Your challenge this week is to come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this classic Batman panel:
I don't know why Batman wore a disguise over his costume instead of, say, just taking off his costume, but I guess when you're the GD Batman you can do whatever you want. And why kill Robin while he's in his costume, for that matter -- if he washes up you've not only got a murder investigation on your hands, but some explaining to do as to why Dick Grayson was dressed up as the Caped Crusader's little buddy.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there. For this contest, note that you have two separate dialog bubbles, so you'll need to fill them both in your entry, like so:
Balloon 1: See if you still think this coat makes my butt look big ...
Balloon 2: From the bottom of the ocean!
Otherwise the rules are the same -- keep it clean, put your entry or entries in the comments to this post, and have them in by next Monday. The winner will receive his or her choice of either any item they like, or a portrait, either of which will appear in the final HeroMachine 3 version.
Good luck everyone!
“Go now! Learn the ways of their people!”
1. Balloon 1: You never loved me
Baloon 2: Like I needed you to
2. Balloon 1: Here’s to you
Balloon 2: Mrs. Robinson
3. Balloon 1: Want to play “Doctor makes a house call”?
Balloon 2: Wait! Come back.
4. Balloon 1: If Houdini could do it
Balloon 2: So can you
5. Balloon 1: I hope you can hold your breath
Balloon 2: Forever!
Balloon 1: This worked for Jason
Balloon 2: It will work on you.
Balloon 1: The boat’s sinking! What can we do without?
Balloon 2: I hate to get rid of my cinder block & chain… and robin too, I guess.
Not so great.
Balloon 1: Sorry,old chum…
Balloon 2:but now you are chum!
Balloon 1: Sorry that it has to end like this…
Balloon 2: but I’m tired of the “Ambiguously Gay Duo” jokes!
balloon 1: say hi to Aquaman
balloon 2: FROM ME
balloon 1:let’s see if that suit
balloon 2: is water proof
Balloon 1: We’re here,…
Balloon 2: Enjoy the BLOCK party!
Balloon 1: For the last time, NO!
Balloon 2: This is NOT an imaginary story!
Balloon 1: Don’t worry, robins are aquatic birds —
Balloon 2: I read it on Wikipedia!
Balloon 1: This sidekick thing just wasn’t working out, Robin —
Balloon 2: But I wish you best of luck in your future endeavors!
Balloon 1: And then we just put this in the water…
Balloon 2: …Why aren’t you floating?
Gregg (#9): That Wikipedia one made me laugh out loud, good one!
1)If I cant have you-
No one can!
Balloon 1: You could have gone to the dry cleaners OR just thrown away your blue dress! But either way —
Balloon 2: NOBODY blackmails The Batman!
B1: “If you can dodge death…”
B2: “you can dodge a batarang!”
B1: “Undercover Batman…”
B2: “Would make a GREAT action figure!”
B1: “Dammit, Robin…”
B2: “I AM THE PIRATE KING!”
Oh-no, no, DAMN!!!
… he had the keys on him.
Balloon 1: Dump em.
Balloon 2: and leave em.
Balloon 1: What would happen if you were not around.
Balloon 2: Some times you just have to know.
Balloon 1: This is the last time you will ever
Balloon 2: Drive my car!
Balloon 1: This was the only way
Balloon 2: To get pedo bear out of my life.
Balloon 1: I wonder why I just did that
Balloon 2: Probably shouldn’t have been drinking.
And now I call robin back,
back from the plot hole beyond!
balloon 1: Sorry, Robin.
balloon 2: The Comics Code wants you gone.
b1: I’m not Batman you idiot!
b2: I’m the joker in desguise of Batman in desguise!
Balloon 1: At first I was just going to poison you
Balloon 2: But this seemed like more fun.
Balloon 1: Its only murder
Balloon 2: if you die.
1: And this time…
2: …DON’T COME BACK!
Balloon 1: I’m sorry, Robin…
Balloon 2: …but Fredric Wertham is on to us!
Balloon 1: A quick dip in the Lazarus Pit…
Balloon 2: …while I punish the Ewoks that took your life!
Balloon 1: I sure hope that Robin…
Balloon 2: …doesn’t come back as a killer in a hockey mask!
1:I don’t want you in
2: batman 3
1:don’t worry i saw this
2: on jackass
Balloon 1: Plop,Plop,Fizz,Fizz…
Balloon 2:Oh, What a relief it is!
2)My keys are in his left poket!
1)Golly Gee Willikers Batman this ,Golly Gee Willikers Batman that.
2)God I hated that line!
balloon 1:If you won’t sleep with me…
balloon 2:you’ll sleep with the fishes
Balloon 1: Sorry Robin
Balloon 2: You lost the poll.
1: Another day…
2: …another Robin.
Balloon 1: I defeat evil everyday
Balloon 2: But today Postpartum Depression wins.
b1: im sorry little buddy but
b2: Chris Matthews is on to us.
Balloon 1: Maybe my next Robin
Balloon 2: Will remember to put the cap back on the toothpaste.
B1: Oh and Robin…
B2: It’s not you, IT’S ME!
Balloon 1: I’m sorry Robin
Balloon 2: This is the only way you’re safe from the Joker.
Balloon 1: when you disrespect me
Balloon 2: you disrespect the Justice League
Balloon 1: burn down mansion, check
Balloon 2: dump the body, check
Balloon 1: can you survive?
Balloon 2: Superhero Fear Factor!
Balloon 1: worst remake of
Balloon 2: the god father ever!
Balloon 1: you don’t leave the Batmobile running!
Balloon 2: gas is exspensive!
Balloon 1: you can’t drown Mcclou, your immortal
Balloon 2: oh wait! wrong movie!
Balloon 1: This is for saying
Balloon 2: Marvel comics is better!
B1: Side Effects of drowning may include…
B2: Nausea, Heartburn and DEATH!
Balloon 1: How dare you
Balloon 2: Insult my brilliant disguise!
Balloon 1: If you drown, you’re human,but if you survive
Balloon 2: THEN YOU’RE A WITCH!
Balloon 1: A bird in the hand
Balloon 2: EQUALS TWO IN THE SEA!
Balloon 1: Now you’re dead
Balloon 2: JUST LIKE MY PARENTS!
Balloon 1: Sorry, old chum…
Balloon 2: but we have to plug that Gulf Coast oil spill!
Balloon 1: It’s the Joker’s Fault Robin
Balloon 2: He kept asking why I can’t quit you!
1)That is the last time you drink milk from the carton…
1)Throwing your sidekick to his watery death isn’t normal…
2)… but on meth it is.
1)This what happens when you sidekick for Dr. Midnight behind my back…
Balloon 1: You didnt replace the toilet roll
Balloon 2: Now im gonna replace you!
Balloon 1: You left the toilet seat down…
Balloon 2: Now your going down to the bottom of the sea!
Balloon 1: Why so serious?
Balloon 2: I’ll show you serious!
Balloon 1: This is how i learnt
Balloon 2: how to swim!
Balloon 1: Riddle me this, riddle me that
Balloon 2: Your gonna drown for calling me FAT!
1 balloon1 the ocean will have to do
balloon2 ben affleck’s trailers getting full
2 Balloon1 told you like i told Todd
Balloon2 Dick is the only real robin Drake
3 Balloon 1 rope 3$ boat 80$ hate and coat 30$
Balloon2 getting this kid out of the way so i can get with bat girl priceless !
4 balloon1 i warned him i warned him hit on bat girl all you want
Balloon 2 but cat womans mine punk
Balloon 2:Blow, Rock-and-Robin cause we really gonna ROCK tonight!
Balloon 1: Sorry Robin,
Balloon 2: But Aquaman really needs a sidekick.
Balloon 1: I am Bizzaro Batman
Balloon 2: but you can call me, The Bat Don!
Balloon 1: you like auto-erotic-asphyxiation?
Balloon 2: Then try this!
Balloon 1: your, Robin the Boy Wonder
Balloon 2: as in: boy I wonder how I’ll survive this!
Balloon 1: You’re going
Balloon 2: drown, town!
1)Robin ,Robin ,Robin!
2)Your just had to go and break up with Batgirl!
1)I dropped my bat-keys in the water…
2)…would you get them for me ,thanks!
I know it was you Robin! You broke my heart!
1. Balloon 1: Sorry Robin, I’m broke
Balloon 2: …and it was you or the dog.
2. Balloon 1: Okay the plan is simple
Balloon 2: just find the Batboat and pull it back up.
3. Balloon 1: Okay Robin, our fame is down
Balloon 2: so keep splashing and I’ll wait in the car.
Balloon 1: I’m still waiting for you to say it…
Balloon 2: …”Holy Wet Dream, Batman!”
Balloon 1: “If you set a bird free and it returns to you…”
Balloon 2:”Um,…I don’t see that happening!”
I would save you… but your costume clashes with my new hat and coat.
Balloon1:sorry robin you cant get all the girls Balloon2:well batman i am the pretty one.
1. Balloon 1: It’s called the Bat-Cinder Block.
Balloon 2: I designed it myself.
2. Balloon 1: Now, to throw out my improvised Bat-Anchor.
Balloon 2: Aw, crap in a hat!
3. Balloon 1: If I told you once, I told you a thousand times…
Balloon 2: Don’t touch my giant penny!
Plus one more bonus one:
Balloon 1: Stupid…stupid…
Balloon 2: Stupid DC and their stupid 1-900 polls…
Balloon 1: FIVE ROBINS!!!
Balloon 2: One to many!!!
Balloon 1: Here Aqua Man
Balloon 2: Hes perfect for you
Balloon 1: I told Alfred the bat brick and chain wouldn’t work on are utility belt.
Balloon 2: Good thing I got Robin to try it first.
Balloon 1: Get out of this magic boy
Balloon 2: Oh wait he did trapezes didn’t he
1. Balloon 1: I lost the bet…
Balloon 2: And now you’re Aquaman’s sidekick!
2. Balloon 1: Recreate my favorite book…
Balloon 2: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea!
3. Balloon 1: Hope you can sing…
Balloon 2: You’re in “The Little Mermaid”!
B1: Oh darn!
B2: I forgot to keep Veronica’s swim suit top.
B1: That’s teach you . . .
B2: For steeling Veronica’s swim suit top.
Balloon 1: Whats red and yellow and blue all over. Its a dead Robin. Right Riddler…
Balloon 2: …Riddler?
Balloon 1: I’ll show you how were going to catch Killer Croc
Balloon 2: Here crocy crocy crocy
1: No, I’m sorry.
2: “Lemme go” isn’t the safe word.
B1: This is what happens
B2: When you wreck the bat mobile
This is the first part of your swimming lessons
This is the first part of your swimming lessons…. Hehehe
1. Balloon 1: Catch!
Balloon 2: Oops.
2. Balloon 1: I’ll save you!
Balloon 2: Grab my lucky cinder block!
3. Balloon 1: Rise…
Balloon 2: RISE!
4. Balloon 1: Dick Grayson…
Balloon 2: Make that “Brick” Grayson!
5. Balloon 1: Return to “cinder”…
Balloon 2: Address unknown!
1. Balloon 1. “Holly block and chain, Batman.”
Balloon 2. “My a$$.”
2. Balloon 1. Crime scene 101.
Balloon 2. Body dumping.
3. Balloon 1. Trust me Robin.
Balloon 2. It really is a floating block.
4. Balloon 1. You going undercover like this,
Balloon 2. Is the only way to catch the body dumpers.
Balloon 1: Holy Houdini, Batman. How will I ever get out of this?!”
Balloon 2: You’ll think of something, Boy Wonder. (evil grins)
4. Balloon 1: We have to beat…
Balloon 2: David Blaine at his own game!
5. Balloon 1: Trust me…
Balloon 2: Joker gave me this.
Balloon 1-You just left the seat up…
Balloon 2-For the last time!!
1) Some dead weight…
2) for the dead weight!
B1: I wonder if Davy Jone’s Locker . . .
B2: stinks like our locker room at the Batcave?
Balloon 1: Now that all the bad guys are locked up in Arkham Asylum again, I need to save someone to improve my image.
Balloon 2: (takes off the costume) Don’t worry Robin, I’ll save you!
Balloon 1: And now for your test escaping drowning
Balloon 2: I had to go through it too you know
Balloon 1: The best way to overcome your fear
Balloon 2: Is to face it fair and square
Balloon 1: No! My Cinder block!
Balloon 2: I’ll not have you use it in your kinky sex-games, Robin!
Balloon 1: Remember the plan. I’m going undercover as “Mugsy Bat Mann
Balloon 2: and you’re going undercover as dead body at the bottom of the river.
1) Well, it is Shark Week
2) old CHUM!
1: Take it away, take it away,
2: Take away this ball and chain.
1: You want a pet fish?
2: Here have 2 billion!
1: My bat submarine is broken,
2: So here is the next best thing.
1:I’ll be damned,
2: if dateline ruins my reputation!
i’ll drill this idea into the skulls of my colleauges but we should have a sith lords contest
Well ajw you are persistent, I’ll give you that. Two words though . . . Copy Write.
B1: Well old CHUM . . .
B2: Lets see how they take the bait.
B1: By the way Robin;
B2: The chain’s aren’t fakes like we planned.
B1: Only one animal was harmed in the testing of this product.
B2: I big annoying Ribin!
Balloon 1: I’m sick of your stupid green speedos!
Balloon 2: Which will come in very handy.
B1: Only one animal was harmed in the making of this production.
B2: One big annoying Ribin!
ajw, we can’t do a Sith lords contest because Sith and Jedi are copyrighted creations of LucasFilms. To have a contest along those lines would place me and UGO (and you, for that matter, if you entered) in legal jeopardy.
balloon1: “Sorry Dick, but I owe Aquaman a favor.”
balloon2: “I’ll see you on Monday.”
balloon1: “I’m sorry that it has to end this way, Robin.”
balloon2: “But I’m not ready to come out of the closet.”
balloon1: “Quick, someone’s coming. Duck under the boat.”
balloon2: “I’ll come get you when it’s safe.”
1) Hey Boy Wonder
2) Tell Deadman I said hi
1) I don’t need you
2) I’m a magnet to teenage orphan boys
1) I told you once I told you a million times
2) Im the only one who can give Catwomem catnip
1) Take that Clayface
2) Relay hope that was Clayface
1) Darn you Mad Hatter…
2) I hate fedoras!
1) Take that Clayface
2) Now, Robin let’s… Robin?!
1) Calender Man, CALENDER MAN?!?!
2) You lost to Calender Man!?!?
[First entry deleted for inappropriate content.]
Balloon 1) And this is what happens when…
Balloon 2) you mess with my care-bear collection.
Balloon 1) I want to be Harry Potter today
Balloon 2) Let’s hope I have enough Gillyweed.
Balloon 1) Change the name to the “Robin-cave”??
Balloon 2) We can’t be having thoughts like THAT!
Balloon 1) Its over between us Robin, Rorschach gave me his letterman jacket!
Balloon 2) Now hit the bricks Flipper, hope you brought some ShamWows!!
B1: OK, Robin it’s sink-and-swim!
B2: Wait…It IS “and”, right?
Ballon one:Have you got the bat Chain and Bat Cinder block Jason?. Jason!!!!!!
Ballon two: Oh well ill get make up a story with Joker
Balloon 1: Sorry, BURT…
Balloon 2: but ADAM WEST shares his convention spotlight with NOBODY !
well no sith but evil mystical space lord contest could work
1: Now this is what i’d call
2: a wet dream!
B1: Sleep tite . . .
B2: Don’t let the shark’s bite.
Balloon 1: Some how…
Balloon 2: This just feels really good.
1) Hey kids, you to can fish for sharks. All you need is a cinder block, chains, and a annoying sidekick.
2) Step one, kinda obvious… don’t you think?
1) Robin the key is in your utility belt!
2) Hey whats this in my pocket?
2) I don’t think you can beat Harry Houdini’s record.
1) Faster than a speeding bullet my butt.
2) Think he’d be here by now.
Balloon 1: I’m sorry Robin but….
Balloon 2: no one must know I’m Samuel L. Jackson
1. Using your sidekick as an anchor,2.Priceless!
B1: So Sidekick doesn’t mean kicking you over the side?
B2: Wow, English is hard!
1. Balloon 1: Ok smart mouth why don’t you
Balloon 2: CHANNEL HOUDINI!
2. Balloon 1: Don’t worry Robin, I’m sure I used the foam block and chains
Balloon 2: No wait, I left them at home. Sorry old chum
3. Balloon 1: I though I told you
Balloon 2: Never make fun of the purple suit!
1) I told you already…
2) I could totally beat Spider Man!
1) No way its not possible!
2) In Superman Return he would never be able to pick up an island of kryptonite!
1) No way NO NO NO!
2) The Dark knight was way better that Superman Returns!
1) Im way better than Tony Stark.
2) How does a billionaire, playboy, genius have a heat condition.
1) Take this!
2) Thats for saying Kite man should be in the next movie/
1) What you just wanted to fit in if Aqua lad jumped off a bridge would you?
2) Fine i’ll help
1) Take that!
2) This is for making me row all the way out here to kill you!
1)Holy cement cube robin…
2) its a cinder block!
1) Weights and water-
2) your only 2 weakness’s!
1) X box is better…
2) Im rich but PS3 still to expensive.
1) Whats that you want to drive the bat sub?
2) Fine go get it!
1:Borrow my spandex underwear will you?
2:Let this be a lesson to you!
1) “If you can’t even escape from this”
2) “You can’t be in my next movie”
1) “Honestly Old Chum, its really nothing personal”
2) “But if Superman doesn’t need a sidekick, neither do I”
1) “Do me a favor while you are down there Robin”
2) “Tell Aquaman he still owes me $10”
2)I told you I’ed do it!!!
Thats mine, it’s the best.
1)Huh….I always escape from those…
I think that fits what going on.
Hate MJ’s sloppy seconds
B1: I don’t think this is what they expected . . .
B2: When they came up with the Truth or Dare game.
balloon1: “I’m always right. And this will prove it.”
balloon2: “Professor Plum did it in the ocean, with the chain.”
1) Ok Robin were going to test the new Bat Shark Repellent…
2) *sniff sniff* do I smell old spice?
1: Child protective services?
2: Protect this!
1: The Safe Word is…
1: Holy this…
2: Holy that…
1: Wait ’til he finds out…
2: …it’s only 2 feet deep!
1: Sorry, old chum, but…
2: Frank Robbins hates you!
1: I guess a Danger Room…
2: Wasn’t such a good idea!
Balloon 1: Now you know
Balloon 2: How Jason Todd felt!
B2:Now who’s gonna keep me company *sniff*
B1:Its all your fault!
B2:Your the one who wore those itty bitty briefs
B1:I said don’t wash my coat with your pjs!
B2:You just wouldn’t listen, now would you!
1) No theirs no sharks.
2) Its just Shark Week.
B1: For the last time.
B2: You have to seperate the colors from the whites!
just thought I’d say, as a suggestion, we should totally have a martial artist and/or ninja character contest.
2)I told you I’ed do it!!!
1)Huh….I always escape from those…
1)I always wanted to try this!
2)Now if you get worried say, glub glub.