalanced — I would think she’d topple over from being top heavy. And it’s silver, which is more like an actual bullet, but for that reason is even more lame.

    The goggles wouldn’t bother me if she weren’t wearing a bustier. No one seriously worried about debris is going to go crashing through walls in that outfit. Which makes the goggles superfluous. And pink.

    Knowing Grant Morrison, all of that is intentional. It’s still painful for me to see a character I liked, arguably one of the very first powerful female super-heroes, treated like a tarted up stripper who just escaped from the set of the latest Conehead movie.

    The original was fun and whimsical, but serious at the same time. This is just obnoxious.

  3. If it is any consolation, I believe in one of the issues of the Bulletgirl miniseries, the older Bulletgirl does chew out the newer Bulletgirl, especially concerning the costume. Hey, I like the costume, but I reahed my emotional maturity at 13.

  4. Who was the artist for this? Couldn’t have been just as much the artist’s fault?

  5. @Jeff:Yeah, that helmet is just ridiculous. Is her skin metallic? Metallic skin would explain why she doesn’t care if debris hits her skin. Is the glow coming from her helmet? I hope that glow isn’t the glow of pregnancy! I feel sorry for the doctor that has to catch the bulletbaby shooting out of her womb.

  6. I think she’s supposed to have metal skin, yeah. It’s not the risk of injury even that’s so irritating (although it is), it’s the fact that the bustier or halter top or whatever is going to get ripped off the first time she crashes through a wall, bringing the unfortunate phrase “Bullet nips” to life for sure.

  7. Is it wrong that I’m picturing this Bulletgirl engaged in hot sweaty monkey-love with the Silver Surfer?

  8. lol@Imp!! Yes, that’s wrong. Very, very wrong.

    I want visuals on my desk in the morning.

  9. Visuals?

    1. Go to your kitchen drawer.
    2. Remove two spoons.
    3. Knock them together repeatedly.
    4. Repeat step 3 until satisfied.

    😀

  10. dementedtheclown

    Now all we need is a guy playing the banjo, and a hillbilly blowin two jugs n we got a show

  11. Maybe she uses the same kind of double-sided tape or whatever Emma Frost uses to hold her costume up? I mean if that whole flesh-x logo costume can work, I don’t think Bulleteer has anything to worry about :/

    But yeah, she does have the whole unbreakable skin thing going for her so no real need for ‘protection’ like that.

  12. How ’bout a threeway with Colossus thrown in?
    Colossus+Bulleteer+Silver Surfer = Metallic fun zone…
    Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist.

    Anyway, Jeff; I don’t recall have you done a contest for the best bad costume? That could be fun to do!

  13. Hm, we did one for a Nineties Costume, but another type of Bad Costume Contest would be interesting. I’ll have to think about that.

  14. I think I need to draw bulletgirl, and make a better costume.

    Maybe we all should,so I don’t feel as bad with my crappy art..:D

  15. It’s…the Amazing SUPPOSITORY WOMAN!!!