Monthly Archives: December 2008

Caption Contest 40 winner

The winner of the hotly contested and very difficult to judge Caption Contest 40 and a custom black and white illustration by yours truly of whatever he or she likes is ... Fishpants!

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After a lot of mental wrangling I chose this one because a) just what the hell IS he a doctor of, anyway?, b) thinking it's in podiatry made me laugh, and c) the casual tone of the reply fit with the way the figure is standing and the gentle tapering of its fingers. Its fingers of DOOM!!

Ahem.

The other notable Honorable Mentions as I saw them were:

  • Ed: FOOL! HOW DARE YOU DEFY — oh, yeah, I can hold….
  • Jester: Hello, Mr. Yakatori? My name is Victor von Doom, and I’d like to talk to you about joining my new world order…
  • Loki: No I don’t want to vote for him! leave me alone!
  • Dave: 1) NO! Doom does NOT want to switch his long distance! 2) Doom WILL have two large pies with extra cheese! 3) Doom demands your supervisor! Doom did not spend $700 on text messaging!
  • Frankie: “What do you mean he can’t come to the phone right now? Do you have any idea what I’M doing right now?”
  • Meg: Alright, I’ve opened Control Panel, what do I do if it’s still flashing?
  • Zincspider: Stop calling Tony… Yes, your movie was better, I don’t care… are you drinking again?
  • Timespike: Hello and welcome to the supervillain hotline. This call may be recorded for quality purposes. For account information, press 1. If your doomsday device is malfunctioning, press 2. If the heroes are knocking on your door, press 3. If your costume is out of date, press 4. If you need to rent more minions, press 5. If you need to punish the fools, press 6. If you need help deciphering ancient tomes, press 7. If your second in command is in league with the heroes, press 8. If your army of mind-controlled giant robot ant-sharks with laser beams on their antennae has stopped working, press 9. For all other calls, press 0, and a representative will be with shortly. Your call is important to us.

I think Dave best nailed the way Doom would actually talk on the phone. I liked Meg's line because it made me imagine myself getting Doom on the phone back when I worked tech support for Dell and ... ouch. But they were all good in their way, and I thank everyone who submitted an entry. Nice job everyone!

Check back in the next little while for Caption Contest 41 and your chance to win your own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason)!

Random Panel: I bet a NON-super midget body only has enough strength to break a beaver's neck

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Poll Position: Powergranter

This week's Christmas-season Poll Position puts you in a position to grant a very unusual gift:

{democracy:62}

Discussion after the jump.
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Random Panel: Bad reactions in the maternity ward

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Real life costumes

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(Image ©Hero-Gear.net.)

If you've ever wished your HeroMachine design could come to life in three large-as-life (which in my case is quite large indeed) dimensions, Hero-Gear.net can now make your dreams come true! I love that several of the designs were laid out in HeroMachine first, I feel like I've helped make the world a more colorful place.

I wonder if the people ordering these are just having a lark or if they really, you know, think of themselves as actual super heroes? If the latter, one would hope they'd have the sense not to send in their photo and testimonial as that's pretty much Rule Number One in the "How To Protect Your Secret Identity" manual.

Note that there's a separate manual for how to keep your secret identity secret if you're a movie super-hero instead of a comic-book super-hero. It only has one rule in it, though -- "Don't get a girlfriend, because it's mandatory for every single movie super-hero to reveal their identity to the first hot chick who locks lips with them."

The sound of yellow

My first guess upon hearing "tinkle" in a bar where two men are about to try and kill each other would be that I'm experiencing the sound of someone about to need a new pair of chaps, but I'd be wrong:

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I don't care how much fine china he hurls, there's nothing scary about a man with feet that small, stuffed into high-heeled cowboy boots, mounted by highwater, rolled-cuff blue jeans. Combine that with a "threat" to "throw lead" with, one assumes, the same limp-wristed lack of athleticism as the glass in question, and I think involuntary bladder-loosening is the last thing we have to worry about. Laughter, yes. Wetting pants with a "tinkle" sound, no.

Random Panel: The Gayest teen comic ever? If you say so, pal.

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(From an ad appearing in "Dizzy Dames" 3, 1952)

Random Panel: When nerds party

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Precogview: Why "Watchmen" will probably suck

I reread "Watchmen" last week to prep for the movie, and it only confirmed what I have long suspected, since the first time I heard they were making a movie out of it, actually:

Any "Watchmen" movie will suck.

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Random Panel: Um, that's not what "catfight" is supposed to mean …

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