You're Going to Die IV

If you're just tuning in, our goal is to write our own Choose Your Own Adventure where every choice is twofold, with one leading to further adventure and the other to a gruesome death. Last week featured:

B: Shrug and continue eating:

Meh. Whoever this guy was, he didn’t have a great taste in tattoos, but he did have a GREAT TASTE. You finish the bag off, and lick you fingers. You scrumple up the Jack’s Links packet into a ball, and proceed to throw it into the waste paper bin on the other side of the office. It runs along the ridge of the paper bin twice before finally falling in. Hey, this is great! You think you’ve just invented the latest sport: waste paper golf. You’re surprised nobody has ever done this before. God, you’re an absolute genius. You’re about to scrumple all of your important legal documents into balls to continue your newfound sport, when Angeline walks into the room and sits in her cubicle. You know Angeline is like, really into you, because she was totally checking you out at the last Christmas shindig. Well, either you, or the tall, handsome guy standing next to you. Nah, it was definitely you.

You’re now conflicted. Do you:

A: Continue honing your paper ball throwing skills.


B: Walk over to Angeline, and give her your best pick up line.

All five entries were very fun, and I encourage you to go take a look when you get the chance. But the official continuance comes to us by BenK22! But first, here's what would have happened had we gone with trying to give Angeline a pick up line:

B. Walk over to Angeline and give her your best pick-up line.

Plucking up your courage, you stand, wipe your sweaty palms on your pants, and walk over to Angeline’s cubicle. Leaning over the top, you swallow nervously and try to remember the line you memorized as you were walking over.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

You wipe the sweat off your hands again and swallow hard. “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

“Seriously?” she asks.

You shrug.

“It’s not enough that I work harder than everyone else here, but now I’ve got to listen to lame pick-up lines from the loser in the cubicle across from me?”

You frown at the floor. Embarrassed, you feel your cheeks and the tips of your ears grow warm.

“Is there a problem?” a man asks.

Turning around, you see the tall, handsome guy from the Christmas party. What was his name?

“This guy was just leaving, Chris,” Angeline tells him with a pointed glare in your direction.

Chris! Of course! He’s a lot bigger than you remember. Is he Angeline’s boyfriend? Oh crap! Better beat a hasty retreat.

Turning away from Angeline’s cubicle, you sprint down the hall. Unable to turn away, you slam into the window, but it doesn’t break. With a groan, you fall to the floor. Blood trickles from your nose.

Getting shakily to your feet, you stumble toward the stairwell. Stubbing your toe as you open the door, you reach out your hand to grasp the handrail, but miss. You watch in slow motion as your hand passes the rail. Your face hits the second stair, then your feet tumble over your head. You begin to wonder if fate would have been kinder had you used your other favorite line, “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven.”

You fall down the stairs and crumple into a heap at the landing.

Unfortunately, you have broken your neck. Your office escapades end here.

The End.

Ouch! I've heard of falling on your face in a dating situation before but that's the worst yet. Luckily, we have another option:

A. Continue honing your paper ball throwing skills.

As another wadded up paper ball bounces off the rim of the waste paper basket, you get the distinct feeling that someone is watching you. You shrug it off, however, and continue to crumple up your “important” meeting notes and show-off your skills to whomever is watching. Hopefully, it’s Angeline.

This time, the ball goes in! “Yes!” You shout while pumping your fist into the air, “200 points.”

“That’s the first one I’ve seen you sink,” Jimmy, the boss’s kid says.

Startled, you try to compose yourself. In your excitement, you had forgotten someone had been watching you. “Well,” you reply snarkily, “Maybe each basket is worth 200 points.”

“I’m telling my dad,” he retorts. Then runs off to your boss’s office.

Oh crap! This could ruin your day…well, more than your day. What if you got fired? What if you got fired! There’s always unemployment…

Do you…
A. Chase after Jimmy
B. Let Jimmy report you to his father?

Now it’s your turn! Write up the results of Choice A ("Chase after Jimmy") and Choice B ("Let Jimmy report you to his father"), with one ending in death and the other presenting us with two options from which to choose. I can’t wait to see what you come up with!