Caption Contest 104

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

90 Responses to Caption Contest 104

  1. Avatar pyrodude760 says:

    believe me its just a skin rash doc

  2. Avatar Watson Bradshaw says:


  3. Avatar Watson Bradshaw says:


  4. Avatar Joel says:

    “Have you been told about the word of Jesus Christ?”

    “Hi, welcome to Monster Con 011, great cosplay by the way.”

  5. Avatar Joel says:

    “You win the staring contest again. Damn your empty eye sockets!”

  6. Avatar Rick says:

    1. A Lebron jersey? Sweet!
    2. What’s this? I’m a thong man!
    3. Voila! Thank you for coming to SwampCuts!

  7. Avatar Gero says:

    1. God, you’re ugly!
    2. I thought you said blue robes?
    3. You idiot, it clearly says dry clean only!

  8. Avatar John says:

    “…but the towels are scratchy, man!”

  9. Avatar Kytana says:

    1. “Sorry, but we have this only in X-Large.”
    2. “I don´t like onions.” *snief
    3. “Go away you monster!”
    4. “What do you mean with you need raw green meat?”
    5. “Exuse me, is this your shorts?”

  10. Avatar Susie Q says:

    Please sir, I want some more.

  11. Avatar Myro says:

    1. “Now you see what happens when you sleep on sheets with less than a 200 thread count!”

  12. Avatar McKnight57 says:

    1): Ok, but can I bring my blanky?
    2): You’d be cryin’ too if you looked like the lovechild of the Hulk and Poison Ivy!
    3): Whaddaya mean I don’t get to wear a Batman cape?!

  13. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    1. Be honest. Does this shroud make me look fat?
    2. I’m telling you, you can see Jesus’ face in this thing!
    3. Whadda ya mean you used my towel for “happy time”?

  14. Avatar Vampyrist says:

    1)Dammit, I just washed these sheets!

  15. Avatar Skiriki says:

    1) “Stand still, please! I need to make an exact copy of Shroud of Turin!”

    2) “I did not mean to mummify you! I did not know that ShamWow can hold 12 times of its weight in liquid!”

    3) “Do what now? Wax on, wax off?”

  16. Avatar Tim K. says:

    “Dammit, blue curtains so do not work in this room!”

  17. Avatar Ghost says:

    (1)”Why do the children run from me? *SOB SOB* I only wish to play!”

    (2)”When I said ‘A little off the top’ I didn’t mean to take it ALL off… Sorry man.

    (3)”Indigo is definitely my color.”

  18. Avatar Captain Kicktar says:

    And they say I’m ugly.

  19. Avatar TOOL says:

    Your Not suppose to mix the darks with the whites!

    This was dry clean only!

    Thanks Batman for letting me blow my nose in your cape pal.

    Please buy my silk, only five dolla!

    But I don’t wanna give up my blankey Daddy!

  20. Avatar frankie says:

    “Good god man! Cover yourself up. You’re scaring the customers.”

  21. Avatar frankie says:

    “Is the hole in my head as bad as it feels?”

  22. Avatar frankie says:

    “Peek-a-boo! I see you!”

  23. Avatar Ethan Shuster says:

    Smell these sheets! Febreze is amazing!

  24. Avatar Zaheelee says:

    “Here, we can make this into a turban to disguise your baldness!”

  25. ams ams says:

    Please, I beg you, no more tossing my salad!

  26. Avatar Doornik1142 says:

    “Noo! My sweater shrunk in the waaaaaaaash!”

  27. Avatar Mr. Q says:

    Why did you use the good curtains as a bath towel?!

  28. 1. I’m going home to mother!

    2. I thought I grabbed him by the arm, all I got was the sleeve and…

    3. You mean there is no “Ancient Chinese Secret?!?”

    4. You’d need a tissue this big if you were allergic to yourself, you b@stard!

    5. I scrub and scrub, but it’s never clean enough!

  29. Avatar Wrinkles says:

    Why won’t this come CLEANNN!!!!????

  30. Avatar punkjay says:

    “Ever since I became a vegan i finally realized something… you ARE what you eat!”

  31. Avatar Lbclark3 says:

    “but you promised we’d do laundry together!”

  32. Avatar The Imp says:

    1. My didie! MY DIDIE!

    2. When you said you were creating Un-Men, I didn’t realize you meant…

    3. Hey, I’m naked in here! Ever heard of knocking first?

    4. Why Anton, I never realized how lovely your neck-wattle is!

    5. I’m the living duplicate of Adolf Hitler?

    (I loves me some Swamp Thing; thanks, Jeff! 😀 )

  33. Avatar skybandit says:

    1) Are you color-blind? Blue doesn’t go with green!
    2) This is NOT enough toilet paper!
    3) I use this to cover my face. Now that I’ve seen yours…
    4) Wow! A life-sized Crypt-Keeper doll! Thanks, Dad!
    5) Boo!

  34. Avatar Bud says:

    1. So how did the plastic surgery go?
    2. I’m the ghost of Michael Jackson.(it’s the nose.)
    3. Ahhh, you scared me.
    4. What do you mean it can’t be returned.
    5. Does this make me look bad?

  35. Avatar Knighthawk says:

    1) Damn! And they call ME ugly!
    2) This is the dress she wore, I’ve never washed it, want to smell her?
    3) Extra starch, bloodstains, 4:30.
    4)My GOD man! I don’t have a nose and that stinks!
    5) Superman wears red cape on blue suit, it doesn’t work the other way around!

  36. Avatar Adam says:

    Close the door dad! don’t you know how to knock?

  37. 1. Are you Alfred? Batman let me borrow his cape.

    2. The beavers…they eat their own poop.

    3. Perhaps monsieur would prefer ze blue robes tonight, oui?

    4. I can’t shake this cold. *sniffle*

    5. This? No reason. Why?

  38. Avatar Wulf says:

    “*Wookiee roar*”
    “My stars, Emperor! You’ve let yourself go!”

    (I thought the creature looked like a deformed Wookiee.)

  39. Avatar Trekkie says:

    Why did you wash it with the darks? Why?!

  40. Avatar Watson Bradshaw says:

    No, my eyes are red because I AM part medical marijuana!

  41. Avatar the creator says:

    can’t you see when somebody is using the shower!!!

  42. Avatar Lady Jay says:

    The most memorable line from the film Mommy Dearest works great for this.



    2. “NO WIRE HANGERS! What’s wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!”

    LOL! =)

  43. Rozenstal Rozenstal says:

    Can I cut or shave you, sir?

  44. Avatar Lady Jay says:

    3. “Wait! It’s not what it looks like! This dress is for… It’s for… My dog, uh I mean wife… It’s clearly not for me… Um… But does this color match my eyes?”

  45. Avatar xXBladeXIIXx says:

    “But Linus got to keep his blankie for over 50 years!”

  46. Avatar Matejko says:

    “For the last time, I’m a reptile not an amphibian!”

  47. Avatar Matejko says:

    “What? I didn’t ate your wife!”

  48. Avatar Sean From Edwards says:

    You try getting anything clean with swamp water.

  49. Avatar JWMan says:

    1. Hugh, I can be Miss Septimburr?
    2. Steroids shrink your what?!
    3. Swamp Thing remake with Lady Gaga?
    4. That was the last Harry Potter?!
    5. Glee in 3D?! Swamp Thing so happy!

  50. Avatar kykiskie says:

    1.This is one of the deathly hallows,i swear !!
    2.Taste this freezing aroma or die !!

  51. Avatar kykiskie says:

    4.A-HA !! I FOUND YOU !!
    5.This will make you superMAN !!

  52. Avatar Wierdrocks says:

    “Guess I shouldn’t ‘a washed this with those purple socks, huh?”

  53. ams ams says:

    Does this look infected?

  54. Avatar Erik Nieves says:

    Does this look like medium starch to you??!?

  55. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Eat a dirtburger. Plants have feelings, too.”

  56. Avatar CPrime says:

    1. Does this look like a “coat of many colors” to you?!

    2. I just want to look pretty…

    3. Damn it, Jim. I’m a doctor, not a seamstress!

    4. Hulk say shorts not purple again.

    5. This is awful! Make it work!

    (Yes, a Project Runway reference.)

  57. Avatar Kountkill says:

    No reason, Dad, can’t a teenage guy just wash his own sheets?

  58. Avatar X-stacy says:

    But WHY can’t I go to the ball?

  59. Avatar TheNate says:

    1. Don’t you like my Yancy Street makeover?
    (that was a winner a couple of years ago)

    2. You called it a Shamwow, but it’s just a sham!

    3. It’s curtains for you – and drapes for me!

    4. One wipe, no more green on my head!

  60. Avatar Jake says:

    1. Smells lemony fresh!

    2. Wow Batman, I see why you hide your face.

  61. Avatar Joe says:

    1.IT’S….ALIVE!!!(mad scientist voice)
    2.I’M A MONSTERRRRR!(yes, I made a Fmily Guy reference)
    3.You need this mask more than me.

  62. Avatar Pandademic says:

    1) Yes, so my name HAPPENS to be “Mean Joe Green”. I’m still not giving you my towel!

  63. Avatar Joe says:

    I meant “Family Guy” on #2. Sorry.

  64. Avatar Steve M. says:

    1) Tell me I’m pretty…

    2) Why’d she leave me, man. *Sniff* Why?!?

  65. Avatar eric ross burton says:

    my god honey what happened to your face here cover it with this rag

  66. Avatar Joel says:


    “A Legion of Doom meeting? But I haven’t a thing to wear!”

  67. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I’m not a skunk ape. I’m Swampthing!”

  68. Avatar Joel says:

    “Ah, no, I don’t know where the chloroform bottle went, why do you ask?”

  69. Avatar Reece says:

    never can get these small green spots out of my sheets and i don’t know why

  70. Avatar Jessica says:

    1. But Daddy, all the other girls will be wearing red! I can’t wear PURPLE!!!!
    2. What do you mean it’s not Gucci?!
    3. I can’t believe you used this as an oil rag! It’s ruined now, RUINED!!!
    4. …So I bought her this dress and — wait a minute, is that candy I smell?
    5. *sniff sniff* I don’t get it! What does Tom Welling have that I don’t?!

  71. Avatar Steve M. says:

    3) Um…I can’t find my pants.

  72. Avatar Bakes says:

    “… You were never supposed to see this.”

  73. Avatar Dan says:

    “…then they gave Batman a budget and a script! All I had was Heather Locklear!!”

  74. Avatar DanKron says:

    You don’t understand! When I sleep, this blanket keeps the monsters away!

  75. Avatar pyrodude760 says:

    please tell me its just a rash doc PLEASE!!!

  76. Avatar pyrodude760 says:

    give it to me straight doc

  77. Avatar Oquies says:

    1. I can’t believe its not cotton!

    2. You payed that much….FOR THIS!

  78. Avatar Comix says:

    1. When i said i wanted a tan i didnt mean like this
    2. Do you think i put on too much make up?
    3. Why do you want me to cover my face up with this towel?

  79. Avatar Myro says:

    2. “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

  80. Avatar XionUnborn01 says:

    You said blue looked good on me!

  81. Avatar Oquies says:

    3. Torro! Torro!

  82. Avatar rancid says:

    1. KNOCK next time geez
    2. no more wire hangers!
    3. …not what it looks like

  83. Avatar Twiggyseed says:

    1. John! I said it wasn’t machine washable! *sniff* *sniff* Now I’ll never be beautiful.

    2. Seriously! I’m Batman! It’s just that the darkness, and the costume, make it hard to really see!

    3. What did the Joker do to me? Oh well, at least Robin’s oka-….Robin?

  84. Avatar BroCoyote says:

    I AM to sexy for this shirt!!!

  85. Avatar nakiato says:

    1) seriously arn’t you people taught to knock?

    2) hmm. if you put this sheet on your head maybe, I mean even I have standards

    3) I can’t help but notice that your right hand has only 3 fingers

    4) suddenly I don’t feel so ashamed of my appearance

    5) not this is “toxic avenger” the “captain planet” set is next door.

  86. Avatar Trekkie says:

    You can’t have that as your Halloween costume! Quick, put this on!

  87. Avatar Theaven says:

    You idiot I was doing a load of whites.

  88. Avatar Iago Valentine says:

    I told you not to say in the bath too long!

  89. Avatar Deimos-remus says:

    Do you realize what you’ve done? I told you not to mix the whites and the colors! My clothes are ruined!

  90. Avatar The Donkeyfication says:

    You said my tan would help me blend in!