Great moments in creepy super-hero slogans

(From "Super Mystery Comics" volume 2, number 1, 1941.)

Caption Contest 95: Buried Alive!

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The presence of the headline and narration box adds a little wrinkle to this one. Is the other fellow yelling words of encouragement? Mockery? Vengeful triumph? Only you can decide!

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

Character Contest 59 Winners!

Many thanks to everyone who entered Character Contest 59 - Pisces, there were some great submissions. I've gathered together some of the ones I found particularly noteworthy as our slate of Finalists; I hope you enjoy them!

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A midget AND a spy!? That’s practically a super-hero!

(From "Super Mystery Comics", volume 2, number 1, 1941.)

RP: Worst. Circus. Ever.

(From "Super Mystery Comics", volume 2, number 1, 1941.)

Power User Profile: DiCicatriz

This week's "Power User Profile" features multiple Character Design Contest winner DiCicatriz!
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RP: And you thought YOUR job sucked

(From "Super Mystery Comics", volume 2, number 1, 1941.)

Sharing Day, Emo Style

I need a break from Open Critique Days, though they'll return next week, but in the meantime I thought it would be fun to have another Sharing Day!

Here’s the deal:

You can ask me any question you like about whatever you like, which I will answer either completely truthfully or not at all (in which case you can ask something else). I say that because, come on, there are some things no one should have to know.

But you can only do so if you answer the following question about yourself (note that you don't have to ask me anything, if you'd rather not, but I'd still be interested in your answer):

What's the most emotional you've gotten over a piece of geekery, whether it be an RPG session, computer game, movie, novel, or what have you?

Here's my answer for that one:

Like everyone who's not dead inside, I cried at the end of "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan". But the bit of geekery that still gets me all teary even after having read it literally dozens of times is a very simple, unaffected short novel by Anne McCaffery, "Dragonsong". I always lose it at the end when she finally finds acceptance ... What's even weirder is that since I was in a "Fruity Pebbles for breakfast and lunch and dinner" phase when I first read it, I literally can smell that cereal every time I read the book. Bizarre.

Now it’s your turn! Try to keep them relatively clean and of the legal, non-lethal-if-known variety, please.

RP: Also, giant space beavers

(From "Planet Comics" number 3, 1940.)

Forward to the Past!

Your voice has been heard, and rather than repeating our sojourn into the future, we've decided to change tactics and plunge backwards into the stream of time. Meaning the stream of time is flowing backwards, not that we're swimming backwards. Because that's a good way to drown.

Maybe in the past we can pick up some good tips on better metaphors.

Regardless, here we go!

You are in a cave, close to the entrance. For a minute it feels as if your mind has become detached from your body -- the feeling of being transported through time. Looking out, you can see that you are high on a mountainside. A vast landscape of plains and lakes and patches of forests stretches beneath you. There is no sign of human habitation. You wonder if you are living thousands of years in the past, perhaps before the appearance of human beings. In the distance you notice dark moving specks, what might be a herd of grazing animals. Where there's life, there's food, and hope for survival you think.

OK, fine, rub it in that we went to the Earth of the future where it's all a big huge wasteland. I didn't think the Oracle of Time was so vindictive!

You sense a presence nearby. You whirl around, and your eyes meet other eyes. They belong to a boy who looks older than you, though he is a bit shorter. His wavy brown hair is shoulder length. he is naked except for crudely fashioned shorts made of animal skins. He looks more solidly built than any boy you remember. His muscles bulge as if he has been weight lifting. His bushy eyebrows are set on bony ridges above his eyes, giving him a brutish look; yet there's something sweet and friendly in his expression.

"Hello," you say.

"Iaark," the boy replies. He steps close and stares at you. At that moment you hear a deep-throated growl. In the dim light near the back of the cave, you can make out an animal of monstrous proportions -- a gigantic cave bear, larger than any bear in your own time! Terrified, you stand watching.

And really, that seems to be what we're best at -- standing in terrified paralysis in the face of danger.

The bear edges closer.

The boy touches you. "Narga," he says, and pulls at your arm, then starts climbing the sheer wall of the cave, gaining handholds on rough niches in the rock. You watch with amazement as he pulls himself up by his arms alone. A moment later he slips into a cleft in the rock, safely out of reach of the bear. The bear follows the boy with his eyes, then turns toward you and growls so loudly it shakes your bones. You'd better do something fast!

[polldaddy poll="4735803"]

The fundamental question here is, does "Narga" mean "Follow me" or "Good luck being that bear's lunch"? And do we have the arm strength to climb up that wall with a giant bear chasing us?

You decide, we report!