Caption Contest 90: The ties that bind

Come up with the best replacement dialog for this random comics panel (courtesy of Nicholas/GtaMythMaster43) and you’ll win your choice of either any item you like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration!

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny! That will be a challenge given this week's subject, but I know you can do it!

Finally, please make sure to break your entry into the two different word balloons, like:

1. This is absolutely the last time ...
2. ... I fly coach!


1. Um, hello, is anyone out there?
2. I'm here to apply for the Princess Leia on the pleasure barge role? Anyone?

No limit on the number of submissions beyond normal self-editing (i.e. don’t spam crappy entries hoping to get lucky), so good luck to everyone. Contest closes next Monday.

(Image © LucasFilms Ltd.)

84 Responses to Caption Contest 90: The ties that bind

  1. Anthony Z says:

    1. Oh yeah, I’m a bad padawan.
    And I need to be PUNISHED

    2. Wait, Anakin, I know you’ve gone to the dark side…
    But are you really going to do this to me?

  2. Tim says:

    Not an entry: Did you ever announce a winner for caption contest 89 Jeff?

  3. Rosco says:

    “I know this looks dirty, but fear not, concerned parents.”
    “In the special edition, Lucas will ILM me some shoulder pads and a football.”

  4. tj says:

    1. what the hell are you doing

    2. and why does that say **** lube…oh god

    (Edited for content — Jeff)

  5. JoeBroFoSho says:

    “So wait Anakin…I know you don’t like sand…”
    “But THIS is the stuff you’re into?”

  6. joel says:

    1. “When I said use the force…”
    “This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

    2. “For the last time!”
    “I am NOT a furry!”

  7. michael says:

    how do i put clothes on a gorilla body in hm3

  8. Loki says:

    1. “You! over there!
    Stop saying bow-chicka-wow-wow!”
    2. Hey, guard on the left! stop starring at my…over-sized arm gems!

  9. Loki says:


  10. michael says:


  11. Tim says:

    1) “This seems to be a little unorthodox, master.”
    2) “Are you sure this is part of typical jedi training?”

  12. Jeff Hebert says:

    I know this one is going to be a challenge to keep clean, but them’s the rules, folks — use the limitation to be extra creative instead of going for the cheap and dirty stuff. For instance, I think Tim’s (11) entry is very good.

    Michael (7 & 10): I’ve responded to your private email via that venue, this isn’t really the place. Also, this isn’t like a BBS or forum, it’s a blog, it takes longer to get responses and isn’t exactly real time.

  13. Iago_Valentine says:

    “Master, I really, REALLY, don’t want to complain…
    But Mr. Lucas took the “slave girl” thing to far this time!”

  14. Jake says:

    1. I still don’t know…
    Who won the last caption contest?!

  15. “Keep the captions clean?!?”
    “Jeff, that’s very ‘restraining’!”

  16. Jeff Hebert says:

    Ha ha Punk!

    Also, just posted the long-delayed Caption Contest 89 winners in a separate thread. Sorry!

  17. Knitesoul says:

    – “Um, i don’t think…”
    “The force has anything to do with this…”

  18. ajw says:

    ashoka:There is too much fabric
    Im’ feeling restrained
    (poke at the scanitly clad version in the show)

  19. Rick says:

    “Im a… slave, for you!”
    “I won’t deny it, I’m not trying to hide it!”
    (Channeling her inner Britney, and no, I can’t believe I went there either…)

  20. Tim says:

    Thanks Jeff!

  21. Rick says:

    “OSG up in here”
    “Original Slave girl Beyotches!”

  22. Darth_Neko says:

    1. “Go to Java’s palace” he said!….”Try the veal” He said!…. But no! I’m the new slave girl! I’m never coming back here again and I want my credits back!!!
    2. I swear to you master… I better get my own comic book for this!
    3. I swear to you, the next person that’s makes one more damn bdsm joke…. And I’m force pushing your face into a brick wall.

  23. Bael says:

    1) This is the last straw, Leonard.

    2) I’m never going to one of these conventions with you again!

  24. Anarchangel says:

    1) Is all of this really necessary Anakin?…
    2) I think you may be taking the whole “Master” thing too seriously.

  25. Watson Bradshaw says:

    “Is that a spike on your helmet…
    Or are you just glad to see a girl do cosplay?”

  26. frankie says:

    Bubble1: “Fear not, Anakin. Whatever they have instored for me…”

    Bubble2: “Is nothing compared to what they do to young boys.”

  27. joel says:

    “This is a new low.”
    “Even for Jersey Shore.”

  28. kyle says:

    1)”Now I know why”
    2)”females don’t like comics!”

    1)”eyes up here”

  29. count libido says:

    “Okay, I dressed up as Asohka for you for ComicCon…”

    “Now can we pleeease go shopping?”

  30. Loki says:

    4. 1.”Slave!”
    2.”Slave to loooove~!”

  31. Loki says:

    5.”This is a Master Student relationship, right?”
    Bubble Two “Right!?”

  32. TheNate says:

    This would be humiliating … if anyone knew what my name was

  33. TheNate says:

    How much longer … until you’re done sculpting my action figure?

  34. remy says:

    1.”Calm Down!
    2. I have to call you “Master” regardless of what we’re doing!”

    1. “Sir, is that a PISTOL in the middle of your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
    2. Either way, get a life.”

  35. CHOSENONE81385 says:

    “I swear if i get anymore sand in my bikini someone is getting that stupid axe shoved up where the sun don’t shine…”

  36. Watson Bradshaw says:

    “A few more tentacles…..
    And we can sell this book in Japan.”

  37. Watson Bradshaw says:

    I told you guy’s uncuff me…..
    I may be orange, but I’m NOT Snookie!”

  38. nakiato says:

    entry 1
    1) seriously stop asking your mom.
    2) I already said you can’t keep me.

    entry 2
    1) wait a second!
    2)isn’t the bungee cord suposed to go around my ankles?

    entry 3
    1) Look I said I was sorry!
    2) you guys really take this “no shirt no shoes no service” thing seriouly.

    entry 4
    1) I need a refund!
    2) this is possibly the worst 50$ I ever spen’t

    entry 5
    1)Okay, befor you pull
    2)are you sure that this will get rid of my loose tooth?

  39. Dan McDorman says:

    1. What do you mean ‘AAAARRGH’…
    2. …isn’t a safe word?!?

    1. I think you misunderstood when I said…
    2. …”I support womans suffrage!”

    1. I’m not the Twi’lek your looking for…
    2. …Oh for the love of God and Ben Kenobi, repeat damn it!

  40. Dan McDorman says:

    1. You better tie that thing tight…
    2. …because its the only thing between me and that new DC universe online game!

  41. Blue Blazer says:

    “This is not the sex slave you’re looking for.”

  42. Anthony Z says:

    Master, Help…
    I seem to be in a bit of a bind!

    I’d love to help…
    But I’m a bit tied up at the moment.

  43. BenK22 says:

    Bubble 1: Good thing there’s no underwear in space.
    Bubble 2: Thank you very much, Mr. Lucas.

    Bubble 1: Well, at least I have my lightsaber…
    Bubble 2: Well at least I still have the Force.

    Bubble 1: I swear when it’s appropriate.
    Bubble 2: Son of a b****!

    Bubble 1: When are you releasing the Nexu?
    Bubble 2: Nice kitty. Nice kitty.

    Bubble 1: Wait until my real master gets here.
    Bubble 2: Then you’ll really be in trouble.

    Bubble 1: Is that what I think it is?
    Bubble 2: Don’t come any closer with that!

    Bubble 1: I’ll never tell you where the hidden Jedi base is.
    Bubble 2: They’re on Dantooine.

  44. Cormac says:

    1: Wait a minute…
    2: Isn’t this a kid’s film?

  45. Dan McDorman says:

    1. Exit normalcy
    2. Enter Sith

    1. Just because I’m a Twi’lek…
    2. …doesn’t mean you can’t be humane!

    1. Okay I 100% refuse to believe…
    2. …that this is how Yoda started.

    2. …You have two knees and one pantleg…JERK!

  46. Dino says:

    The rope around her neck made me think of Toy Story for a moment. Er……you know what? Its almost impossible to recover after that last sentence without over explaining, so I’ll just give you the bubbles.

    1. Theres a snake in my boots.
    2. Somebody poisoned the water hole.

  47. Big Mac says:

    1. Okay, I am 100% sure…
    2. …that Yoda didn’t start this way.

    1. I think you misunderstood when I said…
    2. …’I support womans suffrage’.

    2. You have two knees and one pant leg…JERK!

    1. Damn it Gary Gygax…
    2. …Wheres my ‘tied up Twi’lek’ saving throw?!?

    1. I’m not the Twi’lek your looking for. I’m not the…
    2. …Oh for the love of God and Ben Kenobi, repeat after me!

  48. Gero says:

    Bubble 1-“I’ll never be in your prequel, Lucas!”
    Bubble 2-“NEEEVVVEEERRR!!!”

  49. kyle says:

    1)”Is this part of the Jedi training”

  50. CPrime says:

    “I know the economy is bad and all…”
    “But even the Hooters on Tatooine was better than this!”

  51. CPrime says:

    @BenK22 (43):

    Did you just throw a Simon Tam reference? God bless you, sir!

  52. X-stacy says:

    1) What are you looking at?

    2) Don’t judge me!

  53. X-stacy says:

    1) “Harder”

    2) is NOT a good safe word.

    (Thank you, Sleep Talkin’ Man.)

  54. BenK22 says:

    @CPrime (51):
    It’s always good to throw in a Firefly referrence where you can.

  55. Jason22274 says:

    1)Princess Leah
    2)Eat your heart out!
    (Yeah, the continuity is all messed up to make this work, but so what. It’s funny!)

  56. CPrime says:

    Couldn’t agree more.

  57. Zorgon says:

    1. “What’s with the guards?”
    “Do they HAVE to watch?

    2. “I can take handcuffs, beatings, and rape…”
    “but that man over there is wearing a POLO NECK!”

  58. Zorgon says:

    Both of the above are different entries.

  59. Myro says:

    *sigh* I actually was not going to take part this week, and then ideas started popping into my head. This first one just proves my fiancee has me watching too much “How I Met Your Mother.”

    1. “Gentlemen, I swear tonight is going to be Legen…wait for it…”
    2. “Guys, can I change out of this outfit now?”
    “Mr. Blackwell just blogged that it’s even uglier than the one I normally wear.”

    Yes, I do realize Richard Blackwell is dead.

  60. William A. Peterson says:

    1. “Are you SURE…”
    2. “That this is how Wonder Woman got her start?” :->

  61. CPrime says:

    1. “You’ll never take my FREEDOM!!!”
    2. “Oh, I guess that’s exactly what you’re taking… damn.”

  62. frankie says:

    Balloon1: “Where are the facilities in this place?”

    Balloon2: “I have to go SO bad!”

  63. frankie says:

    Balloon1: “You can’t do this to me! Three X’s my ass!”

    Balloon2: “I want Hasselhoff back!”

  64. Scotti says:

    This is the last time I let you talk me into being…

    An E3 booth girl.

  65. CPrime says:

    1. “Oh wait, I know what’s happening here…”
    2. “The writers are striking again, aren’t they?”

    1. “My milkshake brings all the Sith to the yard.”
    2. “Damn right, it’s better than yours.”

    1. “NOOO!!! The Dark Lord is returning!”
    2. “Harry Potter must NOT return to Hogwarts!”

  66. Razhwurz says:

    1: I know you think this looks embarrassing…
    2: But you should see what Anakin is wearing!

    1: Ok. I get that we’re trying to sell comics here, but…
    2: Was this really necessary?

    1: Funny how all the ‘strong’ female characters always end up tied up half naked.
    2: Lucas is a hell of a writer, isn’t he?

  67. Razhwurz says:

    1: And the funny part of it is…
    2: I was already wearing this before I got captured.

  68. Razhwurz says:

    1: Oh, come on! Another goofy outfit?!
    2: Why don’t you guys just draw me naked and get it over with?

  69. Gabe Puratekuta says:

    1: “You’re not holding a banana….”
    2: “….are you?”

  70. Rick says:

    Blue Blazer #41 – Awesome!

  71. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    1. You’re arresting me for what?!? Public Indece…

  72. JoeBroFoSho says:

    “Yeah. I’m sure my real purpose is to be geared towards younger audiences. Lucas, you sick…”
    “OW! Stop yanking on the neck thing so hard you…spiny helmet….man….who the heck are you?”

  73. JoeBroFoSho says:

    Sorry I just had one more, don’t mean to spam…

    Ballon One: Hey skyguy. I know it might be a little late to say this but…

    Balloon 2: IT’S A TRAP!

  74. RitoruBushi says:

    Note: FINALLY!!! Some Star Wars Material!!! 😀

    1. Don’t these slavers know I’m only 14 years old?
    2. You Zygerrians should look up Galactic Republic laws on minors!

    1. Look! I’m not really Princess Vashee, I just impersonated her!
    2. Not buying it, huh?

    1. I get the distinct feeling…
    2. this isn’t going to end with a surprise birthday party.

    1. I did not come here to get shackled…
    2. and live out your twisted Leeloo fantasies!

    1. You can’t try me as an adult!
    2. I’m a minor!

    1. I don’t want to do a video…
    2. with R. Kelly!!!

    1. Just because I’m dressed like this…
    2. doesn’t mean I’m not hiding my lightsaber!

    1. This is the last time I star in a comic…
    2. without reading the full title first.

    1. Just because I’m a Jedi…
    2. doesn’t mean I was trained for “that”!

  75. frankie says:

    Balloon1: “I was just trying to get a transit ride from Hoth to Tatoonie.”

    Balloon2: “All this because of the color of my skin? What is this? Planet Earth?”

  76. kyle says:

    1)”Now you know on…..
    2)”How I turn orange!”

    1)Is this how im supposed to….
    2) Get a Klondike bar?

    1.First jersey shore this!

  77. BenK22 says:

    Just a few more:

    1. This is how you treat your captured princesses?
    2. You should really talk to Bowser…or Gandalfini.

    1. I wasn’t doing anything wrong!
    2. Sometimes a girl just needs her girl time.

    1. For the last time, I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to my slumber party.
    2. But you can’t force me to have a pillow fight in my underwear.

  78. CPrime says:

    1. I totally hate this job.
    2. Being a blind seeing-eye Twi’lek is not worth the money they’re paying me.

  79. CPrime says:

    Most of these are really, really good, but if I had to pick my favorites (other than my own, of course), I’d have to go with Loki (8) second entry, Rick (19), Bael (23), Joel (27), Nakiato (38) entries 2, 3 and 5, Blue Blazer (41), BenK22 (43) entries 3 (with an admitted Firefly bias) and 7, and Dino (46).

    But that’s just my opinion.

  80. CPrime says:

    and frankie (62) as well.

  81. hobbit4hire says:

    1. Can’t read my, can’t read my No he can’t read my poker face
    2. P-p-p-poker face,(Mum mum mum mah) p-p-poker face

    1. Come on! Seriously?!?
    2. Even Katy Perry wouldn’t wear this!!

    1. No… When I said I wouldn’t be caught in this…
    2. I really meant… Oh nevermind! Idiots!!

    1. Does that sign say “Star Whores” auditions?!?
    2. Wait… Isn’t this Studio A? I need Studio A!!

    1. My agent said you’d try and rope me into a love scene…
    2. but this is ridiculous!! Where’s my phone!!

  82. hobbit4hire says:

    1. Ouch! Ok.. Cut!!
    2. Where’s my stunt double??

    1. I don’t care what George says..
    2. This episode is badly written!

    1. “No, Mom” I said “It’s a kids Show…”
    2. “They don’t DO that” Uuuugh!!

    1. I used to be an actor, Dammit!! I did Les Miserables!!
    2. There were 5 curtain calls!! Now look at me! LOOK AT ME!!

  83. Thanks for using it Jeff. To bad I missed it.
    Damn you Eerie Cuties, Penny Arcade, Video Game Cats, and The Zombie Hunters!!!! DAMN YOU!!!!