My full-time (non-HeroMachine) job might keep me from actually getting to these before this evening, but it's time for another Open Critique Day!
If you have a HeroMachine illustration or another piece of artwork you've done that you'd like some help with, post a link to it in comments along with your thoughts on it -- what you think is working, what you're struggling with, etc. I will post my critique of the piece, hopefully giving some tips on how to improve it.
Of course everyone is welcome to post their critiques as well, keeping in mind the following guidelines:
- Make sure your criticism is constructive. Just saying "This sucks" is both rude and unhelpful without giving specific reasons why you think it sucks and, ideally, some advice on how to make it better.
- Each person should only post one illustration for critique to make sure everyone who wants feedback has a chance.
- I will not critique characters entered in any currently running contest, as that doesn't seem fair to the other entrants. You can still post it if you like for the other visitors to critique, but I will not do so.
That's it! Hopefully we can get some good interaction going here and help everyone (me included!) learn a little bit today.
I just saw this on Project: Rooftop, the new Iron Man armor for Iron Man 3.
http://www.tencentticker.com/projectrooftop/2012/08/03/movie-makeover-iron-man-armor-for-iron-man-3/
Discuss…
http://i961.photobucket.com/albums/ae99/dhabirunner/AmericanFlag.png
Arsonik von Bode is a cross between Vaugn Bode’s “Cobalt 60” and the Ralph Bakshi character he inspired, Necron 99 from “Wizards.”
http://i1018.photobucket.com/albums/af309/skybandit/ArsonikvonBode.jpg
To me, it just looks like they reversed the colors. No big changes, kind of a let down…
A Sci-Fi character i’ve been wantin to get reviewed for a while
I like everyones pics so far
Unfortunately last night I opened continue to see that my 50+ creations were gone, so I have nothing to show today.
I’d like some feed back on this one.
The Patriot III:http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/kaldath/2012/07/Patriot-III-HM3.PNG
The Wraith
http://fav.me/d4zklpc
Current Members of the Justice Initiative Left to Right: Fulminare, Dr Justice and Sentinel
http://s1053.photobucket.com/albums/s468/talarei07/?action=view¤t=JI.jpg
I am currently trying to brainstorm the clothing of an NPC in a new story arc to playtest the game I’m making, and I have little to no idea of how to make the specific design. Basically, the look I’m trying for regarding the clothing is a combination of “skimpy” and “steampunk.” I’ve tried looking online for pictures of clothing which would qualify as both, but what I got was basically too much of one trait and not enough of the other. You know, either “skimpy” or “steampunk,” as opposed to both in equal measure.
So far, this is what I’ve come up with for the clothing, as brainstormed on Heromachine 3.0. One thing I feel must be mentioned, just to give you a better idea of what I have so far: you’ll notice a dark brownish-gray area on the dress; that is not the front of the dress, but rather the interior of the back. Anyway, what I’m basically having trouble with is making it both more revealing and more steampunk-ish, whereas right now it just seems like an inconsistently-revealing dress with some dials and test tubes tacked on.
In case it helps you to get an idea of what I want, the character is basically a rather anime-esque (despite my general lack of enjoyment of anime) depiction of a steampunk tinkerer, who also belongs to a specie that is usually obsessed with beauty (and she is no exception).
http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/jadebrain/2012/08/Kitsana-Clothing-Reference.png
Did you update Flash with an Adobe update? That’s usually the reason lose their files…Make sure you save your text files so that doesn’t happened to you twice.
The last times i out of inspirations and i really haven’t got any own idea. So i ask permissions to remade characters from other heromachine users. i remade that character where i see something cool and interesting. So it’s hard to choose wich i ask critique i love them and know to not perfect, but i want to know what all of you think for my work. So very hard to choose one picture. So i use a D6 wich picture i ask critique. The result is 5 and the Fifth picture is…
Vampyrist – Genevieve “Eve” Porter. A wonderfull illustration from Vampyrist Magie Noir series. I love the basic design of this character and i don’t want to make bigger changes. I really glad to Vampyrist give me permission to remade his Original Character.
http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/tarkabarka/2012/07/Vampyrist_Genevieve_Eve_Porter_Remade.png
I like the design and the items you have selected. Where I would go different would be colors and sizing. I would mute the blue in the costume to make the swords stand out make them more the focus. If I ran into him in the street I wouldn’t go what a cool costume he had, I would be more like “Holy S###, cool swords!”
For sizing I would make any armor pieces slightly bigger to show they are armor pieces making him more bada$$.
Overall the layout with the background and posing is great! Cheers!
Awesome character! I would play with your colors abit more. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different shades. You first figure’s color blend together to much. I prefer the second with the sleeveless arms becuase it breaks up the black shades.
So I’m currently remaking all of my old characters.
http://i.imgur.com/UWkI5.png
Here’s the improved “Wild Card” character, who I’ve decided to rename Durante Vincitorio.
Great looking character! You captured the feel to this violent pic with your item choice and colors. I like it!
Nice pic! I would re-visit his facial features again dropping his mouth a little lower and maybe resizing his mask, but I don’t think he can hear me because he has no ears….
What an awesome pose (kiddin’)! You structured you image very well, but when I first looked at it my eye went right to the background. All your foreground colors blend with the same black and grey you have chosen. Experiment with that and I think you will get the effect you are looking for.
a little experiment, planning on making a team piece.
http://i1111.photobucket.com/albums/h476/surs1/hm3-beta7.png
I went ahead and altered my time-skip group photos from the last OCD, taking into account positioning and everything to more clearly connote that the characters involved were the same (as you noted), but older. Plus while I was at it I pretty much re-designed eeeeeverybody. More of a share I suppose, but tell me what you guys think anyway 😀
Contemporary (L to R we have: Wraith, Howl, Sad Bastard, Kid Chaos, Rift, Máximo, and Foundry)
http://i1126.photobucket.com/albums/l607/DiCicatriz/Kid%20Chaos/Group/ChaosKids_GroupRev1.png
Fifteen year skip (L to R we have: Wraith, Howl, Reverb [their daughter- who is aged to her twenties due to a brief problem with her posthuman physiology], Kid Chaos, Sad Bastard [piloting the MechaBastard], Rift [retired], Máximo [all grown up], Foundry [having barely aged due to her biometal form], and Quatra [a transplant from another now defunct superteam]
http://i1126.photobucket.com/albums/l607/DiCicatriz/Kid%20Chaos/Group/CK_FT_REV_X.png
PS- Special thanks to AMS’s contest entry (Lamprey I believe it was) last week for showing me how to make the strapped boot look cool from a head on angle.
Suggestions for his 3 kneecaps? Not much fuzzy-looking stuff.
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u438/jamais5/hm3/HerrD-EscapeeFromLabJ.jpg
Here is one of my past entries into the Big Bad contest who I’d like to get critiqued. Anarchy is basically the personification of chaos.
http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/vampyrist/2012/07/Vampyrist-Anarchy.png
Something just doesn’t click with this one. Maybe you guys can help me out.
http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/misterdinoman/2012/07/Elasta.PNG
Aaron: Is the hood supposed to be closed? I would use insignia (dark)behind the open space.
Skybandit: With that particular knife grip, where the fingers face the opponent, there should be arterial spray.
Great team! The only thing that caught my eye was in the “older” pic, Máximo’s right leg. Try this – http://forums.ugo.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=83239&d=1344017494 – to see if you can make the pose work better. Cheers!
Dang you “comment awaiting for moderation”….
MisterDinoMan: the only things I noticed are the right boot is a bit to one side.
Vamp? I love your hood shadow. The chest area? Maybe some shreds or wrinkles would make it go with the rest better.
Kaldath: Maybe work in red in the loincloth? a red stripe down the middle? Looks good, though, wouldn’t want it too busy.
Jadebrain: How skimpy do you want it? ;^> seriously, tho, maybe you should take the steampunk parts you want and make most of the outfit out of them, then add the cloth and push ‘under’ on layers. (Big advantage to digital art.) Insignia basic shapes can look like cloth without wrinkles.
I like the costume, but I think the shield being the same colors makes it hard to make out.
I don’t know what any of those are, but I like this illustration. The body style is great and the whole thing has a sense of whimsical malice that works.
Wow, nice job! LOVE the background sky, that’s awesome. The character design is solid, too. My only suggestion would be to do something with the roof he’s standing on — compared to the sky it’s kind of bland, and it takes up a lot of real estate.
I like the costume design. The helmet gets lost a little though.
It’s a good patriotic-themed character. The background works well and I like the energy swords. The only bit that’s even a little iffy for me is the visor, which is a little hard to make out.
I like the version on the right better, but mostly because the cape on the other one is so dark I can’t make out his arms very well. But I also like the purple being just on the upper chest, for some reason that looks more powerful to me. The mask is great.
In terms of an overall illustration I think the composition needs work. The middle guy’s head is cut off, you can’t see most of the guy on the left, and the right-hand figure is also cropped. The pale blue energy circles on the hands line up in such a way as to basically cut the image in half. And you lose the white lab coat guy in the white background. Try introducing some sort of background design element (like a simple colored circle) to try and unify them together and make them pop.
http://i519.photobucket.com/albums/u352/DENZIS666/Albannach-Montezuma.png
One of my entries for the Not Captain America contest. Just want everyone’s thoughts, really.
I think it’s a solid start. The bottom pieces work well, with the layering and coloring. The top is not as strong. I’d start by making the sleeves a different gray from the vest and maybe putting a fancy pattern on the vest itself, like it was laced or embroidered. The potion bottles on the belt line could also be colored differently to make them pop a bit more.
Beautiful! Love the glowing fingernails and the pose. Very sexy but powerful. Good job!
Effective characterization, the various military psycho bits work well together. I’m not as sold on the tattoos, they almost look like they’re on top of the sleeve and they don’t seem to be where they ought to be on the arm if it’s rotated slightly.
Good job though.
Here is a drawing I did some time ago. Sorry about the scan quality.
“Geheris in His Library”
http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/robm/2012/08/Geheris-Library-RobM.jpg
It’s a nice experiment. I like the mix of fashion eras. I might bump up the dark on the gray lines of the pants as they currently are feeling a bit overpowered by the upper figure.
I’ll just chime in to say they both look great!
I honestly can’t make much out of this one — I’m not sure what I’m looking at or what it is or what’s supposed to be what. I mean, it’s a nice drawing, don’t get me wrong, I just can’t quite wrap my head around what should be where and why. So I don’t have too much to offer on this one 🙁
I actually had this in my Finalist group before ultimately leaving it out upon posting. I love love love the background purple, that’s an awesome effect. I just didn’t feel like overall it gave the feeling of a “big bad” type of thing.
I think for me the two areas to address are 1) her crotch (seriously bulgy for a girl area) and 2) the pattern of the red on her costume, which tends to sort of pull her frame down.
I loved the cape and the mask. The upper body in general actually works great. My main areas of concern were in the lower body. His right foot looks odd, and I don’t buy the long shorts look. I’d almost be inclined to leave that off altogether to let him go au naturel under the loin cloth.
Very nice! Fantastic detail work in the book titles, that kind of thing is a pain in the butt to draw. I like the pose a lot and his face is very well done. I don’t quite get what’s going on with his left knee, but otherwise, I think you did a really great job on it.
Love the pictures, I think you did a wonderful job. I have one question: Reverb is whose daughter???? The way you wrote it up, it seems as if she’s the daughter of two male characters (Wraith & Howl).
Must be Marvel characters, eh? 🙂
I’ll defend MisterDinoMan on the bulgy crotch and say that is the original shape of the female torso body item. I’ve had that effect on some of my images and it is hard to correct. I have also been critiqued on it. Maybe way down the road we could get an amended less masculin torso piece.
I was looking online one night for Cat Warriors what I got we pictures of either or
http://i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q539/kjell17/Hero%20Machine%20Creation/KericsCats1.jpg
http://i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q539/kjell17/Hero%20Machine%20Creation/KericsCats2.jpg
After I did this one I found out there were other ways to create him, and on a personal note this is my first background that I wasn’t “Required” to use.
http://i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q539/kjell17/Hero%20Machine%20Creation/Kericstiger2.jpg
Not looking for a critique, just excited that football season is just around the corner!
The Littleton Lemon-Lime Ligers
Linkee no workee?
http://freethespam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/atomicpunk-littletonligers.png
Thanks! That actually helps a lot, although I’ll have to build him from scratch since I seem to have lost all of my save files…
That would be the case 😀 She’s a genetic recombination of both Howl and Wraith’s DNA using technology that isn’t quite there in real life yet ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reproductive_technology#Same-sex_procreation ) , helped along by the powers of Kid Chaos (who in this future timeline enjoys the full abilities of a creator deity), and carried to term by a female superhero from a different team. Her experimental conception is part of the reason she initially aged so rapidly. One of her fathers (Howl) has a sonic scream ability which I based her own abilities off of (the ability to build up powerful vibrations within her body and release them in shockwaves on impact) and she inherited a superhumanly advanced synaptic nervous system from her other father (Wraith- who is a telepath).
I have a Portrait picture about a fantasy figure. Is not ready, but i try it make angry.
http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/2827/seraportrait.png
http://www.heromachine.com/wp-content/legacy/forum-image-uploads/meniukas/2012/08/Wood-elfe.PNG
You hit it on the head. She looks very angry. And that facial hair. AWE-SO-ME!
http://i1251.photobucket.com/albums/hh559/OdioAmoris/OdioAmoris-Typhon.jpg
Realy weary impressive kitty, Sharp teeth could be on top of lover lip.
This here is General Veritas Aequitas. She’s supposed to be an angel of justice, judging all humans she comes in contact with. She’s blind, as to not let the looks of a person cloud her judgment. I love her colors and her mask I put a bit of time into making, I just feel like there’s something… missing. I don’t know, she’s just not complete.. or maybe she is, and I’m just picky haha
http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k312/theshookman/General.png
http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/EmeraldJasmineTracyandEmiliaJadeTracy.png
Emerald Jasmine Tracy with daughter Emilia Jade Tracy.
The main bit is the hands of Emerald, I don’t know quite what hands to use.
Oh sure, blame the guy who drew it!
I’m going to assume this is the one you wanted a critique of.
I like the figure design a lot, he looks great. My problem is with the background, which is WAY too cluttered and busy. I almost didn’t see the main character at all. The other bit that doesn’t quite work for me is the feet — the shoes don’t have a top, they just blend right into the fur, which looks off a bit.
But like I said, I like the figure itself, good job there.
I am so ready for football it isn’t even funny. Sigh. I won my fantasy league last year and every few weeks over the summer I’ve gone back to look at my online “trophy”.
Yes, I’m a sad little man.
But I’m a sad little man who likes your illustration. The fans all have distinct personalities and the image hangs together well. Nice job!
Kytana, if I haven’t said it lately, I want to thank you for your vision, your talent, and your creativity. I am always deeply impressed by your work and I’m incredibly grateful that you choose to share it with us.
I love this illustration. You’ve managed to give a cat-faced person personality and feeling, which is not easy to do at all. I’m assuming that as you work on it further the coloring in the body we can see will get differentiated more, so we don’t lose the details, but the face and head are great already.
Very nice! I like the way she has elements of the forest integrated into her hair and costume. I’d probably like to see the colors on the branch tattoo in her face toned down a bit since it seems to vivid to be a part of her actual skin or whatever, but otherwise it’s a neat idea very well done.
I like the concept you were going for, but I literally had to study it for a couple of minutes before I could figure out what was going on. The snake heads all seem disconnected and the clouds read as wooden barriers at first, making the face/teeth at the top seem totally separate from everything else.
I’m being awfully direct today, I hope this doesn’t come out harsher than I mean it. It’s a good effort and an interesting idea, but the actual effect is, I fear, not yet where you want it to be.
I think it’s pretty close to done and it looks really nice. The helmet works, the sword is good, and the overall effect spot on. Good job!
The only bit you might tweak is the cloak. I think it’s too long, so it comes below the level of the feet, which means she must be floating. I’d shorten it up a bit. And I’d also think about darkening the color on it by several shades so it more effectively frames the figure. Right now it’s so close in tone to the colors in the front part of her outfit that you lose some of the “pop” effect you could get.
Good job!
I think those are probably the best hands you could get. They do come off as a little too stiff and flat, but I don’t think there’s a better choice to be made from what’s available.
My main concern isn’t the hands, it’s the legs of the rear figure. With the boots and the dress the same yellow, the negative space between the legs make it look like she doesn’t HAVE any legs. I’d try and move her legs in or out a bit, or at least change the color of the boots so it’s clear immediately that the two sets of legs overlap, and that’s why you can’t see the ones in back.
OK folks, that closes another edition of OCD. Thanks for playing along!
coool
Thanks Jeff! Now i know it, it makes me feel better.
The complete works will follow in the gallery.