The baddest Big Brother yet

Courtesy of "Gone and Forgotten", I've learned that Luke Cage might have the worst-dressed Rogues' Gallery of all time. Take "Big Brother" for instance:

You have to wonder what kind of nefarious criminal enterprise requires sucking all the nipple-power out of both man boobs, channeling it back into the body via an invasive metal tube, and re-outputting through a single massive chest-eye-meganipple orifice. I do know this, however -- I don't want to be there when whatever it is comes shooting out of that thing.

Apparently recapturing his own body's effluvium is what Big Brother is all about (no wonder he's watching you, he wants to know if you're watching him!), as he's also got that nifty Mark V FlatusVac strapped to his abdomen. Again, you do not want to be present at the moment of discharge.

I'm guessing that the FlatusVac doesn't come with a noise dampener, though, requiring the use of huge 1970s headphones. So massive are his discharges that said headgear has to be strapped down with a metal bar to prevent it from flying off his head upon release. Now that's announcing your presence with authority, folks.

I'll overlook the purple and green color scheme, as his eyes are probably watering so badly he can't see straight. But his buddy the Cheshire Cat has no such excuse. It's like he took a look through Prison Fashion Weekly Magazine and thought he could really dress up the black bar look by throwing in some cat-puke orange and a red beret.

I haven't read a lot of Luke Cage comics, but I'm going to guess that most of his super villain troubles are direct karmic blowback for that popped yellow collar and bare-pecs look he's sporting. Can't we all just dress well and get along?!

11 Responses to The baddest Big Brother yet

  1. Dan says:

    That could be the worst Jack Kirby rip-off costume ever. It has all of the randomness of Kirby with none of the charm. And Jeff, I’m ashamed of you, an article about Luke Cage, and no “Sweet Christmas” jokes? You might get kicked out of the comics blog community. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Joshua says:

    *Sigh* Big Brother, is it? Should that be pronounced Big Brother…or Big BRUTHA? Who else makes up Luke Cage’s Rouges Gallery? Sista’ Girl, Pimp Kain, or the heinous duo of “5-O and the Man”?

    C’mon, white people…

  3. Myro says:

    Look guys. There were a lot of drugs done back then. Just admit that might have been the inspiration for this disaster.

  4. Frankie says:

    He’s bald and wears a purple nd green power suit. Just like Lex Luthor. Hmmmm….

  5. Mr.MikeK says:

    How about that spiffy eyeball in the middle of his chest? Big Bro is watching you from a slightly lower vantage point…

    cleavage cam?

  6. Myro says:

    How about that spiffy eyeball in the middle of his chest? Big Bro is watching you from a slightly lower vantage pointโ€ฆ

    cleavage cam?

    Hey! Eyes up here! ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. This does me wrong on all sides. Power Man’s foot is disprortionate. “Chesire Cat”… just because you have Disney stripes doesn’t make you “cat” in fashion, feline, or cool. I get the green and purple motif… not so much “The Incredible Hulk”… more like “Mush-mouth” from “Fat Albert.” Which was way better than this panel.

    Hey, don’t get me wrong. No no no. I really love Iron First and Luke Cage (Power Man). What a disco pair. You couldn’t pull this stuff in the bland 21st Century. I’m just saying it’s easy to pick apart this PC-incorrect panel. Whilest forgetting the inspiration to be bold!

  8. punkjay says:

    My real issue, besides the bad Luthor color sceme is that head gear serves no pepose at all. It looks like he baught those expensive cyber eye and said “@#$% it I’ll just build a holder for these eyes from MY big brother’s old Erector Set!” (yes I know what an erector set is and yes I’m dating myself). I think George Clinton and Bootsey Collens had some part of this get up. We love you Dr Funkenstein!

  9. Dan Gonzalez says:

    The Atomic Punk: This does me wrong on all sides. Power Manโ€™s foot is disprortionate.

    That’s because he’s been putting it up peoples asses for years.

  10. Frankie says:

    @Punkjay: Tell me more about this “erector set” and ‘dating yourself’.